![[challenge entry]](/images/board_posticon_c.gif "Challenge Entry: Make Britain Great again"){kind=small}
NEW IMAGE CHALLENGE - MAKE BRITAIN GREAT AGAIN
The devastating impact of nul points at Eurovision has hammered home just how much the world hates the UK.
Show us what it would take to make the world like the British Isles. Crack open Photoshop and Make Britain Great Again.
From the Make Britain Great again challenge. See all 34 entries (closed)
(
God - smiting mortals since 4004 BC,
Sun 23 May 2021, 11:40,
archived)
Our entry was legit terrible though.Terrible in every way.
The singer was fat, ugly, out of breath, out of tune and uncharismatic.
The song he wrote had terrible lyrics compared to people writing in English as a second, third, or fifty-fourth language.
The song he produced had no energy, no delineation between chorus and verse, no hook, nothing catchy about it, and was tinny.
FFS, we have a richer history of music production than any other European nation, we have every advantage in terms of talent pool and expertise to draw on, yet here we are, outclassed by Moldovan music tech graduates who refuse to read past the second line in their cheapest available rhyming dictionary, outclassed by all the joke entries, outclassed by literally everybody else.
We don't take the ESC seriously, then we get upset and paranoid every time we inevitably lose. Other countries send their best, understand their audience, and compete to win. We send our worst (eg. X-Factor runners up, washed up ravers, hasbeen/neverwaspub singers, Sonia and fucking Jonathon King). We insult the audience. We don't compete.
We deserved our double-zero as much as we've deserved all our low scores in recent years. Hopefully this will wake up the UK committee and we will see a return to form next year, but I say something like that every year, and the UK committee is still sending 'ave-a-go pub singers with the song they made using Kelloggs Rice Crispy eJay/Playstation Music 2000.
(The singer was fat, ugly, out of breath, out of tune and uncharismatic.
The song he wrote had terrible lyrics compared to people writing in English as a second, third, or fifty-fourth language.
The song he produced had no energy, no delineation between chorus and verse, no hook, nothing catchy about it, and was tinny.
FFS, we have a richer history of music production than any other European nation, we have every advantage in terms of talent pool and expertise to draw on, yet here we are, outclassed by Moldovan music tech graduates who refuse to read past the second line in their cheapest available rhyming dictionary, outclassed by all the joke entries, outclassed by literally everybody else.
We don't take the ESC seriously, then we get upset and paranoid every time we inevitably lose. Other countries send their best, understand their audience, and compete to win. We send our worst (eg. X-Factor runners up, washed up ravers, hasbeen/neverwaspub singers, Sonia and fucking Jonathon King). We insult the audience. We don't compete.
We deserved our double-zero as much as we've deserved all our low scores in recent years. Hopefully this will wake up the UK committee and we will see a return to form next year, but I say something like that every year, and the UK committee is still sending 'ave-a-go pub singers with the song they made using Kelloggs Rice Crispy eJay/Playstation Music 2000.
brb homonecrobatrachophile,
Sun 23 May 2021, 14:44,
archived)
B...but we sent BONNIE TYLER and still came back empty-handed!
(
thecrapgatsby isn't listening LALALALALALA,
Sun 23 May 2021, 16:44,
archived)
Not quite so empty handed, we came 19th place with 23 points. It was shit, but infinitely better than what we submitted this year.Even the last place losers that year got 6 points more than we did this year.
If I was feeling uncharitable I might suggest Tyler was in the hasbeen/neverwaspub singers category, along with Humperdink and, ironically, Katrina & The Waves.
(If I was feeling uncharitable I might suggest Tyler was in the hasbeen/neverwaspub singers category, along with Humperdink and, ironically, Katrina & The Waves.
brb homonecrobatrachophile,
Sun 23 May 2021, 16:56,
archived)
We were beaten by a country that's spent the last fortnight bombing civiliansMust be a Brexit bonus.
(,
Sun 23 May 2021, 17:30,
archived)
Israel's song was shite, but at least it was produced and staged well.Ours was mixed using Tomy technology and our choreographer was a potato.
( brb homonecrobatrachophile,
Sun 23 May 2021, 19:09,
archived)
I have had just about enough of your woke agenda, mahafo. brb homonecrobatrachophile,
Sun 23 May 2021, 19:10,
archived)
this'd be a good start
empire of the pussycat requires more champage,
Sun 23 May 2021, 15:55,
archived)
Blimey, seems harsh on Dorset
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thecrapgatsby isn't listening LALALALALALA,
Sun 23 May 2021, 16:40,
archived)
A very controversial angle for mushroom clouds, yes. brb homonecrobatrachophile,
Sun 23 May 2021, 16:58,
archived)
The explosions were so powerfulThey knocked the islands off perspective
squid head,
Sun 23 May 2021, 18:40,
archived)
Leave Eire alonethis is about making Britain loveable, they're already popular
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JustHere4Coffee remembers when all o' this were car parks,
Mon 24 May 2021, 2:14,
archived)