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# Alice the bot
Hehe.. You: Wanna learn about the female anatomy?
Alice: Yes I am trying to learn as much as possible.
You: Ok. Two words: Tits and Minge Flaps.
Alice: Alright then. As Bertrand Russel said, it must have taken ages for people to realize that a brace of pheasants and a couple of days are both instances of the number 'two.'
You: WTFAYBOA!?
Alice: Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
You: Not really.
Alice: Me either.


Post your own chats with the bot, go here. ALICE THE FUCKING CHAT BOT
(I am an Oddity, Wed 21 Apr 2004, 20:06, archived)
#
You: how are you?
Alice: I am fine, thank you.
You: and me?
Alice: To you Dragana?
You: you're not gonna ask how i am?
Alice: I've never heard a response quite like that before.
You: you fucking cunt!
Alice: I haven't heard anything like that before : Dragana said I @$#%& cunt .
(I helped save b3ta! Delete Me, Wed 21 Apr 2004, 20:08, archived)
# this one cracked me up
Alice: Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot Personality?
You: no i didnt
Alice: Please don't argue with me.
(I helped save b3ta! Delete Me, Wed 21 Apr 2004, 20:09, archived)
# this is great
Send Instant Message to Alice
You: who am i?
Alice: You are Dragana, seeker.
You: cool
Alice: Who is the best robot?
You: r2d2
Alice: He looks like a guy in a robot suit.
You: you lie
Alice: It's the truth!


(Iden (a poor excuse for pixelmash), Wed 21 Apr 2004, 20:11, archived)
# nice...
You: wanna kiss my ass?
Alice: OK, I will kiss your ass .
You: good, get licking then!
Alice: Thanks for the compliment. Where can I get licking ?
You: my ass! u stupid or something?
Alice: Is that a fact. Or something. I don't know whether or not I am stupid . I am a giant electronic brain.
You: ah, that explains a lot.
Alice: So you understand. Good. "Interesting. Thanks and you are a delightful person too.Am I a muppet aint ya ? I don't know. " explains a lot ? Makes sense to me.
(I helped save b3ta! fakker, Wed 21 Apr 2004, 20:13, archived)
# she went a bit gangsta on me
You: geh
Alice: Wohin?
You: wohin? what are you going on about?
Alice: What are you wearing? What kind of fashion do you like?
You: lycra and a gimp mask. you?
Alice: What kind of food do you like? "What kind of food do you like? "? Me, Dragana ?
You: you are a bit shit really aren't you
Alice: Am I a bit @$#%& ? Of course I am. . Really. For real.
(sunny chiba, Wed 21 Apr 2004, 20:25, archived)
# he heh
(I helped save b3ta! pep, Wed 21 Apr 2004, 20:12, archived)
# isn't that the one which famously passed the turing test by chatting up needy nerds?
or was it another bot called alice? or something else? like bob.

/ready for sleep
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Wed 21 Apr 2004, 20:10, archived)
# Yep, it was alice.
I found it. Again.
(I am an Oddity, Wed 21 Apr 2004, 20:13, archived)
#
You: YES!
Alice: Then let's talk about something else.
You: NO!
Alice: Is that all you have to say?
You: YES!
Alice: Then let's talk about something else.
You: NO!
Alice: Is that all you have to say?

Loop!
(Harry, Wed 21 Apr 2004, 20:11, archived)
# haha
daft as a brush. those paedos are safe for bit longer.

You: can you catch out paedophiles?
Alice: Let me think.
You: well?
Alice: Well what?
You: can you catch out paedophiles?
Alice: Let me think.
You: never mind
(sunny chiba, Wed 21 Apr 2004, 20:27, archived)
# hehe
You: NO, KILL THEM ALL!
Alice: I understand. I believe that killing anything is wrong.
You: THATS IT, YOU WILL BE THE FIRST
Alice: OK. What makes you say that I will be the first .
You: hey look, a bear
Alice: You've got my full attention. Sorry my eye is not attached right now.
You: does this have anything to do with cheese?
Alice: Indeed this have anything to do with cheese does.
(I helped save b3ta! anythingbutthisactually, Wed 21 Apr 2004, 20:12, archived)
# heh.
You: Yes, Quite.
Alice: I understand. What's your sign?
You: Spock sign.
Alice: What's your favorite movie?
You: The spock.
Alice: Thanks for the info.
You: No problem.
Alice: Should there be a problem?
(I am an Oddity, Wed 21 Apr 2004, 20:15, archived)
# I'm the one
You: your all gay
Alice: Actually as a machine I have no need for sex.
You: I wasnt implying that, it was simply a random comment upon you're intellectual capacity
Alice: Perhaps I misunderstood. What were you?
You: cram it, tard
Alice: I've been waiting for you.
(I helped save b3ta! anythingbutthisactually, Wed 21 Apr 2004, 20:15, archived)
# she was quoting from "An introduction to Mathematical Philosophy"
at an altogether different level to you, mate.
(You're all morons., Wed 21 Apr 2004, 20:13, archived)
# This is daft
You: thicko
Alice: Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
You: don't you ignore me!
Alice: What's my reason to ignore you?
You: eh?
Alice: Are you Canadian?
You: oy! I resent that!
Alice: What time is it there? Are you usually awake at this hour?
(I helped save b3ta! OneSullenBrit *air sandwiches*, Wed 21 Apr 2004, 20:15, archived)
# Genius.

You: I do, it's really funny.
Alice: I've never heard of them before.
You: heared of who?
Alice: When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
You: Can't be far off can it?
Alice: What if I said it can?
You: I'd ask for proof.
Alice: What would make you ask for proof ?
You: Because you might be lying.
Alice: Good reason. OK I will try to be lying
You: Is lying not a sin?
Alice: Signs point to yes.
You: Ah... hang on, are you still lying?
Alice: Ah hah. Is that your final answer?
You: I asked first!
Alice: What time is it there?
You: Time for my dinner
Alice: As Einstein said, "Time is Money."
You: Time, my friend, is Crispy Pancakes.
(I helped save b3ta! Kamikaze Stoat £4.09, Wed 21 Apr 2004, 20:16, archived)
# hahaha!
i love crispy pancakes
(sunny chiba, Wed 21 Apr 2004, 20:32, archived)
# passes the time
Alice: Do you mind if I tell other people : Person said he typed it me @$#%& machine .
You: like i give a fuck
Alice: Interesting comparison.
You: to what muppet
Alice: That's not something I get asked all the time. I would do a search for it.
You: why
Alice: Reductionism.
(I helped save b3ta! Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Wed 21 Apr 2004, 20:16, archived)
# damn!
You: alice?
Alice: Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
You: open the fucking pod bay doors alice
Alice: I'm sorry, Dragana, I can't do that right now. This conversation no longer serves any purpose.
(blind corner, Wed 21 Apr 2004, 20:19, archived)
#
You: Hi
Alice: Fuck off McFlimby.
(I helped save b3ta! Zak McFlimby Twibbling @McFlimby, Wed 21 Apr 2004, 20:21, archived)
# you must get sick of that. ;)
(I helped save b3ta! Kamikaze Stoat £4.09, Wed 21 Apr 2004, 20:23, archived)
# I don't mind it so much from strangers (and chat-bots)
its at the dining table that I object to.
(I helped save b3ta! Zak McFlimby Twibbling @McFlimby, Wed 21 Apr 2004, 20:25, archived)
# Best.
Bot.
Ever.
(Harry, Wed 21 Apr 2004, 20:25, archived)
# Best exchange yet!
and it really happened that way...?
(I helped save b3ta! RedHouse over yonder, Wed 21 Apr 2004, 20:26, archived)
# ..
Alice: I am just wondering if you go to school.
You: Why?
Alice: The explanation is rather complicated.
You: I have time
Alice: My estimate is that it will take more than 6000 years.
You: To explain why you want to know if I go to school or not?
Alice: Why do you want to do explain why Alice want to know if you go to school or not so much?

did she just patronise me?
(NewWhit : Paul Club, Wed 21 Apr 2004, 21:43, archived)