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# That bird has a look of 'Stuff me and die'
(Mrs Trellis GIN, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 16:37, archived)
# that's the first line
of my best man's speech
(I helped save b3ta! twig Save 6 Music, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 16:39, archived)
# The first line of my Best man's speech was:
"I'm sure you'll agree it's been a very emotional day for everyone concerned, and as you can see, even the cake is in tiers"
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 16:40, archived)
# *spang*
(Mrs Trellis GIN, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 16:41, archived)
# It went down quite well :)
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 16:41, archived)
# Please tell me you aren't referring to the bride
(Mrs Trellis GIN, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 16:43, archived)
# *coughs*
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 16:47, archived)
# office lol!
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 16:42, archived)
# !
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 16:42, archived)
# I went on:
"Picture if you will tomorrow morning, the morning after this wonderful day.
XXXXX will wake up next to Mrs. XXXXXX and ring up to order breakfast.
For himself he'll order the full english breakfast: Bacon, Sausage, Fried Bread, Eggs, Tomatos, Mushrooms, Hash Browns, served with a huge mug of Tea.
Looking down at his newlywed wife, he'll just ask for a single Carrot for her.
When asked on the other end of the phone why just a single carrot for his wife, he'll answer ' I want to see if she eats like a rabbit as well'..."
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 16:45, archived)
# I remember virtually nothing of his best man's speech
Except wishing it would be brief
(Mrs Trellis GIN, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 16:48, archived)
# I only knew about 5 people in the room
there were 130 guests. Using that gag above took balls of steel. Was quite a good experience though, I've since written a few more
for mates etc, as it is a nerve racking thing!
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 16:49, archived)
# Heh, I bet!
(Mrs Trellis GIN, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 16:50, archived)
# Are you here all week, and
Should I try the veal?

;-)
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 16:51, archived)
# It's 'veal-ly' good!
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 16:52, archived)
# "yes, it's a sort Chino-Scandinavian Import...
too many air-pockets, and anyway, it's off"
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 16:55, archived)
# o_O
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 16:53, archived)
# Hells bells
did that one go off ok????
(I helped save b3ta! The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 17:30, archived)
# can I pass that off as my own?
or do you want to sig my forehead?
(I helped save b3ta! twig Save 6 Music, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 16:43, archived)
# hahaha, it's a great way to start, as everyone groans, and chuckles
from then on, it's easy. They'll all go away and use that gag then
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 16:47, archived)
# My favorite that I've actually been present for is:
*best man gets out cue-cards*
I'm giving this speech on this wonderful day at the request of a very good friend of mine and yours. A close, reliable friend, a wonderful example to us all, a morally upstanding, highly intellectual, and thoroughly nice chap. To top it all off he's 3 times world motor racing champion..."
*look of confusion*
*drops cards, takes out smaller pile*
"sorry about the mix up, this is a rented tux."
"Steve's a bastard, but he's my mate. Let's drink".
(I helped save b3ta! Mockingbird Practitioner of SCIENCE, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 16:53, archived)
# hahaha, that's great :)
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 16:55, archived)
# Heh, just remembered a bit of ours
'Mr & Mrs Trellis gave me a list of things they'd rather I didn't talk about today'
*bends down, retrieves huge roll of paper from under the table, unrolls*
'Aubergines, foreign bodies, that money he owes me....' (etc etc)
(Mrs Trellis GIN, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 16:56, archived)
# Video plskthx
(Mrs Trellis GIN, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 16:41, archived)
# Pretty much what happened to the plane.
*this reply was rewritten several times to avoid smutty-ness.
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 16:41, archived)
# I want all the other versions
(Mrs Trellis GIN, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 16:41, archived)
# I bet you do!
I'm so sorry, I don't know what's wrong with me today.
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 16:42, archived)
# Clue glee probably :)
(Mrs Trellis GIN, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 16:44, archived)
# You could well be right...
\o/
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 16:45, archived)
# So come on
Resmuttify please
(Mrs Trellis GIN, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 16:53, archived)
# *blushes*
I can't now. the moment has past*


*story of my bloody life :D
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 16:57, archived)
# In future, go with your first instinct :D
(Mrs Trellis GIN, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 16:58, archived)
# Mass Murder?
Oh, alright then.

*breaks out the sniper rifle and heads for the clock tower*
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 17:03, archived)
# *runsandhides*
(Mrs Trellis GIN, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 17:05, archived)
# Don't they all?
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 16:41, archived)
# I believe
he figured he'd be safe in Hamsterdam.
(trnk loves a pun, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 16:42, archived)