SELECTIONWhat is long brown wet and sticky and comes out of cows backwards? Isle of Wight Ferry
Guy is pulled over for speeding. Officer walks up to him and asks” Having difficulty taking off sir?”
Which is odd one out: 5 21 28 35 39 41 49 & 58. 35, because it’s the only one with boiled rice.
I was standing at the bar one night, minding my own business. This fat ugly chick came up behind me, grabbed my behind and said, 'You're kind ’a cute. You gotta phone number?' I said, 'Yeah, you gotta pen?' She said, 'Yeah, I got a pen'. I said, 'You better get back in it before the farmer misses you.' Cost me 6 stitches.
I was talking to a young woman in the bar last night. She said, 'If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right.” I said, “If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you.” Cost me a fat lip but When you’re over sixty.................who cares?
I was telling a woman in the pub about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her breasts. 'Really' she said, 'Go on then... try.' After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience and said, 'Come on, what day was I born?' I said, 'Yesterday.' Cost me a kick in the nuts
I got caught taking a pee in the swimming pool today. The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in. Cost me a bloody nose.
A young executive was leaving the office late one evening when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand. 'Listen,' said the CEO, 'this is a very sensitive and important document here, and my secretary has gone for the night. Can you make this thing work for me?' 'Certainly,' said the young executive. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button. 'Excellent, excellent!' said the CEO, as his paper disappeared inside the machine. 'I just need one copy...'
Went to club last night and saw a big woman dancing on a table. I said, 'Good legs.' The girl giggled and said, 'Do you really think so?' I said, 'Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now.' Cost me 6 more stitches.
(,
Fri 4 Nov 2016, 22:52,
archived)
Guy is pulled over for speeding. Officer walks up to him and asks” Having difficulty taking off sir?”
Which is odd one out: 5 21 28 35 39 41 49 & 58. 35, because it’s the only one with boiled rice.
I was standing at the bar one night, minding my own business. This fat ugly chick came up behind me, grabbed my behind and said, 'You're kind ’a cute. You gotta phone number?' I said, 'Yeah, you gotta pen?' She said, 'Yeah, I got a pen'. I said, 'You better get back in it before the farmer misses you.' Cost me 6 stitches.
I was talking to a young woman in the bar last night. She said, 'If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right.” I said, “If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you.” Cost me a fat lip but When you’re over sixty.................who cares?
I was telling a woman in the pub about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her breasts. 'Really' she said, 'Go on then... try.' After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience and said, 'Come on, what day was I born?' I said, 'Yesterday.' Cost me a kick in the nuts
I got caught taking a pee in the swimming pool today. The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in. Cost me a bloody nose.
A young executive was leaving the office late one evening when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand. 'Listen,' said the CEO, 'this is a very sensitive and important document here, and my secretary has gone for the night. Can you make this thing work for me?' 'Certainly,' said the young executive. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button. 'Excellent, excellent!' said the CEO, as his paper disappeared inside the machine. 'I just need one copy...'
Went to club last night and saw a big woman dancing on a table. I said, 'Good legs.' The girl giggled and said, 'Do you really think so?' I said, 'Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now.' Cost me 6 more stitches.
I don't get the last one! It's like you have crashed two jokes together!
(,
Fri 4 Nov 2016, 23:46,
archived)
Teal deer
Ham o' Shatner -.-- --- ..- .-. / .- .-.. .-.. / --. .- -.--,
Sat 5 Nov 2016, 0:07,
archived)
I hope this makes the newsletter.
drimble he'd been white, he'd been black,
Sat 5 Nov 2016, 0:20,
archived)
Well, it looks like you remembered your password at last.Shame you logged onto the wrong site though.
(
da5id <YOUR SIG HERE>,
Sat 5 Nov 2016, 1:47,
archived)
