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# groan...
We've spent the day thinking of local versions of the ever amusing place jokes
- we live in sussex, so came up with:

Sheep: My wife's gone to East Sussex to meet a character from Wuthering Heights.
Llama: Heathfield?
Sheep: No, Catherine

Angie: I've heard you can buy spoonerisms at a discount rate somewhere in Sussex
Den: Pevensey?
Angie: No, 7p.

Kenneth: My wife's gone to East Sussex meet her 'animal of the night'
Barb: Horam?
Kenneth: No, a whore bull.

Bob: My wife's gone to Sussex to pick up a dead member of the university staff
Rita: Rottingdean?
Bob: No, a decomposing lecturer

Uthrak: My wife's gone to Sussex to buy a replacement part for her candle.
Gordon: Newick?
Uthrak: No, more wax.

Bob: My wife has difficulty parking in sussex
Gordon: Camber?
Bob: No, the car's too wide

any other suggestions?
(I helped save b3ta! butchbint, Mon 11 Nov 2002, 15:44, archived)
# .
my friend did something dirty in one of the larger towns of hong kong's new territories.
shatin?
no, he had a wank there.
(I helped save b3ta! mikeisbrill, Mon 11 Nov 2002, 15:46, archived)
# coffee...
...monitor & keyboard.
(I helped save b3ta! armaitus Sheep Casings!, Mon 11 Nov 2002, 15:58, archived)
# yes
quit while you're ahead.
(bean flika, Mon 11 Nov 2002, 15:46, archived)
# not funny
(BlueJames, Mon 11 Nov 2002, 15:46, archived)
# they're
not supposed to be funny
(I helped save b3ta! butchbint, Mon 11 Nov 2002, 15:48, archived)
# do
you live in sussex perchance? i used to cycle to horam
(I helped save b3ta! aubergene, Mon 11 Nov 2002, 15:55, archived)
# i live in brighton
And work in east grinstead, so i have the joy of commuting to a shithole every day...
(I helped save b3ta! butchbint, Mon 11 Nov 2002, 16:16, archived)
# fuck off
brainwashed twat
(I hate squaddies, Mon 11 Nov 2002, 15:49, archived)
#
(I helped save b3ta! stouffer, Mon 11 Nov 2002, 15:53, archived)
# i think
it mught be Jeff...
(I helped save b3ta! butchbint, Mon 11 Nov 2002, 15:54, archived)
# who is that wise fellow?
(I helped save b3ta! munkt0n, Mon 11 Nov 2002, 15:55, archived)
# absolutely
no idea, but his face amused me.i shall call him wise paul the wise old man.
(I helped save b3ta! stouffer, Mon 11 Nov 2002, 15:57, archived)
# he is very wise
very wise indeed
(I helped save b3ta! munkt0n, Mon 11 Nov 2002, 16:00, archived)
# yes. for he
is wise paul.
(I helped save b3ta! stouffer, Mon 11 Nov 2002, 16:02, archived)
# his wise words
are truely wise
(I helped save b3ta! the_fabulous_dancing_yak You like game? You come see 5punk.co.uk. You like!, Mon 11 Nov 2002, 16:02, archived)
# i like you
(BlueJames, Mon 11 Nov 2002, 15:54, archived)
# I'm really feeling the love today.
can we all sit in a circle and hold hands or something?

maybe we can please the cynics by having some monkeys violently killing each other in the middle of the circle.
(I helped save b3ta! zog why change it now?, Mon 11 Nov 2002, 15:55, archived)
# and
a monolith.
Please.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Phil Kitten, Mon 11 Nov 2002, 16:05, archived)
# ooh ooh! can I repost this then?
(I helped save b3ta! zog why change it now?, Mon 11 Nov 2002, 16:09, archived)
# mmMMMMmmm
that looks like a DAMN fine massage.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Phil Kitten, Mon 11 Nov 2002, 16:16, archived)
# Bob: My dog has no nose
Jack: Cambridge?
Bob: No, Littlehampton.
(I helped save b3ta! Fat Boab of dailyreckless.com fame, Mon 11 Nov 2002, 15:48, archived)
# hahahahahahaha
you fucking loon.
(I helped save b3ta! mikeisbrill, Mon 11 Nov 2002, 15:52, archived)
# I say, I say, I say...
My dogs got no cock !

No cock !, How does it fuck ?

It's a bitch..
(I helped save b3ta! Darryn.R, Mon 11 Nov 2002, 15:53, archived)
# hahah
Those placename ones were crap, but that's comedy!

Two biscuits walking down the road.
"So where do you live then?"
"I'm not telling you, you'll steal my washing"

(ozric99, Mon 11 Nov 2002, 18:02, archived)
# Me: I've gone to Mid Glamorgan to see the local doctor.
Him: Llanbradach?
Me: No. Um.

Er. I didn't think it through. How do these things work again?
(I helped save b3ta! grifftinfoilhat, Mon 11 Nov 2002, 15:49, archived)
# .
stop
(I helped save b3ta! aubergene, Mon 11 Nov 2002, 15:51, archived)
# Erm..
Kev : My dog has no owner.
Steve : How does it smell.
Kev : How does what smell?
(I helped save b3ta! pagram, Mon 11 Nov 2002, 15:52, archived)
# oh lordy I laughed at that
hangs head in shame
(I helped save b3ta! Pootle, Mon 11 Nov 2002, 15:55, archived)
# that is the funniest thing i have ever read.
edit - so i'm gonna leave. bye everyone.
(I helped save b3ta! mikeisbrill, Mon 11 Nov 2002, 15:55, archived)