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# Looks like Gordon has been using the BBC's mortgage calculator again.




On an unrelated note - anyone want to rent an apartment for $480 a month?
consumerist.com/5130759/worst-apartment-rental-ad-ever

Sounds like a laid back type of guy
(I helped save b3ta! WOLF .™, Wed 14 Jan 2009, 10:19, archived)
# But can I consolidate all my economic downturns
into one manageable credit crunch?
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 14 Jan 2009, 10:20, archived)
# wish my credit would crunch
(I helped save b3ta! Frumbert has no sig, Wed 14 Jan 2009, 10:45, archived)
# Superb, sir
and that Ad is beyond belief (no pun intended).
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 14 Jan 2009, 10:21, archived)
# I like the part about searching visitors cars..........
odd odd
(I helped save b3ta! WOLF .™, Wed 14 Jan 2009, 10:22, archived)
# This is why I'm glad I'm in Norfolk, we can barter for goods instead of this new fangled money.
1 daughter's virginity = bread and cheese for a week
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Wed 14 Jan 2009, 10:22, archived)
# presumably, many fathers in norfolk starve.
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Wed 14 Jan 2009, 10:24, archived)
# You have children, Archie?
*wasn't aware they made little smoking jackets for toddlers*


Yes. In my mind, Archie and all his family all wear smoking jackets, smoke those big pipes like Sherlock Holmes and spend most of their day in the library reading Dostoevsky and drinking brandy
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 14 Jan 2009, 10:24, archived)
# Nope, no kids just yet :)
and only the one smoking jacket ;)
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Wed 14 Jan 2009, 10:25, archived)
# I really do hope you've got one of those matching hats.
You know, the ones with the tassles hanging off that are like little silky soft fezzes. Fezzes? Fez?

The mental picture of this is stunning.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 14 Jan 2009, 10:27, archived)
# Fezii.
(I helped save b3ta! An Eagle in Your Mind, Wed 14 Jan 2009, 10:28, archived)
# One fez, two fezzes, many fezzezizzlae, all the fezzelizzlapods.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 14 Jan 2009, 10:32, archived)
# I hang glide. He / she hang glid. They hang glid...ededed.
(I helped save b3ta! An Eagle in Your Mind, Wed 14 Jan 2009, 10:35, archived)
# *and then proceeds to fall off chair laughing*
:D
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 14 Jan 2009, 10:37, archived)
# According to dictionary.com it's fezzes
but I think it should just be fez, like sheep and fish.
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Wed 14 Jan 2009, 10:34, archived)
# Fezzes like sheep and fish?
What is this madness?

have you asked them?
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 14 Jan 2009, 10:35, archived)
# Not all of them no,
but a random sample
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Wed 14 Jan 2009, 10:35, archived)
# out of 240 Fezzes tested
193 preferred Kit-e-Kat with tuna chunks.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 14 Jan 2009, 10:37, archived)
# I agree with this.
Together we can make it happen. Petitions usually work, don't they? Of course they do.
(I helped save b3ta! An Eagle in Your Mind, Wed 14 Jan 2009, 10:36, archived)
# I believe there's a picture of Mictoboy in one of those circling around somewhere
sadly no, hats are not for me. But I have a pocket watch if that suffices
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Wed 14 Jan 2009, 10:29, archived)
# Only if you swing it around like a stripper
and waggle your eyebrows.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 14 Jan 2009, 10:31, archived)
# Now, *this* I would pay to see.
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 14 Jan 2009, 10:34, archived)
# The Amazing Archie's All-Architect Allure Act
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 14 Jan 2009, 10:36, archived)
# INT: TGA's LIBRARY NOON, The family are reclining in leather armchairs reading.
there is silence apart from the gentle rustle of pages.

ENTER Gruntfuttock, TGA's aging retainer

Grntftck: Lord Architect, there is a Buxom, Redheaded urchin of disreputable aspect at the door carrying a whip and large cucumber, she claims she was summoned.

TGA: Ah yes, the good Captain, send her through to the back bedroom, the family will be joining her there. Refreshments at 2 please Gruntfuttock, wear the blindfold as usual.
(I helped save b3ta! chenobble rocking his explorer beard on, Wed 14 Jan 2009, 10:34, archived)
# Aging?
How very dare you, sir...

Why I may even....



;-)

(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 14 Jan 2009, 10:36, archived)
# Is a vintage flounce
where you accuse me of being both a cad and a bounder.

And possibly a misbegotten rogue.
(I helped save b3ta! chenobble rocking his explorer beard on, Wed 14 Jan 2009, 10:41, archived)
# Oh, I should think so.
It may even require calling you a footpad and a ne'er-do-well also..

;-)
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 14 Jan 2009, 10:45, archived)
# excellent
though if you bite your thumb at me I shall be most irked.
(I helped save b3ta! chenobble rocking his explorer beard on, Wed 14 Jan 2009, 10:47, archived)
# Well, I shall refrain from doing so, in that case.
:)
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 14 Jan 2009, 10:49, archived)
# Aging retainer?
He's not Scrotum!
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 14 Jan 2009, 10:37, archived)
# I *so* mis-read that.
;-)
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 14 Jan 2009, 10:38, archived)
# As in your name is not.
Of course I am expecting that you have access to one, should the need arise.

Er....yes.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 14 Jan 2009, 10:39, archived)
# Quite.
*goes rather red*
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 14 Jan 2009, 10:40, archived)
# I luffs Round the Horne
As I recall I first discovered it in a layby on the Ballspond Road.

It was covered in verdigrees.
(I helped save b3ta! chenobble rocking his explorer beard on, Wed 14 Jan 2009, 10:39, archived)
# Ohhhhhhh, I was referring to Sir Henry at Rawlinson's End....
edit: Buxom, red-headed urchin is a lovely way to describe me. Thank you!
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 14 Jan 2009, 10:40, archived)
# I was sure there was a scrotum the butler in Round the Horne...
maybe I was mistaken.

There is a distinct lack of RTH reference materials online. This should be addressed.
(I helped save b3ta! chenobble rocking his explorer beard on, Wed 14 Jan 2009, 10:43, archived)
# There may well have been
it's a damn good name for a butler.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 14 Jan 2009, 10:44, archived)
# I was particularly proud of the
'...of disreputable aspect' it is such a vague yet damning phrase.
(I helped save b3ta! chenobble rocking his explorer beard on, Wed 14 Jan 2009, 10:45, archived)
# To be fair
it's best to be vague about my disreputability (is that a word?) before the watershed.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 14 Jan 2009, 10:46, archived)
# Ah yes, old Scrotum, the wrinkled retainer.
*recites in head*
I don't remember you quoting from it before, but somehow the fact that you wot of Rawlinson's End drops into place like a jigsaw piece in the jigsaw of the universe.
(I helped save b3ta! Bee Nice |-|, Wed 14 Jan 2009, 10:54, archived)
# Hahaha
Gruntfuttock is a great name for a butler
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Wed 14 Jan 2009, 10:37, archived)
# :D
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 14 Jan 2009, 10:39, archived)
# are you any good at buttling?
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Wed 14 Jan 2009, 10:39, archived)
# I can buttle with the best of 'em
I'll have you know, sir.

/Silver Service trained blog
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 14 Jan 2009, 10:41, archived)
# He won't let girls carry things/open doors etc.
I have never met a more gentlemanly gentleman than our own Mr Gruntfuttock.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 14 Jan 2009, 10:41, archived)
# bless you, pickle...
*hugs*
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 14 Jan 2009, 10:44, archived)
# It's all true
you treated me like a proper lady, it was a lovely change from the usual.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 14 Jan 2009, 10:45, archived)
# I was charged with your care and protection
for the dangerous trip to Derby, and was happy to be of service, ma'am.

*bows*
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 14 Jan 2009, 10:47, archived)
# *claps wildly and throws roses*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 14 Jan 2009, 10:49, archived)
# girls not to carry things?
like clothing?


something very large is happening outside my flat

*investigates*
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Wed 14 Jan 2009, 10:44, archived)
# o_O
I hope it's a giant marshmallow man?
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Wed 14 Jan 2009, 10:48, archived)
# I think it was fog
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Wed 14 Jan 2009, 10:50, archived)
# I've never been so let down in my entire life
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Wed 14 Jan 2009, 10:51, archived)
# Oh Nibes, you're like a gorgeous little conundrum.
What ARE you talking about?
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 14 Jan 2009, 10:48, archived)
# there was a big noise
like that time with the landslide

but it turned out to be fog
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Wed 14 Jan 2009, 10:52, archived)
# But of course.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 14 Jan 2009, 10:54, archived)
# Bastards!
I had to leave the office as I couldn't hold in the stifled laughter any more!

My colleagues thought I was having a fit!
(I helped save b3ta! Joliet, Wed 14 Jan 2009, 10:41, archived)
# next time you read something funny
remember not to read it

then nobody will try and give you the Heimlich manoeuvre
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Wed 14 Jan 2009, 10:49, archived)
# I'd better stock up on daughters, then...
I like me cheese, I do. (Gromit)

*pokes with stick* How are you, sir?
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 14 Jan 2009, 10:25, archived)
# Not too bad thanks squire, can't complain
Hope same can be said for you
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Wed 14 Jan 2009, 10:26, archived)
# The Embalmer said everything seems to be in order,
so yes, thanks.
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 14 Jan 2009, 10:27, archived)
# I didn't know you needed to embalm them to bury them under the patio ;)
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Wed 14 Jan 2009, 10:28, archived)
# hehe - the embalming is for me
;-)

Edit: as in
Q: "How are you keeping?"
A: "Embalming Fluid"
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 14 Jan 2009, 10:32, archived)
# ahhhhhh
*guffaws again*
(I helped save b3ta! Bee Nice |-|, Wed 14 Jan 2009, 10:58, archived)
# I can confirm that this method is still in operation in Somerset, also.
And right along the Unmistakable Diagonal of Yokel™ (UDoY) that starts at Bodmin and ends at Cromer.
(I helped save b3ta! An Eagle in Your Mind, Wed 14 Jan 2009, 10:28, archived)
# Come to Cromer and catch crabs!
/it's a sh*thole
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Wed 14 Jan 2009, 10:28, archived)
# Hahaha
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Wed 14 Jan 2009, 10:34, archived)
# I've been there. It was alright, I thought.
Well, my then girlfriend's uncle was getting married, so maybe I'm just wearing canape tinted glasses about the whole affair.
(I helped save b3ta! An Eagle in Your Mind, Wed 14 Jan 2009, 10:38, archived)
# was it a 'local' Norfolk wedding?
/ie: all the congregation sat on the same side of the church?
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Wed 14 Jan 2009, 10:47, archived)
# The same guy walked the bride down the aisle and back up again...?
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Wed 14 Jan 2009, 10:50, archived)
# Awesome!
I need to open both a bakery and a... a... cheesery in norfolk.


I should probably check out the daughters in question first though.
(I helped save b3ta! SubCulture Hero ... ... He... .... Comes ... ...., Wed 14 Jan 2009, 11:54, archived)
# hahahhaha, top :D
damn, that link - sounds like a prison..... :S
(I helped save b3ta! theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Wed 14 Jan 2009, 10:24, archived)
# Well at least the rent is cheap...
The landlord is so repressed one day he's just going to break down and sex EVERYTHING EVER.

Edit: also Arf! to the pic :)
(I helped save b3ta! Fishcat Difficult difficult lemon difficult., Wed 14 Jan 2009, 10:25, archived)
# wow, just read that article
Was that advert placed by Fritzl?
(I helped save b3ta! Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Wed 14 Jan 2009, 10:27, archived)