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Home » Messageboard » Why I was late this morning » Message 536796

[challenge entry] The perfect excuse...
Works every time...

From the Why I was late this morning challenge. See all 258 entries (closed)

(Spin Doctor, Fri 6 Dec 2002, 14:41, archived)
# The now legendary Hedley
was late once and when I asked him why he said "Coz my goldfish were on fire."
(I helped save b3ta! Hugo Rune, Fri 6 Dec 2002, 14:43, archived)
# I'd respect that in an excuse
an utter disregard for the truth, most pleasing.
(I helped save b3ta! Pootle, Fri 6 Dec 2002, 14:45, archived)
# my girlfriend
was at a lecture, some girl walked in late and was asked why, the reply was "i was in prison"
(I helped save b3ta! aubergene, Fri 6 Dec 2002, 14:48, archived)
# A woman's varicose vein exploding on the bus was my best
(and true) excuse.
(I helped save b3ta! pep, Fri 6 Dec 2002, 14:51, archived)
# what about the time
you found a dying crack whore on your doorstep? That must be a contender.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Phil Kitten, Fri 6 Dec 2002, 14:53, archived)
# Didn't pep
just step over her though? Wouldn't have made her late.
(I helped save b3ta! Wifey, Fri 6 Dec 2002, 14:55, archived)
# ah yes,
good point, good point.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Phil Kitten, Fri 6 Dec 2002, 14:56, archived)
# I totally forgot about that.
Nahh, I nicked her money and kicked her to the kerb.
then roller her back, gave the money back, called the ambulance and got scared shitless when she woke up
(I helped save b3ta! pep, Fri 6 Dec 2002, 15:02, archived)
# eugh.
(Amerella, Fri 6 Dec 2002, 14:53, archived)
# Yeuch
that's really horrid..
My best was the time I was late for work 'cause me and my mate got drunk and ended up on an oil tanker. We had problems getting a taxi to get us home from there...
(I helped save b3ta! Wifey, Fri 6 Dec 2002, 14:54, archived)
# that's quite impressive
you're a bit of a dark horse you, what with your American Servicemen and the like... hmmm....
(I helped save b3ta! pep, Fri 6 Dec 2002, 15:04, archived)
# The tanker was in dry dock
but it was a very funny night. I shall tell you about it sometime.. ;0)
(I helped save b3ta! Wifey, Fri 6 Dec 2002, 15:11, archived)
# oooh, intruiged now
can't wait!
(I helped save b3ta! pep, Fri 6 Dec 2002, 15:17, archived)
# we're you wearing the contents....
for added authenticity when you finally arrived?
(I helped save b3ta! monkeymanblue mathematically safe, Fri 6 Dec 2002, 14:58, archived)
# where are the apostrophe police?
you'd surely be nicked for that.
(I helped save b3ta! beardman, Fri 6 Dec 2002, 15:02, archived)
# i'd change it...
but your message would then look silly!
(I helped save b3ta! monkeymanblue mathematically safe, Fri 6 Dec 2002, 15:11, archived)
# I once
turned up for a lecture covered in my own blood following a particularly nasty cycling accident.
(I helped save b3ta! HP hasn't been here in aaaaaages, Fri 6 Dec 2002, 15:00, archived)
# wierdly
my parents got a letter from their gardener yesterday, saying they need to find someone else for a few months.

Postmarked Lewes Prison.

Didn't bother to mention what he's in for, though.

(I helped save b3ta! isthisyou?, Fri 6 Dec 2002, 15:08, archived)
# "Mummeh! The Gardener's gorn to Prison!"
"Damn! One simply can't get the Staff these days..."
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Phil Kitten, Fri 6 Dec 2002, 15:11, archived)
# i knew you were going to say that,
Philomena
(I helped save b3ta! isthisyou?, Fri 6 Dec 2002, 15:15, archived)
# "I'm Nude"
would be a better excuse. WYH BTW.
(I helped save b3ta! sick_boy, Fri 6 Dec 2002, 14:46, archived)