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# Ìàãèÿ VooDoo
ß âîîáùå íèêîãäà íå âåðèëà â ñàìûå íåïðàâäîïîäîáíûå êîëäîâñêèå ñîáûòèÿ, ïðåæäå âñåãî òîãäà, êîãäà êòî-òî èç çíàêîìûõ ïûòàëñÿ óâåðèòü, ÷òî íà ìîþ äóøó íàâåäåíî êàêîå-íèáóäü ñèëüíîå çàêëèíàíèå èëè ïîð÷à. Òåì íå ìåíåå âñåãî-íàâñåãî ïî÷òè ìåñÿö íàçàä ìû ñ ìîåé ïîäðóãîé ðåøèëè ðàäè èíòåðåñà ïîåõàòü ê áàáóøêå-ãàäàëêå. Ìåíÿ, ñîáñòâåííîãî ãîâîðÿ âçÿëè òóäà ê êîëäóíüå ïðîñòî çà êîìïàíèþ. Íó ÷òî æ - ïðèêèíóëà ÿ - ïðèøëà ìîÿ î÷åðåäü ïîáûâàòü ó ãàäàëêè.
Êîãäà ìû ïîïàëè ê ÿñíîâèäÿùåé, áàáóøêà ìãíîâåííî ïîäîøëà êî ìíå ñ òàêèìè ñåðüåçíûìè ñëîâàìè: 'Îé, äî÷åíüêà, íå äàíî ïðîæèòü òåáå áîëüøå ìåñÿöà íà áåëîì ñâåòå...'. Ñàìî ñîáîé ðàçóìååòñÿ, ÷òî êðîìå óëûáêè ó ìåíÿ ó ìåíÿ ýòî óâåðåíèå íå âûçâàëî. Òåì âðåìåíåì áàáóøêà ïðîäîëæèëà ñâîå íåâåñåëîå ïîâåñòâîâàíèå: 'Íàêîëäîâàëè íà òåáÿ
ñàìîå çëîå ïðîêëÿòüå - äóøà ó òåáÿ óæå ïî ïðàâäå îäíîé íîãîé íà òîì ñâåòå... è æèçíåííûé ðîä ñâîé òû óæå íå ñìîæåøü ðàçâèòü èç-çà òîãî æå...'. Íà ñàìîì äåëå âðà÷è ìíå óæå ïî÷òè 3 ãîäà òîìó íàçàä ðàññêàçàëè î òîì, ÷òî ÿ íèêîãäà íå ñìîãó ðîäèòü, îäíàêî êàê âñå-òàêè êàêèì îáðàçîì ÿñíîâèäèöà óçíàëà îá ýòîì - âñå-òàêè ÿ äåðæàëà ýòî â ñåêðåòå è íè êîìó, íè ìàìå, íè ïàïå, íè áëèçêèì ïîäðóãàì íå ðàññêàçàëà î ñâîåé ïðîáëåìå.
Ïîñëå ýòèõ ñëîâ ãàäàëêà âçÿëà êàêóþ-òî ñòðàííóþ êíèãó, îòêðûëà å¸ è ñîâåðøèëà êàêîé-òî íåïîíÿòíûé ðèòóàë. Ïîñëå âñåãî ýòîãî îáðàòèëà íà íàñ ñâîé âçãëÿä è ðàññêàçàëà, ÷òî òðàäèöèîííî íåîáõîäèìî ïðèíåñòè æåðòâåííîå ïðèíîøåíèå. ß íå äîëãî äóìàÿ, ðåøèëà áûñòðî ðåòèðîâàòüñÿ è ìû ñ ïîäðóãîé óøëè îò ñòàðóõè, íå äîâåäÿ äî ëîãè÷åñêîãî çàâåðøåíèÿ äèàëîãà.
Áîëüøåãî íè÷åãî îáîñíîâàííîãî è ïðàâäîïîäîáíîãî ñòàðóøêà íå ñêàçàëà - êàê âû äóìàåòå, íåîáõîäèìî ëè ìíå âåðèòü åå ðàññêàçó?
(beepGramb, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 21:55, archived)
# compo it!
(I helped save b3ta! dogigniter - Saving the world one turkey ham wrap at a time -, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 21:56, archived)
# Mindpiss it!
:)
(I helped save b3ta! DogHorse plop, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 21:56, archived)
# bop it, pull it
twist it!
(I helped save b3ta! dogigniter - Saving the world one turkey ham wrap at a time -, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 21:58, archived)
# Who do you think you are?
(I helped save b3ta! DogHorse plop, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 21:59, archived)
# jeff?
not sure.. you?
(I helped save b3ta! dogigniter - Saving the world one turkey ham wrap at a time -, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 22:02, archived)
# Ah.
I was singing the Spice Girls' smash hit.

I'm Tim. Nice to meet you.
(I helped save b3ta! DogHorse plop, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 22:03, archived)
# i'm actually Neil
but never mind

(notice we both have dog in our name wow lol rofl [or something])
(I helped save b3ta! dogigniter - Saving the world one turkey ham wrap at a time -, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 22:05, archived)
# wooo fp this now!!!!!
(I helped save b3ta! skeltonator Needs some new daps., Wed 11 Feb 2009, 21:56, archived)
# Compo it!
(I helped save b3ta! DogHorse plop, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 21:56, archived)
# ris
(I helped save b3ta! god save the queen making another unremarkable comeback, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 21:56, archived)
# Old Mac Donald had a Spam.....ãàîîîââîîîõõ
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 21:57, archived)
# Excellentest reply !
(I helped save b3ta! Valin I changed glasses while I wasn't looking, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 21:59, archived)
# How are you going to spam your Russian brides with no links?
(I helped save b3ta! setimret likes his metaphors mixed, not stirred, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 21:57, archived)
# DO YOU SELL PHENTERMINE? IF NOT THEN PISS OFF!
(I helped save b3ta! BargeArse Maker of fine Trouser Trumpets since 1863, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 21:57, archived)
# That's easy for you to say!
(I helped save b3ta! Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 11 Feb 2009, 21:57, archived)
# INVISIBLE CUNT!
(I helped save b3ta! McBadger COW, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 21:59, archived)
# Ah, I know
Canon, Nikon and all the other fiendish photographic cunts just increased their prices across the board by 37%, as of yesterday

THE SCUM
(I helped save b3ta! Jahled Three shades of black, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 21:59, archived)
# Free translation
I in general never trusted in the most improbable magical events, first of all when someone from friends tried to assure, that any strong spell or damage is induced at my soul. Nevertheless only almost one month ago we with my girlfriend have decided to go for the sake of interest to the grandmother-fortuneteller. Me, own speaking have taken there to колдунье simply for the company. Well - I have estimated - my turn at the fortuneteller has come to visit.
When we have got to ясновидящей, the grandmother instantly подошл
(I helped save b3ta! SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 22:00, archived)
# Thank you for the Babel !
(I helped save b3ta! Valin I changed glasses while I wasn't looking, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 22:02, archived)
#


(I helped save b3ta! Kallus speaks for the Spores, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 22:02, archived)
# Spore by Spore !
Or . . . Spore X Spore = 16
(I helped save b3ta! Valin I changed glasses while I wasn't looking, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 22:04, archived)
# Spore by Spree = 12, Shirley?
(I helped save b3ta! DogHorse plop, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 22:05, archived)
# =TACO
(I helped save b3ta! Kallus speaks for the Spores, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 22:05, archived)
# You are one day late
I waited all night for you last night. In vain.
I bought my spam, Russian brides, Viagra and pr0n elsewhere.
*huffs*
(I helped save b3ta! Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 22:05, archived)
# Ìàãèÿ VooDoo?
where can I get some Ìàãèÿ VooDoo?
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Wed 11 Feb 2009, 22:07, archived)
# Who doo?
(I helped save b3ta! DogHorse plop, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 22:07, archived)
# FAST FOOD DOGS.
(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 11 Feb 2009, 22:07, archived)
# BANNAGE = DONE
Haven't got the Russian character set on this machine - does this look like spam to you lot?
(I helped save b3ta! Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 22:07, archived)
# It would
if it had any links in it, I guess.

Inept spam, I think.
(I helped save b3ta! DogHorse plop, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 22:11, archived)