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# I can't remember if I posted this or not but...
This was a flyer given to me in the streets of Johannesburg.
From a 'traditional healer' aka 'witch doctor'.

He can cure many things including a bad case of 'customer'. All with just a few herbs and bones!

(I helped save b3ta! Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 12:48, archived)
# funniest thing i've seen in ages...how real!
yay
(I helped save b3ta! Hummel Who died and made you....oh wait...., Sat 21 Jul 2007, 12:53, archived)
# Can't see periods?
So.... you're having them, but you're unable to see them?

What's a Tokolshe?
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 12:55, archived)
# In a nutshell
an evil spirit.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tokoloshe.
(I helped save b3ta! Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 12:58, archived)
# I'd like to see it being chased.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 12:59, archived)
# It's something
My cousin and I used to use to scare the bejesus out of my sister with. There's nothing like an irrational fear of something completely unknown.
(Woodgie is back, but for how long?, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:08, archived)
# Are you and your cousin foreign types?
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:09, archived)
# I'm half a forn type
He's very forn type. Not even a native English speaker! Did you know such exists! God must have made a slip up somewhere along the line!
(Woodgie is back, but for how long?, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:15, archived)
# My brother's exactly the same.
Doesn't speak a word of it.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:18, archived)
# That just confuses me
I'm going for a lie down.
(Woodgie is back, but for how long?, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:24, archived)
# I get this sort of thing through my door every now and then.
Although the Leeds healers usually seem to be able to cure less. It's all demonic posession and love problems. It looks like I'll have to go to Johannesburg if I ever want to be able to see a period.
(I helped save b3ta! The Doctor Why is it big and why is there grass?, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 12:57, archived)
# really, you've got voodoo types?
woooow.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 12:58, archived)
# Yep, I'll save the next flyer I get and post it so all can phone them.
Then hopefully we'll all see a real period.
(I helped save b3ta! The Doctor Why is it big and why is there grass?, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:00, archived)
# I hope and pray that someday I might be blessed with seeing one, yes.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:01, archived)
# I'd like to think the whole thing is done by happy little pixies
that dress in the most flamboyant way and shuffle along pushing out stuff with their fancy little custom winklepickers.
(I helped save b3ta! The Doctor Why is it big and why is there grass?, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:05, archived)
# I think they're quite angry little pixies in my womb.
Either way, they don't half like to cause me pain for two weeks out of the four.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:06, archived)
# Perhaps leave them some fancy but less pointy little silken outfits.
Oh and little tiny pipes and pixieweed. For fun you could wrap them in little boxes and hide them in amongst the mystical pubic regions. That should cheer them up.
(I helped save b3ta! The Doctor Why is it big and why is there grass?, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:09, archived)
# I could buy a douche.
It'd be like a waterpark for them.


(I'm so, so sorry for that mental image)
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:11, archived)
# That could work.
However if your womb pixies still aren't happy maybe just stick a lizard in there. They'll think they've ended up in Jurassic park and high tail it out of there. For added fun you can then stick fly paper over the magical lady cave to catch them and hopefully the lizard that should chase them out.
(I helped save b3ta! The Doctor Why is it big and why is there grass?, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:14, archived)
# WOW!
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:18, archived)
# In LEEDS?
Bloody hell, the Tokoloshe travels far these days.
(I helped save b3ta! Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:00, archived)
# It's a mixed up ol' city. I live next door to a shop that sells Caribbean food and wigs.
What more could I ever want?
(I helped save b3ta! The Doctor Why is it big and why is there grass?, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:01, archived)
# Well nothing I can think of
If you can eat nice curry goat whilst wearing a Bob Marley wig I couldn't imagine you'd want for anything else.
(I helped save b3ta! Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:04, archived)
# curry goat?
Don't, that's unfair. I might get some mutton tonight and cook some up for the manwife (St Lucian bunny that he is, he'll just chuck half a bottle of hot sauce in it anyway)
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:06, archived)
# All the while having bones and herbs chucked at me to banish inner demons.
(I helped save b3ta! The Doctor Why is it big and why is there grass?, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:06, archived)
# How very cosmopolitan
I live next door to a mosque and a mini-cab office, Hyde Park clearly doesn't attract the wig-conscious consumer...
(Baron Samedi - sale must end, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:08, archived)
# Harehills is where it's really at in Leeds.
I can get pizzas covered in curry round the corner or shot round the other one.
(I helped save b3ta! The Doctor Why is it big and why is there grass?, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:10, archived)
# Hahahahahaha
(I helped save b3ta! Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:12, archived)
# Bang!
and the bad luck is gone?
(The_Epitome, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 12:58, archived)
# Oh yes
(I helped save b3ta! Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:04, archived)
# I must ask....
has anyone ever actually tried to see their period? Wouldn't that be incredibly difficult and also very very wrong?

I like how he can solve court cases too. He much have lots of certificates over his desk.
(I helped save b3ta! SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 12:59, archived)
# You can see it when you're....changing things.
Although no, not actually coming out of your vagina.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:00, archived)
# Well thats what I mean.
What a very strange service to offer.

Maybe its just rib removal.
(I helped save b3ta! SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:02, archived)
# Something I still wonder about having done.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:04, archived)
# Think about it. A real-life genuine close-up period.
WOW.
(I helped save b3ta! SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:06, archived)
# Not to watch my period, you silly moo.
*raises an eyebrow*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:07, archived)
# Haha, you don't say...
;)
(I helped save b3ta! SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:09, archived)
# Or at least, until I have enough money to hire Jake Gyllenhaal to do it for me.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:12, archived)
# A rugged manly vision of manliness?
I don't see it myself :)
(I helped save b3ta! SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:15, archived)
# Not so much.
I just really would do the lad till he cried and begged me not to.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:18, archived)
# I really hope this is your board stats quote.
(I helped save b3ta! The Glum Reaper cannot solve your problem because he has no jam, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 15:50, archived)
# No certificates
But lots of bones (to throw) and herbs (to drink).

They tend to wear a very big head-dress thing made out of feathers and an animal skin thrown over their backs. Which is enough to impress your average superstitious person.
(I helped save b3ta! Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:03, archived)
# I wouldn't argue with a chap covered in dead animal.
(I helped save b3ta! SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:04, archived)
# I would.
If his name were 'that cunt Tom Green'.



He needs to learn the difference between funny and ugly.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:08, archived)
# He also needs to stop.
(I helped save b3ta! SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:10, archived)
# ^ this
(I helped save b3ta! The Doctor Why is it big and why is there grass?, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:11, archived)
# Cease and desist.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:11, archived)
# /witch doctor joke
:D
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:02, archived)
# That reminds me.
I've got one of those creationist ones somewhere.

Need to convert it to text so it can be analysed ;)
(Woody999, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 13:07, archived)
# Hurrah!
Longer periods for woman MPs
(I helped save b3ta! Peregr1n @peregr1n, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 14:06, archived)