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# 'So excuse me while I slap on a plastic smile and drag myself through this shit one more time ... '


CFB
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 9:48, archived)
# \o/
Why is it always Bill Hicks in your posts?
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 9:51, archived)
# Why does it always rain on me
(I helped save b3ta! Floppy Donkey crawled out of the ditch., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 9:53, archived)
# Cos you touch yourself at night
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 9:55, archived)
# lol
(I helped save b3ta! Floppy Donkey crawled out of the ditch., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 9:56, archived)
# No, he meant it.
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 9:57, archived)
# *dies a little inside*
(I helped save b3ta! Floppy Donkey crawled out of the ditch., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:01, archived)
# Yeah, that's another side-effect.
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:02, archived)
# That explains that strange hollow feeling I have
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:06, archived)
# also
you're partially made of dust
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:07, archived)
# You are excused.
Ooooh, I have a new desk. I've covered it in shite already.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 9:53, archived)
# Why did you shit on his desk?
(I helped save b3ta! Floppy Donkey crawled out of the ditch., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 9:55, archived)
# is it one of those desks where you can see everyone but they can't see what you're doing?
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 9:56, archived)
# Quite the other way around, unfortunately.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 9:57, archived)
# You can come and share my office.
It's got blinds and everything.....


;-)

Edit: *HHHHHHHUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGSSSSSSSSS*
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 9:58, archived)
# *procures telescope*
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 9:59, archived)
# Ooooooooooh, if only.
You STILL need a PA. *huuuuuuuuuuuuuugs*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:00, archived)
# Right Ms Wow,
We need to organise that Bobbins Conference for all the fucktards in the Munich office, take a letter, would you?
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:02, archived)
# Hang on
*runs downstairs, beats shit out of postman, steals letter*


Here.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:03, archived)
# and, spookily, it's addressed to you
....!

*bear hugs*

morning misses.
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:05, archived)
# Excellent work.
I think it's time for lunch. Get your coat, love - you've pulled...

*hugs*
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:05, archived)
# :D
God, stress a go go today at work. All go kaput. Captain arg. CIGGY TIME.

*stomps off*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:16, archived)
# *lends whatever support is possible*
*decides the truss isn't a good idea*
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:19, archived)
# "...what is he working on in there?"
"I don't know sir, but we think it's going to revolutionise something about the way we think about something today...!"
"what a guy!"
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:06, archived)
# is that
Vagabond's next plot?
(I helped save b3ta! twig Save 6 Music, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:11, archived)
# it could be - if he plays his cards right...
it's partially stolen from Red Dwarf though - I'm not sure how people feel about that
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:13, archived)
# Feel about Red Dwarf?
Well, they sure as shit shouldn't have made those new episodes that went out over last weekend. That was a Bad Idea.
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:48, archived)
# bugger
I had a desk like that at the big red X company, so I fitted wing mirrors to my monitor
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 9:59, archived)
# Now there's a bloody good idea.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:00, archived)
# it is
funny - people ended up thinking I was watching them, so they started avoiding me

I had flash cards for the rest, they said:
YES
NO
I DELETED IT
and
I LIKE YOUR HAIR
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:03, archived)
# You're hired!
;)
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:07, archived)
# \o/
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:08, archived)
# "Yeah so anyway I thought well I like cheesecakes so I figured I'd get a job driving a cheesecake truck and they said 'Can you drive?' and I said 'Yes.'and they said 'You're hired!'"
Thanks for all the loffly loffly comments, every peeps!

I'm currently flicking between this and trying to figure out what the bloody hell's going on, so forgive me for not replying to each and every one of you personally with a kiss.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:16, archived)
#
So then I got this idea about driving a cheesecake truck,
cuz I figured at the end of the day,
I could take some of the leftover cheesecakes home.
And I love cheesecake.

So I went to the cheesecake company
and they asked me if I could drive a truck and I said yes,
and they said 'You're hired!'

So the next day I got in the truck with all the cheesecakes
and I drove about a block and I just had to have a cheesecake
so I pulled over and opened the truck
and I got a cheesecake, and I also took one for later,
and I took one for my friend Farmboy,
and I took one to bring home,
and by that time I had eaten one of the cheesecakes
so I took another one.

Then I figured I might as well stop at my house
to drop off all the cheesecakes,
so I take five cakes to eat on the way,
and I drive another block and a half to my house.

Now it's lunch time so I eat ten cheesecakes,
and a cheesecake for dessert.
I should point out, by the way,
that all of these cheesecakes were very delicious.

Anyway, I decided that the only thing to do
would be to eat all the rest of the cheesecakes
and hide the truck somewhere
and leave town.

And I miss everybody a lot
but I'm not really sorry
because they were very delicious cheesecakes.
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:19, archived)
# :D
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:25, archived)
# I had one until abou six months ago
now I have my monitor facing a corner that only I inhabit. Hence b3ta, kongregate etc.
(I helped save b3ta! M3rx likes the Asian ladies, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:02, archived)
# hurrah!
I had one at the company I just left - but then their only internet usage policy was "just don't download any porn"
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:04, archived)
# that's the opposite
to my internet usage policy
(I helped save b3ta! twig Save 6 Music, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:06, archived)
# ha ha ha
morning Sir - how are ya?
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:10, archived)
# 'ning
no work to do as the guy training us has had babysitting problems and isnt here, how's your good self?
(I helped save b3ta! twig Save 6 Music, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:13, archived)
# I've got loads to do
:P

sux...

aside from that - not bad at all many thanks.
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:14, archived)
# bloody irish
guy won't stop talking
(I helped save b3ta! twig Save 6 Music, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:18, archived)
# this
www.thinkgeek.com/computing/accessories/2940/
(I helped save b3ta! pzyko Query failed., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:05, archived)
# this
www.thinkgeek.com/geektoys/japanfan/b625/
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:14, archived)
# *gleeeee*
www.thinkgeek.com/geektoys/japanfan/8823/
(I helped save b3ta! pzyko Query failed., Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:17, archived)
# I have one of those
which is why I'm on b3ta right now *high fives*
(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 9:58, archived)
# by 'desk' do you mean
the big bush in the park by the swings?
(I helped save b3ta! twig Save 6 Music, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 9:58, archived)
# *rustles raincoat*
no
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:05, archived)
# who's Russell
and why do you have his raincoat?
(I helped save b3ta! twig Save 6 Music, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:07, archived)
# I'm holding it for him while he gets permission from his mum
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:07, archived)
# you're a good friend
Russell's a lucky boy
(I helped save b3ta! twig Save 6 Music, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:14, archived)
# It's not a real desk unless it is covered in mess
Hello lovely

Hows you?
(I helped save b3ta! Duke Otterby you pre-verts, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 9:57, archived)
# In answer to your question:
Souk Medina.
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 9:57, archived)
# *writes down*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:01, archived)
# Thank you sir, was it in soho?
I wish i was back there with you guys, instead of at work
(I helped save b3ta! Duke Otterby you pre-verts, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:02, archived)
# Seven Dials, sir
In der naher von Covent Garden. T'other side of Cambridge Circus.
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:04, archived)
# *notes down*
Getting an oyster card, coming up to london a bit more often
(I helped save b3ta! Duke Otterby you pre-verts, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:23, archived)
# *brandishes tea* I am with tea
and stressed to buggery. You?
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 9:57, archived)
# Withdrawls from my happy pill, as i forgot to take it last night. So feel shit
I'm going to get some strong black coffee.

*hugs to destress you*
(I helped save b3ta! Duke Otterby you pre-verts, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:00, archived)
# Aw, thanks lovely.
I've only forgotten one pill in two months, which is good for me.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:01, archived)
# Bit worse on these, as they are so strong
Feels like someone is trying to suck my brain and eyes out with an industrial hoover
(I helped save b3ta! Duke Otterby you pre-verts, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:04, archived)
# Mice,
They're just fag rats.
(I helped save b3ta! Brandy_Bumwinkle, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 9:55, archived)
# pfffft....
watched that last night.
Apart from the stuff about the record, I thought it was possibly the weakest one so far.
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 9:56, archived)
# I've enjoyed them all loads
I rather liked the bit at the end about Kevin's apple shop...
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:03, archived)
# I thought it was funny until it went nuts at the end
...even Catherine tate wouldn't let a sketch run on that long
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:08, archived)
# Why...

* Just "WHY?", OK!
(I helped save b3ta! Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 9:57, archived)
# Are you inside a space ship?
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:01, archived)
# May I enquire as to the persistence of precipitation within
your digital representations?
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:13, archived)
# I want to see what happens when everyone in a city quits their jobs at the same time
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:16, archived)
# MILD CHAOS
happy b3taday
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:19, archived)
# There'd be a tremendous shortage of cardboard boxes and comfort chocolate
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:21, archived)
# And adjustable spanners, too.
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:26, archived)
# How so?
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:28, archived)
# To help with fine-tuning the chocolate, of course!
Do keep up, sir.
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:31, archived)
# Gah!
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:39, archived)
# why is it always so full of WOO in your pictures?
:D
(I helped save b3ta! theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 10:18, archived)