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# Also, I just put Logovend's picture on facebook and the first comment was 'You remind me of Boris Johnson'
For fuck's sake.
(I helped save b3ta! zoldergoose, Mon 12 Oct 2009, 19:52, archived)
# you remind everyone of boris johnson
except boris johnson.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 12 Oct 2009, 19:54, archived)
# weyhey!
(I helped save b3ta! PointlessCamel Last one on drugs is a queer., Mon 12 Oct 2009, 19:56, archived)
# if he wasn't so laughable, he'd be considered dangerous
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 12 Oct 2009, 20:00, archived)
# The curry I just bought/ate from the garage was pitiful,
who thinks I should get another one?
(I helped save b3ta! PointlessCamel Last one on drugs is a queer., Mon 12 Oct 2009, 20:00, archived)
# EAT MOAR!
(I helped save b3ta! epiphany coming live from sweden, Mon 12 Oct 2009, 20:02, archived)
# *is v tempted*
(I helped save b3ta! PointlessCamel Last one on drugs is a queer., Mon 12 Oct 2009, 20:07, archived)
# go to your local curry house
and get a king prawn vindaloo
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 12 Oct 2009, 20:07, archived)
# does not have the monies!
garage shite only :(
(I helped save b3ta! PointlessCamel Last one on drugs is a queer., Mon 12 Oct 2009, 20:08, archived)
# do you have
either maykway hot curry powder or patak's curry paste in your cupboards?
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 12 Oct 2009, 20:10, archived)
# possibly some Patak's
do tells!
(I helped save b3ta! PointlessCamel Last one on drugs is a queer., Mon 12 Oct 2009, 20:12, archived)
# chop and fry
any fresh veg you have in a little oil. add 2 heaped tablespoons of patak's paste, along with any or all of the following:
garlic
paprika
fivespice
chilli
dark soy sauce

stir for another 5 minutes, then add to your garage curry. it will bulk it up and make it taste considerably nicer.
alternatively, if you have rice and meat, brown the meat before you cook the veg, add a little water at the same time as the paste and cook on a medium heat for 10 minutes.
cooked meat can be substituted easily and just needs heating through.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 12 Oct 2009, 20:18, archived)
# Mine is simillar.
Marinate the meat (shin of beef is a good one for this) overnight in a marinade of yoghurt, garam marsala, salt and pepper. The yoghurt will make the end product nice and creamy.

When you're ready to make your curry, chop a large onion, some garlic and some fresh root ginger. Put them in a big pan on a medium heat with a tiny bit of oil and some salt and pepper. Give it about 8 minutes to sweat down.

Add a teaspoon tomato pureé, some curry powder, some ground fennel seeds, cumin seeds, turmeric and coriander seeds. Let it all cook for another 5 minutes or so. At this point you have a curry paste that you can keep in the fridge for about a week or in the freezer for months.

Add a tin of tomatoes to the paste, along with some curry leaves (dried are fine - you can get them in any supermarket) your meat and yoghurt mix and one green chilli (whole). Add about a pint and a half of stock of some sort - beef for a beef curry, chicken for chicken, obviously.

Simmer gently for about two hours. Take out the whole chilli. If it needs to reduce a bit more, turn up the heat at this point and keep stirring.

As good as anything you can get at a curry house when it's done. Cheaper too. I worked out that once you have the spices in your cupboard, it costs about £1 a portion to make.

Chuck in some fresh coriander if you have it. I like to put string beans in mine too.

EDIT: Obviously the whole 'marinade the meat overnight' doesn't help you now. But give it a try next time. Well worth it. Can be made vegetarian too.
(Seance Trumpet has got no beef with a man enjoying a croissant, Mon 12 Oct 2009, 20:30, archived)
# sounds nice
i would leave out the yoghurt and tomato, though, and concentrate more on hot spices and garlic.
i love hot food :)
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 12 Oct 2009, 20:33, archived)
# The yoghurt actually helps the spices penetrate into the meat when marinating.
This has been proven by Science.

Without that and the tomatoes (which melt and disappear as it simmers) you don't really get a proper sauce. Not a saucey sauce anyway. It ends up being more of a spicy broth - which is okay I guess.
(Seance Trumpet has got no beef with a man enjoying a croissant, Mon 12 Oct 2009, 20:35, archived)
# i know
but i really don't like yoghurt in curry. mine was more of a garage curry quick fix anyway. i'm actually a very good cook, i didn't get this fat by accident! :D
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 12 Oct 2009, 20:37, archived)
# Use creamed coconut instead.
Maybe not for the marinade though.
(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Mon 12 Oct 2009, 20:39, archived)
# i shall give it a go
next time i have guests. not much point when it's just for me, i can only eat a tiny amount.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 12 Oct 2009, 20:46, archived)
# That's good for the sauce, but you need the fat content to get the spices to go into the meat.
I don't really understand all the Science of it, but I heard a scientist say it once on television and he had a beard and a white coat and everything.
(Seance Trumpet has got no beef with a man enjoying a croissant, Mon 12 Oct 2009, 20:47, archived)
# If you're after fat content, coconut has much more than yoghurt.
I think it's the acid in the yoghurt that helps, but I may be wrong.
(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Mon 12 Oct 2009, 20:54, archived)
# Yeah I recognise that mine doesn't really help PointlessCamel in his current predicament.

I tend to make a big ol' batch of it once a month and freeze it in individual portions.
(Seance Trumpet has got no beef with a man enjoying a croissant, Mon 12 Oct 2009, 20:40, archived)
# i do that with soup
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 12 Oct 2009, 20:47, archived)
# thanks Smash/Dr
great advice
(I helped save b3ta! PointlessCamel Last one on drugs is a queer., Mon 12 Oct 2009, 20:40, archived)
# you're welcome
enjoy your curry :)
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 12 Oct 2009, 20:45, archived)
# Yes
enjoy your horrible yoghurtless curry. :D
(Seance Trumpet has got no beef with a man enjoying a croissant, Mon 12 Oct 2009, 20:48, archived)
# I made a curry in ten minutes last week
Not including the rice.

When the rice is about done, chop up an onion and fry it with a crushed clove of garlic and a chopped red chilli. When the onion is going nice and golden, add a load of chicken.

After about 3 minutes, add about half a teaspoon of cumin, the same amount of coriander seeds, a teaspoon of tumeric and a teaspoon of curry powder.

Then a healthy squeeze of tomato puree and mix it all up.

Whack in a decent dollop of natural yoghurt, stir it up, and then serve it with the ricde and a bit of fresh coriander.

Nom nom nom.

Actually it's the same as yours except it too ten minutes, not two days :o
(OneForTheRoad man under glass, Mon 12 Oct 2009, 21:57, archived)
# wonderful smoke
how'd you do that?
(I helped save b3ta! god save the queen making another unremarkable comeback, Mon 12 Oct 2009, 20:04, archived)
# twas done with 'After Effects' my good man
(I helped save b3ta! PointlessCamel Last one on drugs is a queer., Mon 12 Oct 2009, 20:04, archived)
# Smooooooooooooooooooth
(I helped save b3ta! Valin I changed glasses while I wasn't looking, Mon 12 Oct 2009, 20:16, archived)
# Hahahha you funny looking cunt
:)
(I helped save b3ta! epiphany coming live from sweden, Mon 12 Oct 2009, 20:01, archived)
# I don't look like that anymore.
And I live near you.
(I helped save b3ta! zoldergoose, Mon 12 Oct 2009, 20:16, archived)
# Funny looking :D
(I helped save b3ta! epiphany coming live from sweden, Mon 12 Oct 2009, 20:26, archived)