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# I am a GP trainee currently working in psychiatry.
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 1:05, archived)
# Hey that's a cool profession.
Better than my profession.
(I helped save b3ta! zoldergoose, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 1:07, archived)
# It pays the bills :-)
Psych nights are pretty boring though. So far tonight I've been called for one job, which was to write up some paracetamol :-|

EDIT: How rude of me, what is your profession?
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 1:10, archived)
# Well, if that's all you have to do then frankly I'm glad your pay is being frozen.
Yeahhhh, I went there.

And my profession is bein' a student.
(I helped save b3ta! zoldergoose, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 1:13, archived)
# That doesn't affect junior docs like myself so HA!
And in two months I'll be working my arse off in A&E.
THEN I'll be earning my money.
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 1:18, archived)
# Can I have some morphine please?
When they gave me morphine last time I was in hospital, I was like, WOW! THIS IS TOTALLY AWESOME! GIVE ME MORE MORPHINE! and my male nurse who looked like Turk was like totally No man, you can't have more, and I was like totally YOU LOOK LIKE TURK! I LIKE TURK! BUT I DON'T LIKE YOU BECAUSE YOU WON'T GIVE ME MORE MORPHINE!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 1:33, archived)
# Of course you can have morphine. Morphine for everyone!
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 1:36, archived)
# Ah man!
You're totally better than Turk Nurse! Now all you have to do is move to either Queen Mary's in Sidcup or Queen Elizabeth in Woolwich and we're totally on!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 1:37, archived)
# When I did my first job I was desperately hoping it would be like Scrubs. My initials are JD and my best friend was black and doing surgery.
Sadly it was all boring instead like Grey's Anatomy :-(
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 1:40, archived)
# That sucks dude!
If you want excitement, seriously, move to a hospital near me. I am always getting into whacky scrapes! I think next time I will probably damage my legs in some way as they are totally overdue!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 1:42, archived)
# Good idea!
Sadly I'm stuck in Brum for the next 3 years but you're welcome to send me pictures of your injuries to keep me entertained.
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 1:48, archived)
# What drugs do you give people when they get superglue on their fingers and then use sandpaper to remove some of it and it hurts like fuck?
(I helped save b3ta! zoldergoose, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 1:44, archived)
# A drugs test.
You can take yours now.
Also, have some morphine. Everyone else is.
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 1:45, archived)
# On the plus side I'm now missing a fingerprint
What crimes shall I commit using only my left forefinger?
(I helped save b3ta! zoldergoose, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 1:46, archived)
# Rapes
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 1:59, archived)
# Steal a thimble.
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 2:10, archived)
# Or one of those monster finger puppets made of rubber.
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 2:11, archived)
# Or Fingermouse.
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 2:11, archived)
# Or a freakishly large straw.
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 2:12, archived)
# No, no. no!
I know what you should steal!

A piece of string!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 2:12, archived)
# Oh wait!
You should totally steal loads of those jelly wedding rings! You can get like a thousand of those on one finger! That would totally be £10 of booty!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 2:13, archived)
# I like this idea most.
But I do like Fingermouse.
(I helped save b3ta! zoldergoose, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 2:21, archived)
# Then do it!
DO IT NOW!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 2:39, archived)
# Poke a badger to death.
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 2:20, archived)
# That sounds dangerous.
Although you are a doctor...
(I helped save b3ta! zoldergoose, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 2:24, archived)
# It's fairly safe as long as you remember to go for the eyes first.
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 2:25, archived)
# Is your professional full-time internet cool dude?
(Jeru War and Piss, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 1:14, archived)
# Yeah man.
So cool I replied to this fashionably late.
(I helped save b3ta! zoldergoose, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 1:45, archived)
# Are you here as part of your training?
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 1:09, archived)
# what's that supposed to mean?
...and where do you live?
(I helped save b3ta! PedroHin Come along & ride on a Flantastic Voyage, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 1:15, archived)
# Oh man I've just coated my finger in superglu, fuck
Help guys it feels weird.
(I helped save b3ta! zoldergoose, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 1:19, archived)
# STOP TYPING
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 1:22, archived)
# it's just a good thing that his fingers were stuck to the
OHMANIVEJUSTCOATEDMYFINGERINSUPERGLUEFUCK keys
(I helped save b3ta! PedroHin Come along & ride on a Flantastic Voyage, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 1:24, archived)
# Yeah, that was pretty lucky.
By all rights they should be stuck to his penis.
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 1:44, archived)
# LOL I JUST SPAT CHICKEN ALL OVER MY MONITOR!!!!!!!
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 1:25, archived)
# Eurgh.
(I helped save b3ta! zoldergoose, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 1:26, archived)
# I JUST EJECTED COFFEE FROM ALL MY ORIFICES OVER ALL MY SENSITIVE EQUIPMENT
(I helped save b3ta! Shada, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 1:33, archived)
# I AM JAMMING RICE IN BETWEEN THE KEYS OF MY KEYBOARD!!!!!!!!!!!
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 1:56, archived)
# STOP WASTING CHICKEN
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 2:04, archived)
# You have pretty eyes!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 1:33, archived)
# No, I'm on here because the only things to entertain me in this room are a kettle and a pile of women's magazines.
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 1:20, archived)
# we're happy to rate at least one notch above women's magazines :)
(I helped save b3ta! PedroHin Come along & ride on a Flantastic Voyage, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 1:26, archived)
# ...unless he's read them all already
Hmmmmmm....
(I helped save b3ta! PedroHin Come along & ride on a Flantastic Voyage, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 1:26, archived)
# I may have flicked through a couple of them.
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 1:31, archived)
# Wank off into the kettle,
using the womens magazines as wank fodder! That's totally what I would do!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 1:34, archived)
# Is that why my tea tastes funny?
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 1:37, archived)
# Ha!
I wish I could spunk all the way to Birmingham!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 1:54, archived)
# Best superpower ever.
You could wear a cape and everything.
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 1:58, archived)
# I dunno,
I wouldn't wanna burst a hole in the cape if a breeze caught it on the vinegar strokes....
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 2:09, archived)
# Fair point.
Maybe just a cool mask like Batman then.

You'd need a superhero name too.
Something like 'Captain Jizzesfuckingmiles' only less shit.
And maybe a masked sidekick who follows you round with a box of tissues.
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 2:14, archived)
# I shall call myself:
SPUNKTOBRUMAN!

I am totally gonna make him an outfit now and everything!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 2:16, archived)
# But that implies you can only spunk to Brum, no matter where on the planet you are. Possibly even if you're in space.
How would that help you fight crime?
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 2:18, archived)