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# Ghost Hitler was enjoying the 2010 World Cup
(I helped save b3ta! doog Don't read this., Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:10, archived)
# oooOOOoooooOOOooooooOooo
Nice!
(I helped save b3ta! Chorizowagon Came wandering back on, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:11, archived)
# HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONK
(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:39, archived)
# Real horns should sound like this
Hoo - ah
Hoo - ah

We'll have none of those cheap South African imports here mister.
(I helped save b3ta! Chorizowagon Came wandering back on, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:25, archived)
# :D
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:11, archived)
# Imagine those horns at the Nuremberg rallies
Ein Volk, ein Reich, Ein lästige summen horn
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:13, archived)
# Please do the vuvu that you do so well
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:14, archived)
# Frankie Boyle in The Sun today*
suggested that 'vuvuzela' sounded like the euphemism a middle class family would use with a child to describe a lady's part. As in..

Harriet! We are at the restaurant. Stop scratching your vuvuzela!


*I was having my hair cut - that's why i was reading The Sun - Redsushi will tell you!
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:25, archived)
# haha any excuse I bet you bought it ;)
But does the word vuvuzela give men the horn?
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:29, archived)
# PARP!
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:30, archived)
# HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONK
(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:39, archived)
#
honk
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:42, archived)
# the hairdresser had to pump the seat to lower me
and I was watching her boobs jiggle in the mirror as she did it (she was no looker mind) then I realised that my boobs were jiggling more than hers
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:44, archived)
# pffffft
I'm still flat as a pancake but thankfully Mrs V has enough jigglage for the both of us
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:49, archived)
# hehe
TJ: I need to buy a battery charger as my car battery is dead and jump starting it isn't working well.
I just chose one from the Halfords website. Put on my shoes, grabbed my wallet and phone. Grabbed my car keys and oh.
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:16, archived)
# D'OH!
Hop on a duck!


(I helped save b3ta! Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:18, archived)
# I'm loving this new duck theme
(I helped save b3ta! Chorizowagon Came wandering back on, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:19, archived)
# they bide their time
watching.
always watching.
and eating bread.
always watching, and eating bread.
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:21, archived)
# My friend once gave me the best piece of advice ever
"Try feeding a duck ice cream"

It is truly hilarious
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:43, archived)
# hahahaha!
best saying ever.
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:44, archived)
# the results are brilliant
because they love ice cream, but their bills can't handle the coldness

basically they go mental then come back for more
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:51, archived)
# they don't know the way
they need quack-nav
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:20, archived)
# They just go as the crow flies
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:25, archived)
# and have you ever seen a crow in Halfords?
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:27, archived)
# Use a horse.
Best of all the animals.
(I helped save b3ta! Damien's Hearse, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:20, archived)
# cor! I love them!
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:20, archived)
# Skateboard, dude.
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:24, archived)
# You'll find you need a new battery regardless as once you get to the point of it not starting like that, its pretty much dead
Modern car alarms rinse the battery so it means you can't really save them these days :(
(I helped save b3ta! Victor Meldrew, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:25, archived)
# what Ad7 says
if it won't hold a charge - it's knackered
(I helped save b3ta! bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:27, archived)
# I only gave it a mile's drive in the hope it woudl be enough
it wasn't, so this is attempt 2 before forking for a new battery
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:29, archived)
# Hang on...
You jump-started, got it running, drove a mile, stopped, and then immediately tried to start it again and it wouldn't?

DON'T buy a battery charger then! Your battery is DEAD. Deceased. It has shuffled off this mortal coil, ... etc

Edit: Just get a mate to drive you to buy a new battery. (Or use a bike, if you're sure you can stop the acid spilling!). New lead-acid batteries are stored dry. When the battery-seller adds the acid, the battery is in its 'charged' state and ready to go. No need for a charger. (If I remember correctly).

When batteries get old, sludge builds up and short-circuits the plates together. Once that happens the battery is no good whatsoever. No amount of charging will bring it back to life.
(I helped save b3ta! Bee Nice |-|, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:39, archived)
# no - I didn't try restarting it. Don't know why - my mind is full of butterflies these days
I'm expecting this, but feel a charger would be useful anyway as we both have diesel cars (yes I have another car, but the Mrs is out and about in mine since I broke hers)

good battery knowledges there!
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:46, archived)
# I was in the same situation as you a year ago!
Diesel car wouldn't start after holiday. Paid a fortune (penalty joining rates) to AA to come out and start it, persuaded them to STAY around while I drove around a bit to 'recharge the battery'.

Waste of time & money. The battery was deady dead DEAD!

So I got another jump-start from the AA guy (glad I'd told him to wait!) and drove to a battery supplier (a cheapy tyres / exhausts / battery place).

Result: I still had to spend the £60 for the new battery, but only after wasting £75 on AA membership! Don't do what I did! Phone up the battery supplier and they'll be happy to check the right battery's in stock for you. Then just go and get it.
(I helped save b3ta! Bee Nice |-|, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:54, archived)
# :D
in fact I've done pretty much this thing in the past. Joined the AA on the spot to get them to tell me I needed a new fuse which they didn't carry in stock!
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:57, archived)
# Just reach in there and remove the sludge from the plates!
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:48, archived)
# can I put the plates in the dishwasher afterwards?
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:49, archived)
# *mans up*
*reaches in there*

*dies of lead poisoning & acid burns*

Bzzzttt BZZZTTTT!

*reanimates!*
(I helped save b3ta! Bee Nice |-|, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:58, archived)
# ooh - what super powers did you get?
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:05, archived)
# yes - my technical helpline (dad) has also suggested this
but its worth getting one anyway.

I left the ignition on all night!
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:28, archived)
# Doh!
I had a massive argument with my mate at work about me being able to save the battery. I ave it 24 hours on a charger and it didnt work, I gave it 25 mins car to car power and it worked....only to die once I'd turned it off and tried to fire it up again.
(I helped save b3ta! Victor Meldrew, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:36, archived)
# I had this problem in a car years ago. I got three blokes to push start me, I drove off,
then remembered I hadn't plugged the alternator back in. I was too embarrassed to ask them to do it again so waited for a while and then got someone else to push me. He was a hitchhiker and I drove him 20 miles to say thanks!
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:49, archived)
# take this map


(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:26, archived)
# *studies*
oddly - that does look like the centre of Swindon where Halfords is
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:29, archived)
# the other paths lead to a square and a triangle
they should make clearer maps to Sony Playstation's HQ

:D
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:30, archived)
# haha :D
(I helped save b3ta! Damien's Hearse, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:17, archived)
# ace :D
(I helped save b3ta! theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:17, archived)