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# Well,
It seemed to work... she didn't turn me down! In fact, we organised a date for this Saturday! Woo who! My first date!
(BurningFeetMan, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 9:25, archived)
# are you 12?
(I helped save b3ta! Fat Boab of dailyreckless.com fame, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 9:27, archived)
# No,
I'm 20.
(BurningFeetMan, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 9:34, archived)
# then learn to swim young man,
learn to swim.
(I helped save b3ta! Fat Boab of dailyreckless.com fame, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 9:37, archived)
# But I've been swiming since I've been 3.
(BurningFeetMan, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 9:41, archived)
# So what,
I've been wanking since I was 14, but you don't hear me boasting about it.
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 9:46, archived)
# ha ha ha ha
comedy arse

sorry genie arse
(I helped save b3ta! M@rkoni, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 9:47, archived)
# 14?
Late developer, sir?
(I helped save b3ta! thirdman Ia! Ia! R'lyeh Cthulhu ftagn! Ia! Ia! Mglui nafl, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 9:47, archived)
# that's late?
boys ARE strange.
(I helped save b3ta! gracielou, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 9:49, archived)
# Look, I can't remember
the exact date can I, it's not a 'where were you' moment is it, it's not like a first kiss or anything.
Maybe I was younger, who knows.

Christ, you make a joke and suddenly the pedantic bastars crawl out the woodwork and ruin it.
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 9:51, archived)
# I was joking
muppet
(I helped save b3ta! thirdman Ia! Ia! R'lyeh Cthulhu ftagn! Ia! Ia! Mglui nafl, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 9:52, archived)
# I know you were,
so was I.

Twunt
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 9:53, archived)
# I knew that you knew
dumbo
(I helped save b3ta! thirdman Ia! Ia! R'lyeh Cthulhu ftagn! Ia! Ia! Mglui nafl, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 9:55, archived)
# I knew that.


I love you.
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 10:01, archived)
# You're only saying that to get me into bed
and where was my valentine's present, eh?
(I helped save b3ta! thirdman Ia! Ia! R'lyeh Cthulhu ftagn! Ia! Ia! Mglui nafl, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 10:03, archived)
#
Varies anywhere between 11-16...
(I helped save b3ta! thirdman Ia! Ia! R'lyeh Cthulhu ftagn! Ia! Ia! Mglui nafl, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 9:52, archived)
# Have you made a study?
Did you conduct a poll asking teenage boys when they started masturbating?
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 9:55, archived)
# Yes


/coat
(I helped save b3ta! thirdman Ia! Ia! R'lyeh Cthulhu ftagn! Ia! Ia! Mglui nafl, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 9:56, archived)
# Don't you have to be
a member of The Who to do that?
(I helped save b3ta! gfreeman is only here for the beer, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 9:57, archived)
# inches?
DAMN!
(I helped save b3ta! M@rkoni, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 9:55, archived)
# diameter
in inches, actualy
(I helped save b3ta! gracielou, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 9:57, archived)
# Blimey,
what a huge member that would be.

No, I'm not posting that comment.


Edit: Aw, fuck it.
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 9:59, archived)
# ouch
that is all
(I helped save b3ta! gracielou, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 10:02, archived)
# Yes.
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 10:07, archived)
# Here's 20p
use the phone to ring and tell someone who cares.


Harsh, I know.
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 9:27, archived)
# Nah,
I'll take your dosh straight to Mcdonalds for a 40 cent cone.
(BurningFeetMan, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 9:34, archived)
# Ignore my bitterness,
go for it mate.
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 9:35, archived)
# mini jack
gooood morning day shifters!


edit: what are the chances i can post my 1000th message on my 100th day?
(I helped save b3ta! SuperMatt, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 9:28, archived)
# good
moaning
(I helped save b3ta! butchbint, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 9:30, archived)
# morning
i'm slowly creeping towards 3000...
(I helped save b3ta! new_matt, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 9:34, archived)
# 3000 what?
Starving Ethiopians?
Dogs?
Hats?
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 9:36, archived)
# 3000 stone
i've been eating continuously for 14 months now and not moving. i havent' seen my feet since march last year
(I helped save b3ta! new_matt, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 9:37, archived)
# they're probably at the bottom of your legs.
They usually are.
(I helped save b3ta! Fat Boab of dailyreckless.com fame, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 9:39, archived)
# They don't exist anymore,
you are slowly turning into Jabba the Hutt.
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 9:39, archived)
# hheeelllllo
.
(I helped save b3ta! whizzbang, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 9:36, archived)
# aloha
not long to go now. It took me forever to get to 1000 and now I'm well into the 1400s. Maybe I should do some work occasionally.
(I helped save b3ta! butchbint, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 9:38, archived)
# it's over-rated
(I helped save b3ta! new_matt, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 9:40, archived)
# not
my work. grumble grumble...
(I helped save b3ta! butchbint, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 9:45, archived)
# Don't listen to those other bitter cunts
I congratulate you. Well done!

Checklist:

a) memorised compliments - hair, smell, clothes
b) clean socks
c) tic-tacs / smints (don't overdo it - laxative effect)
d) conversation topics - see a)

Go for it, tiger!
(I helped save b3ta! brainstuff can eat a whole shredded wheat, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 9:30, archived)
# you forgot
e) clean underpants (not y-fronts)
(I helped save b3ta! gracielou, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 9:32, archived)
# Its a first date!
you harlot

;)
(I helped save b3ta! thirdman Ia! Ia! R'lyeh Cthulhu ftagn! Ia! Ia! Mglui nafl, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 9:34, archived)
# my thoughts
exactly!
(I helped save b3ta! brainstuff can eat a whole shredded wheat, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 9:34, archived)
# stop
thinking about me being a harlot
(I helped save b3ta! gracielou, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 9:36, archived)
# true,
in that case
e) wear no pants
(I helped save b3ta! butchbint, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 9:36, archived)
# ahh... its the tricky one
wear y-fronts, and she'll want to fuck your brains out, but you can't drop your trousers or she will see them... wear boxers and nothing will happen at all... maybe you should try commando...
(I helped save b3ta! SuperMatt, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 9:34, archived)
# LMAO!
What about Briefs?
(BurningFeetMan, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 9:35, archived)
# it's not just me then
I've had exactly those thoughts
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 9:35, archived)
# I personally
think y-fronts are (marginally) better than the dreaded bikini brief. And tons better than the man thong, which should be banned. And no sparkles or cartoon characters either.
(I helped save b3ta! gracielou, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 9:38, archived)
# I have writen a poem about pants.
look.
You need to scroll down a bit.
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 9:41, archived)
# This is a test
is still my favorite.
short, sharp and to the point :)
(I helped save b3ta! mnb098mnb used to be here, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 9:43, archived)
# Bah!
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 9:43, archived)
# heh
the rest of them are good too :)
(I helped save b3ta! mnb098mnb used to be here, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 9:50, archived)
# ladies panties
are also an interesting choice =)
(I helped save b3ta! gracielou, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 9:43, archived)
# tho
she may get the wrong idea...
(I helped save b3ta! SuperMatt, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 9:44, archived)
# I would not
nor ever had, wear ladies panties.
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 9:45, archived)
# sure
I believe you
(I helped save b3ta! gracielou, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 9:47, archived)
# I shall make
no further protestations, for fear it would resolute my statement in people's minds...or some such.
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 9:48, archived)
# no need to be so defensive
I said I would belive you. Whatever you say. Uh huh.
(I helped save b3ta! gracielou, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 9:50, archived)
# You're
just making it worse now.
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 9:55, archived)
# Look,
I don't really care if you wear womens undergarmets or not. If you tell me you don't, then you don't. If you say that at this very moment you aren't wearing a red thong/bra dance set with a marabou boa draped fetchingly around your shoulders, then I'll agree.
(I helped save b3ta! gracielou, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 10:00, archived)
# Have you been
watching me through the curtains again?
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 10:25, archived)
# possibly
but you know you like it
(I helped save b3ta! gracielou, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 10:34, archived)
# Very Flashy.
(BurningFeetMan, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 9:43, archived)
# and apparently
f) nice new shoes

is very important. where *is* dr phil when you need her?
(I helped save b3ta! new_matt, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 9:38, archived)
# Leeds
(I helped save b3ta! thirdman Ia! Ia! R'lyeh Cthulhu ftagn! Ia! Ia! Mglui nafl, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 9:41, archived)
# I reckon
she's still in bed.
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 9:47, archived)
# Oi.
I'm not bitter.
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 9:33, archived)
# oh sorry
Lager shandy

;p
(I helped save b3ta! brainstuff can eat a whole shredded wheat, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 9:34, archived)
# me neither
just a little tart.
(I helped save b3ta! Fat Boab of dailyreckless.com fame, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 9:37, archived)
# maybe even
piquant :)
(I helped save b3ta! brainstuff can eat a whole shredded wheat, Mon 17 Feb 2003, 9:46, archived)