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[challenge entry] first draft


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From the General election: Photoshop Tories challenge. See all 399 entries (closed)

(manwiddicombe is thinking of something witty to add here, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 11:41, archived)
# anyone actually read the manifesto yet?
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Scunner She’s a he, technically, but she’s scalding hot, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 11:43, archived)
# Read the what now?
Do you mean the "This is what they want to hear fairy tale book"?
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 11:44, archived)
# Shush - the telly's on.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 11:45, archived)
# Homes Under the Hammer?
I loves that
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 11:45, archived)
# I can't wait for Eamonn Holmes Under MC Hammer
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 11:47, archived)
# You can't touch this... pie
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 11:52, archived)
# I liked the film better

(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 11:45, archived)
# I'm a little busy presently.
rubbing shit in my eyes.
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 11:45, archived)
# You're not supposed to read it!
Jesus Christ on a bike, if people read manifestos, they'd actualy be taking responsibility for the future of the country instead of blindly putting a tick in the box next to the party their parents voted for. That'd bugger up the whole status quo, and then where would we be?

People might start asking questions. That's where. Before you know it, they'd want to know why their democraticaly elected representatives weren't representing them at all, and toeing the party line instead.

Then they might start wondering why they needed representing at all, and why they couldn't vote on major issues of the day themselves, given how easy it is to organise with the internet.
(I helped save b3ta! Halibut If you think education is expensive, try crack., Tue 13 Apr 2010, 11:48, archived)
# and then
if you vote for them, you're implicitly agreeing with *everything* in the manifesto - "Well, the public voted for it so we must do it"

such a lot of fuss over a little cross in a box

we should all just have marshmallows instead
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 11:50, archived)
# It's not like they'll stick to it anyway
How long did it take Labour to introduce tuition fees after explicitly promising they wouldn't in their 1997 manifesto? A year? Two?
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 11:52, archived)
# *ahem*
How about re-nationalising the fucking Railways!!!!!!
From 1997 as well...
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 11:54, archived)
# oh yeah
still waiting for that one

the snivelling lying fucking cunts
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 11:55, archived)
# I like the sound of that.
We should replace the title format for MP's with it.

Going from:
The Right Honourable Fred Fredderson, Member of Parliament

To:
Fred Fredderson the Snivelling Lying Fucking Cunt

Everybody would know where they stood, then.
(I helped save b3ta! Halibut If you think education is expensive, try crack., Tue 13 Apr 2010, 12:05, archived)
# Even the media don't read them, really
How else to explain no mention of the Broadband goof in ANY of the mass media outlets.
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 11:51, archived)
# because computers are for geeks
not the public
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 11:52, archived)
# ...fees start at £31,000 for boarders
(chriky, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 11:46, archived)
# What?
Not the collies?!


'ningles b3tards.

Just had to get rid of a very creapy guest. Seemed to think that it was perfectly acceptable for him to follow female guests to their rooms, knock on their doors and ask them to have sex with him.

He was genuinely surprised and appauled that myself and guests took exception to this.
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 11:49, archived)
# you should dress up as a laydee for him
that'd shit him right up
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 11:51, archived)
# this.
Then start following him around and insist that he have sex with you.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 11:54, archived)
# hahaha
I literally had to be on his case for an hour after check out time to get. Each time he said he was going, I even had to take his laptop off the network.
When he finally vacated the room an hour after he was meant to he though it would be fine to stick around to have a cup of tea.
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 12:07, archived)
# and that's your job, isn't it Ghostie?
Sorry, too harsh.
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 11:52, archived)
# hell yeah:)
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 12:08, archived)
# Sorry about that
I'll use rohypnol next time
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 11:53, archived)
# AND I WUDDUV FUCKD DEM FRIGID BITCHES IF IT WASN 4 U MEDDLIN KID
(I helped save b3ta! Michael Ellis contributes nothing, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 11:56, archived)
# It's not his fault you're place is full of lesbians
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 12:03, archived)
# Arf!
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 12:04, archived)
# I think it is
They weren't when they arrived:P
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 12:08, archived)
# Well at least he asks!!!!!!!11!!!!
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 12:04, archived)
# It's not rape if you shout, 'surprise!'
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 12:09, archived)
# It's not rape if you kill them afterwards
(I helped save b3ta! Michael Ellis contributes nothing, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 12:12, archived)
# *guilty office LOLS"
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 13:40, archived)
[challenge entry] I'll just add this here
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 11:47, archived)
# Haha
best one yet!
(I helped save b3ta! The Coast Of Yemen, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 11:49, archived)
# :D
Excellent.

*clicks*
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 11:50, archived)
# I loled
(chriky, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 11:53, archived)
# it's tragic because it's true
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 11:56, archived)
# Hahaha
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 11:56, archived)
# hahaha
(Rattlehead all time with the gay, forever touching, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 12:00, archived)
# hahaha....brilliant
:D
(I helped save b3ta! Elvis impersonator, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 12:32, archived)
# hahahaha...
Brilliant!! :)
(I helped save b3ta! Ninj, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 12:49, archived)
# WIN.
(Spaff_Quaffer Wise fwom your gwave., Wed 14 Apr 2010, 18:07, archived)
# And it's not my fault!
I was 17 at the last election, therefore I still absolve myself of all blame for another month.

It was you lot, you horrible oiks.
I hope you all feel ashamed.
(I helped save b3ta! Quijibo Esq. BSc. May contain traces of nuts, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 22:37, archived)
# On the Money
and winner,
(I helped save b3ta! The Scrunt Wants a Dozen Pints, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 23:04, archived)