How come this keeps happening?


;)
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Tue 4 Jun 2013, 12:29, 16 replies)

Might it not be good to have some way of reading only the replies to this QOTW that were in some way interesting?
Might a way to achieve this be to implement a "popular" button for QOTW?
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 5 Jun 2013, 11:42, 4 replies)

This question to Five Star....

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 May 2013, 17:13, 8 replies)

My problem is - I've always wanted to cop a feel off of Angelina Jolie. And now, I can't, obviously. So I wrote a poem about it....
I really wanted to get my hands
On Angelina Jolie’s mammary glands
I just want her organs of lactation
She had ‘em chopped off in a tit operation.
They’re really good, I’m not a cynic
I went through the bins at the Hollywood clinic
It’s for the best now, she supposes
I hunt for the puppies with their little pink noses
My search is thorough, i don’t use haste
Trawling through skips of medical waste
I couldn’t find them - fancy that!
Just bags of liposuction fat
That smelled so rank i lost my humours
And just found bin bags full of tumours
But then I ran right out of patience
I couldn’t find A.J.’s amputations
I threw some tantrums and some fits
Just where were Angelina Jolie’s tits?
So ploughing on, ignored my cautions
Unearthed a vat of late term abortions
And tons of cocks - a huge consignment
From loads of gender realignment
I’ll never find them here, i bet
So logged my phone on the internet
I looked online - and was I glad!
I found her tits on a CraigsList ad!
I skipped around like a ballerina
I’ll buy the milk-churns of Angelina!
Just like the quest for the grail, so holy,
So close now to the knockers of Jolie!
Damn horny - my cock started dripping
But they didn’t do international shipping
That’s crap, that’s shit, that’s total cobblers
I’ll never get my hands on A.J.’s wobblers.
(SigourneysBeaver took off and nuked the entire site from orbit on, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:47, 6 replies)

How come this keeps happening?

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sat 1 Jun 2013, 5:59, 19 replies)

Pinocchio
What happens if he says "My nose is about to grow."

This has been troubling me for a few days now.
(British Steel was participating in awesomeness on, Tue 4 Jun 2013, 4:55, 5 replies)

By means of demonstration
A few months back I was going through tough times - family bereavements, serious work bullshit bollocks, and an almighty slump into depression. Being off work I was required to stay at home, and ended up on b3ta a lot, especially QOTW. I have to say the feedback I got from some b3tans was exactly what I needed - exchanging experiences and receiving excellent advice anonymously, with great generosity, and unselfishly given, restored my faith in humanity.

My deepest thanks and respect:

Curtainsnotclutches

Professor Kenny Martin

Ubergeekian

username failed moderation

ringofyre

Drimble

social hand grenade

Windy Pig

Ken Oath

the other guy

Finster
(roysin, Thu 30 May 2013, 20:20, 14 replies)

Is this the real life?
Is this just Battersea?
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Sun 2 Jun 2013, 0:43, Reply)

I hadn't finished, could you open your curtains again please?

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 31 May 2013, 12:00, Reply)

I made myself a milkshake...
...and all of a sudden, my yard was full of boys!

Explain that with your precious science!
(NoStrings Tastes like zombies!!, Thu 30 May 2013, 21:59, 3 replies)

It looks like you're writing a letter. Would you like some help with that?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 30 May 2013, 18:02, Reply)

Is it the Red Zone or White Zone for loading and unloading of Passengers only?

( The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Thu 30 May 2013, 17:22, 2 replies)

Which of the b3ta mods was this?

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 4 Jun 2013, 22:02, Reply)

Since it last came up in a question of the week
I imagine that we've all been trying to raise the bar, both on a personal level and in the interests of healthy competition with other people on B3ta.

So, since this was last discussed, what is the biggest thing you've stuck up your arse?
( Muns, Tue 4 Jun 2013, 13:53, 17 replies)

Alistair Darling
What colour are his pubes likely to be?
( Muns, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 13:22, 6 replies)

Earlier this evening
I was preparing a few peppers for skinning. The easiest way to do this is to blacken the skin with some kind of flame. I have a new gadget for this purpose - one of those blowtorch things. It was all going swimmingly well and I was quite pleased with myself. It ran out of lighter fluid and I refilled it, but spilled some ( a lot). At this point it might have been better to relight it somewhere other than the location where I spilled it (the sink). What followed was a sink full of flame, a burning dishcloth and the simultaneous burning of my eyebrows, eyelashes and fringe (its even further back than it was). My question is... what else can I use the blowtorch for (presuming my wife allows me to use it ever again)?
(gearanach #wankwankwank, Sun 2 Jun 2013, 22:01, 9 replies)

How is babby formed? How is babby formed? How girl get pragnant?

(Redemption blamed it on the Bossa Nova since, Sat 1 Jun 2013, 20:23, Reply)

Donald-
Whears ye troosers?
(bangthedrum, Sat 1 Jun 2013, 20:01, Reply)

when
did people start thanking bus drivers when they get off the bus? i've only noticed it in the last couple of years. why?
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 1 Jun 2013, 13:57, 19 replies)

Did you threaten to overrule Derek Lewis?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 30 May 2013, 20:51, Reply)

Can I Play With Madness?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 30 May 2013, 16:13, Reply)

How far can you get reading this webpage without laughing.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Blackwood

I can only get to the first line of the "Career" section.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 30 May 2013, 15:57, 2 replies)

Kunt and the Gang.
In God's name WHY?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 30 May 2013, 15:53, 1 reply)