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# Innapropriate holiday gifts...

Merry Christmas Happy Chanukah!
(Virulent, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 14:22, archived)
# A stapler?
what do the jews have against staples?

Come to think of it I have never heard of Kosher paper clips either.
(I helped save b3ta! The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 14:23, archived)
# It's more expensive than Ryman



DE - RIS
(I helped save b3ta! Joliet, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 14:24, archived)
# I spend a lot of my life in stationary shops
so I understand this :)
(I helped save b3ta! The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 14:26, archived)
# I prefer shops on wheels
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 14:28, archived)
# They're called burger vans, fatso.
;-)

Only joking, you're about half my size anyway.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 14:31, archived)
# I haven't had a burger for years
I bet they still have that doesn't-really-taste-of-anything taste
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 14:32, archived)
# Not my burgers
well, my beefcakes. They've got bacon in.

Yes, in. And cheese. And onion. And garlic.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 14:33, archived)
# *noms*
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 14:33, archived)
# You're damn right, noms.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 14:34, archived)
# that's filthy,i'm hungry now and i've just had breakfast
(Fuckpig "That's not even a pound a midget.", Mon 15 Dec 2008, 14:34, archived)
# I'm a fucking genius in the kitchen
it's why I'm a tubster. Well fed and happy, though.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 14:35, archived)
# could i pay you to cook for me?
i am from a family of cooking-type people,but i really cannot be bothered ever.
(Fuckpig "That's not even a pound a midget.", Mon 15 Dec 2008, 14:37, archived)
# You very much could.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 14:38, archived)
# how much an hour?
(Fuckpig "That's not even a pound a midget.", Mon 15 Dec 2008, 14:40, archived)
# £18.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 14:41, archived)
# bargain
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 14:43, archived)
# It's less than my cheffly mate earns.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 14:44, archived)
# it's really easy though
you get some stuff and make it hot for a bit, then eat it
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 14:38, archived)
# that does not work with cornflakes D:
(Fuckpig "That's not even a pound a midget.", Mon 15 Dec 2008, 14:40, archived)
# Hehehe
Just checking.

I thought I'd explain it for the hard of thinking and save their R, I and S keys from the strain :OD
(I helped save b3ta! Joliet, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 14:28, archived)
# The pork sarnie van parked in the car park?



(I helped save b3ta! Mstandot I suppose I should post more often., Mon 15 Dec 2008, 14:24, archived)
# ...
what do the jews have against staples Hitler?
(Virulent, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 14:24, archived)
# Quite a grudge I imagine....
(I helped save b3ta! The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 14:26, archived)
# he did commit quite the faux-pas
(Fuckpig "That's not even a pound a midget.", Mon 15 Dec 2008, 14:28, archived)
# He's certainly not on their Christmas card list
(I helped save b3ta! The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 14:28, archived)
# mainly because they don't celebrate christmas
you great steaming nit
(Fuckpig "That's not even a pound a midget.", Mon 15 Dec 2008, 14:29, archived)
# Why? hmm, it's not like they killed Je.......
oh I see
(I helped save b3ta! The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 14:30, archived)
# yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees
-looks at soup plate to hide red face-
this is such a terrible dinner party
(Fuckpig "That's not even a pound a midget.", Mon 15 Dec 2008, 14:32, archived)
# DINNER PARTY!!!!
This is a wake! That's why everyone looked at you funny when you said that you were "dying for a stiff drink"
(I helped save b3ta! The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 14:34, archived)
# i still am dying for a stiff...drink!
this is the worst party doctor crippen's ever thrown.
hm,this salad tastes of strychnine
(Fuckpig "That's not even a pound a midget.", Mon 15 Dec 2008, 14:39, archived)
# Chortle...
Must remember to refer to the holocaust as a faux-pas at the first oppertunity!
(Virulent, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 14:29, archived)
# like the crusades
catholic faux-pas at its best.
(Fuckpig "That's not even a pound a midget.", Mon 15 Dec 2008, 14:31, archived)
# It was decades ago, get over it, already!
"Oh Mrs. Hitler... Why your son turn out so bad?"

*gets coat*
(Virulent, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 14:28, archived)
# Do you have irrational problems with the French?
It was decades centuries ago, get over it!
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 14:31, archived)
# and the scots,it was ages ago!
and the welsh,it was ages ago!
and the irish,it was ages ago!
repeat ad nauseum
(Fuckpig "That's not even a pound a midget.", Mon 15 Dec 2008, 14:33, archived)
# and the muslims, it wa...
oh wait now
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 14:33, archived)
# it was three years ago,get over it!
(Fuckpig "That's not even a pound a midget.", Mon 15 Dec 2008, 14:36, archived)
# *stabs*
it was a minute ago, get over it!

I'm going to start judt saying 'bygones' lik,e Fish out of Ally McBeal.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 14:38, archived)
# I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were married.
Dunno.
(I helped save b3ta! fannycradock, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 14:28, archived)
# what's going on here?
what what what what?
(Fuckpig "That's not even a pound a midget.", Mon 15 Dec 2008, 14:24, archived)
# is it not suppose to be known by men
that these are hair straightners?
oih oih oih!
(duketh *raises rifle* everyone loves muffins!!!!!!, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 14:25, archived)
# but that...that...that...buh...
oh.
-weeps-
(Fuckpig "That's not even a pound a midget.", Mon 15 Dec 2008, 14:26, archived)
# Oi-vay.
(nom_nom_nom, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 14:24, archived)
# It's a good job its not a gillette Mach 3/Sensor Excel gift set
The sixty third Jewish commandment is "Thou shall not shave with a razor".

True story.
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 14:27, archived)
# they have more than ten?
fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck
(Fuckpig "That's not even a pound a midget.", Mon 15 Dec 2008, 14:28, archived)
# They have over 600
(and i got it wrong, it's the sixty-ninth commandment).
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 14:29, archived)
#
fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck
(Fuckpig "That's not even a pound a midget.", Mon 15 Dec 2008, 14:30, archived)
# Some of them are a bit repetitive
Thou shall not hate other Jews.
Thou shall love other Jews.
Thou shall not hate Jewish converts.
Thou shall love jewish converts...
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 14:32, archived)
# that's the Talmud
written by twats with beards
(I helped save b3ta! MontyyouterribleCUNT I gave Jeremy Kyle cancer, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 14:31, archived)
# *Gasps*
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 14:33, archived)
# He's allowed.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 14:39, archived)
# *Exhales*
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 14:40, archived)
# Who stand around shouting at walls.
(I helped save b3ta! Brandy_Bumwinkle, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 14:34, archived)
# really?
what they gonna shave with? a tennis ball?
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 14:28, archived)
# Nothing.
Just trim with scissors.
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 14:30, archived)
# hair straightener?
woo :)
(I helped save b3ta! inexpressible started a joke on, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 14:31, archived)
# Ross the intern FTW.
(I helped save b3ta! HairyTwatter certified eel and sodium salesman, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 15:33, archived)