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# How big do you want?
(, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 11:49, archived)
# BIGGER
(, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 11:50, archived)
# It's a small world
but I wouldn't want to paint it.
/Stephen Wright impression.
(, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 11:52, archived)
# you sounded just like him
(, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 11:54, archived)
# OK who's this then?
I have a picture of my wife on the mantelpiece.
It keeps the kids away from the fire.
(, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 11:57, archived)
# Dawson?
(, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 11:57, archived)
# You're good!
For maximum points answer this ancient riddle.
What's got four legs and flies?
(, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 12:01, archived)
# The rotting corpse of Shergar?
/dunno
(, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 12:02, archived)
# Spike Milligan's joke at the time was
The IRA sent Shergar's severed leg with a ransom note that said, "send a million pounds or this horse never runs again".
(, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 12:20, archived)
# hahaha
(, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 12:33, archived)
# the cat after meeting my foot?
(, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 12:02, archived)
# Take That & Lulu
(, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 12:03, archived)
# Hahaha what?
(, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 12:06, archived)
# A flying table?
(, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 12:10, archived)
# A. Long John Silver and three of his mates
(, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 12:11, archived)
# isn't it "what's got 4 wheels and flies?"
(, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 12:24, archived)
# what's another word for thesaurus?
:D

I heart stephen wright.
(, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 11:57, archived)
# Also
Borrow money from pessimists.
They don't expect it back.
(, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 12:08, archived)
# I said to my girlfriend -
if you could find out when and how you were going to die, would you want to know.
she said - no.
I said - forget it then....


I picked up a hitchhiker the other day. After 5 minutes I turned to him and said - better put your seatbelt on, I saw something in a cartoon and I reckon I can pull it off.


*gets coat*
*leaves*
(, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 12:15, archived)
# My friend Jed is a medium wave DJ.
When he drives under bridges his voice fades.
(, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 12:23, archived)
# BIGGAR!
(, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 11:56, archived)
# BIGGER!!!!!
cos I can still see uranus

sorry
(, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 11:58, archived)
# some things are quite big
(, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 11:59, archived)
# Are you sure that's to scale?
Kittens can be quite big you know.
*likes*
(, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 11:59, archived)
# LIES!
That kitty is merely siting on a purple woollen rug.
(, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 12:02, archived)
# But woah man! That rug is like as BIG as a whole Universe to the creatures that like live in it, and stuff.
(, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 12:11, archived)
# Yep. That's really quite big.
(, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 12:26, archived)