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Bela Lugosi's Dad, Wed 21 Oct 2009, 8:27, archived)

I'll bring a spade to scoop your poop

And a cricket bat...

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hoodles is in your Afrikas Being Shotz at in CongOs, Wed 21 Oct 2009, 8:36, archived)

Otherwise I'll do it by the bed so you tread in it with no shoes on

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Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Wed 21 Oct 2009, 8:41, archived)

I'm RICH!

Dear Prize Winner

We're euphoric to inform you that your email address has won an Award of Nine Hundred Thousand Great
British Pounds (900,000.00) for the 2009 Prize promotion organized by Yahoo & Windows Live Award
Programme held in Manchester, United Kingdom in month of October ,2009. The Management of Yahoo &
Windows Live inc. collected all active email addresses online, amongst millions that subscribed to Yahoo,
Windows Live Hotmail.

PAYMENT OF PRIZE / CLAIMS
Yahoo & Windows Live Award must be claimed not later than 30 days from date of Draw Notification. Any
prize not claimed within this period will be forfeited as unclaimed prizes.

Stated below is your Award File Information:
BATCH NUMBER: MFI/013/APA-43645
REFERENCE NUMBER: 2608312500
PIN: 1611

You are required to send your personal details along with your Award File Information to the programme
Assistant Award
Coordinator in the format below;
1. Full name:
2. Country:
3. Contact Address:
4. Telephone Number:
5. Marital Status:
6. Occupation:
7. Sex:
8. Date of Birth/Age:
9. Email Address:

Assistant Award Coordinator: Mr. Bratan Petko
Tel: +44 117-230-1432
Fax: +44 870-479-1443

Congratulations!! On your winning,
Sincerely Yours,
Neola Wilmington
Notification Officer
Microsoft Awards Centre

NB: Do not reply if you are NOT the intended recipient or owner of this email address; Disregard this
notification if you have been notified before.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yahoo and Msn Awards Team will not be held liable for any loss of funds arising from the above mentioned.
In event that you receive any e-mail similar to the notification letter that was sent to you, kindly delete it
from your mail box and give no further correspondence to such person or body.

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bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Wed 21 Oct 2009, 8:51, archived)

cor blimey Freebs

you've won a personal scammer from Reading!

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Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Wed 21 Oct 2009, 9:00, archived)

They're Euphoric that I've won!

I bet they're hoping I'll take them out for a drink, and maybe buy them a Cheese And Onion Pastie from Greggs

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bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Wed 21 Oct 2009, 9:02, archived)

I like to imagination that someone whose job it was to email people that they'd won a competition

probably would have a poncey inflated job title like 'Notifications Officer'.

(Seance Trumpet has got no beef with a man enjoying a croissant, Wed 21 Oct 2009, 10:42, archived)

Lucky you

Can I have a fiver?

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epiphany coming live from sweden, Wed 21 Oct 2009, 9:00, archived)

certainly sir

I shall Scan one of them in and email them to you

strange - when did fivers become pink with a picture of an Aardvark in a Bowler hat on the back?

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bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Wed 21 Oct 2009, 9:03, archived)

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epiphany coming live from sweden, Wed 21 Oct 2009, 9:05, archived)

Since the Aardvark Uprising last year overthrew the House Of Windsor.

They were dismayed to find it was a ceremonial position but then they became lazy and preferred to live in the lap of luxury than to take over parliament.

Don't you ever read the news?

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Prequal This is serious business. Very serious., Wed 21 Oct 2009, 9:08, archived)

1. Steal batch, reference and PIN

2. Email them off with details
...
...
5. Profit!

I'm pretty sure that's how the next few hours are going to go for me.

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Prequal This is serious business. Very serious., Wed 21 Oct 2009, 9:01, archived)

Amongst other things

I love how you have to provide your marital status to claim a prize you didn't know you were entered for; and I love how Windows Live Inc. morphed into MSN Awards Team between the text and the disclaimer, and how the email was sent from the Microsoft Awards Centre. You know, that big building in Redmond where Microsoft piss away their profits giving millions of dollars to unsuspecting but overjoyed internet users.

I'm imagining that this Awards Centre is so liberal that they don't even use a Microsoft email address! Truly, Microsoft (and Yahoo!, of course) is a glorious company.

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boris the spider, Wed 21 Oct 2009, 9:12, archived)

It's the attention to detail they go into that really seals it for me

I've sent them my details - I even posted them my car and house keys - just to be on the safe side

I'm expecting the money to be delivered into my account by lunchtime

I'm throwing a huge party to celebrate

I've booked the Queens Hotel in Leeds - the whole top floor

I've also booked the Kings of Leon to act as waiters for the day

told them I'd pay them later

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bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Wed 21 Oct 2009, 9:25, archived)

I think you ought to hire Supernanny so she can check that the Kings of Leon have washed their hands before they serve any canapes

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Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Wed 21 Oct 2009, 9:27, archived)

oh I can afford that now - I'M RICH -I CAN DO ANYTHING!

I've bought you a train ticket so you can come up and join in

First Class!

(put it on the Barclaycard as I don't have the funds yet, but I'll have them by lunchtime)

If you can get here by 2pm - I've got a test drive in a Ferrari Barbarossa Booked

Just get to Exeter Railway station by 9.45 - I've got you booked on the 9.47 to Heathrow Airport - in the name of Spanley Stencer

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bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Wed 21 Oct 2009, 9:30, archived)

Congrats!

And who would have thought Yahoo & Windows Live working together?

See world peace is the next step

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Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Wed 21 Oct 2009, 9:19, archived)

CONGRATLATIONS YOUR OUR WINER!

Dear Sirmadam

COngratlations you hav won WORLD PEACE in El Gordo National Lotery Draw Euromilions Arkansas State Fund your email adress was chosen out of milliond of email addresses

To clame your WORLD PEACE prize simply call this number 075029732 and give the reference OHMYGODITSESTHERRANTZENONAHORSE and other spurious number CTC-247853-YU-GROT

We will also require an upfornt procesing fee of £300 and all your bank details you will agree this is a smal price to pay for WORLD PEACE

Condgratlation again!
love from
Mrs Deirdre Habsburg
Prixze Coordinator
3 Humato Avenue
Belgium

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Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Wed 21 Oct 2009, 9:23, archived)

Epic!

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Bee Nice |-|, Wed 21 Oct 2009, 10:41, archived)

wanna go doggin, baby?

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AgentMuu hentai coordination, Wed 21 Oct 2009, 8:47, archived)

Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf!

This glees me on a damp morning :D

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Prequal This is serious business. Very serious., Wed 21 Oct 2009, 8:48, archived)

I love the way he's selling it in, with a consipratorial wink.

He should work in marketing.

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Bee Nice |-|, Wed 21 Oct 2009, 8:53, archived)