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# nice
name.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Phil Kitten, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 10:49, archived)
# It took me a minute...
...but I agree
(I helped save b3ta! Mystery_Bob, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 10:50, archived)
# cheers
i thought it was very slightly amusing.
(I helped save b3ta! mikeisbrill, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 10:51, archived)
# yes
but the glasses one only works if you're a posh southerner ;)
(I helped save b3ta! new_matt, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 10:51, archived)
# Don't northerners get pissed
and fall on their arse? ;)
(I helped save b3ta! chthonic, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 10:53, archived)
# they're too hard
to fall over when drunk. they just keep drinking until their livers explode.
(martian, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 10:54, archived)
# oh aye
but we don't wear glarrses
(I helped save b3ta! new_matt, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 10:55, archived)
# *giggling like a loon*
Superb as always. They're all great!

Right, I'm off to do some work. Bye all.
(I helped save b3ta! Matazone has new icons, but is keeping this one, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 10:50, archived)
# i hate poetry
but they're great.

i made an arse of myself to john hegley the other week. bollocks.
(martian, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 10:53, archived)
# C'mon share...
I'm sure he's used to it, either that or he'll imortalise you in a future poem
(I helped save b3ta! Ijon Tichy, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:02, archived)
# well, i was a bit pissed
so i went up to him and told him why i thought he was great - most poetry sounds contrived and pointless, but his sounds very natural - and then told him, "my favourite poem of yours is this...".

after reciting it, he said, "That's a really nice poem... but it's not mine".

oh christ, how I wanted to hide.
(martian, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:07, archived)
# well, I'm laughing at you now.
But I'm also cringing for you, if it helps.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Phil Kitten, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:08, archived)
# Splendid!
Could've been worse, you might have told him to cheer up and start wearing contacts.
(I helped save b3ta! Ijon Tichy, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:12, archived)
# As always
Top class work!
(I helped save b3ta! Andi is member 695 so have some damn respect, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 10:54, archived)
# .
I reckon you should start sending your poems to publishers.

A) because I'd buy a collection as they are great - and most comedy books are shit.
I think you'd have a chance of publication - even if it means lots of work and not much money to write the thing.

and

B) You could make a section on your website of good rejection letters - send them to non publishers too, just for the variety. eg, send your glasses one to the glasses wearer of the year contest and ask if you can read it at their awards ceremony.
It could make good content for your site.
(I helped save b3ta! monkeon schmonkeon, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:04, archived)
# C.
Most publishers will recommend you get an agent first.

The Writer's and Artist's Yearbook 2003 will be your friend here - available from whuhsmiths and other good bookshops.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Phil Kitten, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:05, archived)
# ooh
fine use of Inverness...it is rarely well quoted in literature these days
(Squishie, Mon 6 Jan 2003, 11:32, archived)