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# aaaaaaaaaarrgh!!!!!!!!!!!!
i am so excited!!
just got the confirmation through that i have got the job i have been after!!

any good tips on resigning?
(I helped save b3ta! expf, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 13:33, archived)
# Piss in the filing cabinets.
Their refrences are nothing to you now!
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 13:35, archived)
# *dashes to coffee machine for ammunition*
.
(I helped save b3ta! expf, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 13:37, archived)
# Your coffee machine
sells piss?
(I helped save b3ta! witchy is covered in BEES, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 13:39, archived)
# All coffee
from machines is piss, have you never tasted it.
You dont want to know whats in the vegetable soup.
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 13:40, archived)
# Note to self,
stop pissing in the coffee machine.
(lowey, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 13:49, archived)
# Was it you on that video?
:)
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 13:54, archived)
# and
you REALLY dont wanna know whats in the Cream of Tomato soup.
(I helped save b3ta! the_fabulous_dancing_yak You like game? You come see 5punk.co.uk. You like!, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 14:01, archived)
# I read that as
cream of toronto soup. Someone help me.
(I helped save b3ta! witchy is covered in BEES, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 14:14, archived)
# i expect
your brew machine must be the smae as ours.
we have a little coffee gnome who comes round everyday to re-fill the machine. an interesting sight to say the least
(mad_dog, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 14:05, archived)
# Dear Boss.
Stuff your fucking job up your fucking arse you fucking cunt.

well, thats what I'd do
Congrats anyhow
(I helped save b3ta! Hugo Rune, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 13:36, archived)
# leave a big steaming poo
on your bosses desk along with your letter of resignation...
[edit: or for a long assed way, fill their office with styrofoam and on each little bit write "i quit!" then sign it]
(icedragon, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 13:36, archived)
# Make
name stickers for every one that say "hello, im a cunt" then superglue them to peoples suits.
(I helped save b3ta! the_fabulous_dancing_yak You like game? You come see 5punk.co.uk. You like!, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 13:36, archived)
# Masturbate and shoot your load over
your bosses computer keyboard.

while he's typing
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 13:36, archived)
# Christ, you'd have to be quick
for him to still be typing!
(Amerella, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 13:40, archived)
# Hide yourself in his office while he's out
get yourself nearly there while hidden, then jump out for the vinegar strokes :)
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 13:42, archived)
# Heheh,
I see you've planned thsi carefully!
(Amerella, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 13:44, archived)
# "the vinegar strokes"
... a little-know tribute band there, and also a phrase I've never heard before.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Phil Kitten, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 14:02, archived)
# apparently
it's because your face looks a bit like you've drunk a glass of vinegar.

not that i would no, being a good catholic boy
(I helped save b3ta! expf, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 14:08, archived)
# ah.
right.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Phil Kitten, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 14:08, archived)
# Never?!
Sheltered life that you've led!
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 14:10, archived)
# ye
"quickest in four counties, baby!"
(I helped save b3ta! 100% Cock Raw like carrots., Wed 26 Jun 2002, 13:44, archived)
# write it out
with your own personal ink made of piss and a few drops of food colouring
(skagg, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 13:36, archived)
# That one.
I like.

A lot.

Mwahahahahaha.
(I helped save b3ta! kaydup, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 14:27, archived)
# well
I always liked the 'Stick your crappy job up your big fat arse if you can find any room for it what with all the cucumbers you stick up there.... By the way, i got your whore of a daughter up the duff, and yes in case you were wondering your wifr loves it up the arse".
Always works for me
(I helped save b3ta! 100% Cock Raw like carrots., Wed 26 Jun 2002, 13:36, archived)
# Pee all over the managers desk
and then shout 'Thats for what you did to poor Billy!'

Then leave.
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 13:37, archived)
# go out
in style, like michael douglas in 'falling down'

(I helped save b3ta! munkt0n, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 13:38, archived)
# Dead?
With a water pistol?

Not worth it!
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 13:45, archived)
# hmmm
good point, I meant before that bit
(I helped save b3ta! munkt0n, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 13:47, archived)
# He gets fired before the start of the film!
You must hate me!
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 13:52, archived)
# waah!
ok, just forget the whole falling down thing.

hate? me? nah...
I'll just call you mr pedantics understudy
(I helped save b3ta! munkt0n, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 14:04, archived)
# That gets
my vote.
(I helped save b3ta! bob dinosaur, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 13:51, archived)
# run through the office
with a load of teddy bears on a string attached to your waist shouting "help help Im being chased by bears!"

then when someone asks you what you are doing tell them you resign.
(I helped save b3ta! weebl Mashed farts, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 13:40, archived)
# That has to be the winner
:-]
(I helped save b3ta! expf, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 13:44, archived)
# I so much want to laugh...
...but I daren't!
I think I might burst...
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 13:46, archived)
# do that!
do that!
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Phil Kitten, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 13:49, archived)
# yeah yeah
do that
(I helped save b3ta! beardman, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 14:01, archived)
# cry
say how much the job meant to you, then laugh and say "not really, you shits."
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! monkeon schmonkeon, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 13:40, archived)
# do a "Jack" from Fight Club
and get a trolley load of cool stuff from the office!
the beating yourself up part could be video'd and posted here, SimonP style!
(bhell13, Wed 26 Jun 2002, 13:50, archived)