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Home » Messageboard » Remaking Films With Animals » Message 9988869

[challenge entry] The Muppets Presents - ASCIIMAL 2 - It's hard not to kill
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Animals and ASCII - can't beat that ;-)

From the Remaking Films With Animals challenge. See all 473 entries (closed)

(jflinden wifflewaffle, Thu 1 Apr 2010, 12:32, archived)
# Just in case you were wondering...
(jflinden wifflewaffle, Thu 1 Apr 2010, 12:34, archived)
# Are you alright?
Maybe you need to lie down for a while...
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Thu 1 Apr 2010, 12:36, archived)
# I found that I wasn't
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Thu 1 Apr 2010, 12:36, archived)
# I suspect you may be using an ASCII art generator for these
and not meticulously constructing them a character at a time.
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Thu 1 Apr 2010, 12:37, archived)
# I have a team of Korean slaves working for me
(jflinden wifflewaffle, Thu 1 Apr 2010, 12:48, archived)
# for fuck sake

you could at least put a link to your shoe website
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Thu 1 Apr 2010, 12:38, archived)
# Needs more phentermine
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Thu 1 Apr 2010, 12:42, archived)
# In other news, I managed to prank email my whole work group.
#------------#
It has come to the attention of the Branding team that many members of the chemistry department have been arriving at work wearing articles of clothing bearing the old University of Sydney logo. This is contrary to the new branding guidelines and is unacceptable within the university.
Accordingly, we will be making our way through the department during the morning and asking members of the department to remove offending articles.
Failure to comply with the enforcement team's directions will result in your being asked to leave the campus in order for offenders to go home and change their attire.
We thank you for your understanding in this matter. Adhering to the brand guidelines will support our brand and its core values, ensuring we have a common visual identity and a clear and unified voice. It will promote our aspirations and show the quality contribution of our people. This is essential to help the University build and maintain a distinctive presence.
Guidelines can be found here:
www.usyd.edu.au/staff/brand/index.shtml

Avril P. Oisson,
Sydney Branding.


--
[email protected]
www.usyd.edu.au/staff/brand
#------------#

Almost every one believed it as the 'branding team' really are that much of a bunch of wankers.
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Thu 1 Apr 2010, 12:42, archived)
# Nice one :)
And I assume that name/email addy is a red herring...
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Thu 1 Apr 2010, 12:44, archived)
# Yep.
In France, they have the "Avril Poisson" (April Fish) where they stick paper fish to each others' backs.
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Thu 1 Apr 2010, 12:59, archived)
# These Gauls are crazy *taps head*
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Thu 1 Apr 2010, 13:12, archived)
# Poisson d'Avril !!
(I helped save b3ta! 4Q just lurking, Thu 1 Apr 2010, 13:20, archived)
# I fooled my entire company today
by bringing my high-powered automatic rifle loaded with blanks
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Thu 1 Apr 2010, 12:45, archived)
# are you a gamekeeper?
(benito vaselini no not that one, Thu 1 Apr 2010, 12:47, archived)
# only if that's what the papers name me
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Thu 1 Apr 2010, 12:48, archived)
# That'll make tomorrow even more fun/suprising when it's loaded with AP rounds instead
(I helped save b3ta! The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Thu 1 Apr 2010, 12:48, archived)
# CAN'T TALK - PIGS HAVE ARRIVED
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Thu 1 Apr 2010, 12:49, archived)
# There's really a branding team?
(I helped save b3ta! The Alchemist king of the needlessly complicated, Thu 1 Apr 2010, 12:47, archived)
# They have to mark the cattle some how
 
(I helped save b3ta! El Cid ...wing attack plan R..., Thu 1 Apr 2010, 12:49, archived)
# Gotta love the smell of sizzling flesh
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Thu 1 Apr 2010, 12:51, archived)
# $20 million over 3 years.
$7 million up front to several companies and $13 million by the end of the first phase. All taken from the in-house teaching budget. All because the new VC wants to make a name for himself. The branding web pages are not available to the public - one wonders if that's because they would then look like arses.
Here's a snippet from one page...

#------------
Tone of voice
Introduction

When we speak with one voice, people remember and understand our message.

This section of the Brand Style Guidelines tells you about the University's tone of voice – its underlying principles and how to use it.

We have prepared a simple checklist to help you when writing communications for the University.

These pages also include the University’s Editorial Style Guide – which sets out grammar tips and conventions for frequently used terminology – and provide links to other resources that will help you write for the University (such as advice on how to write for the web).
Setting the scene

Imagine a conversation between the University's most brilliant minds, past and present.

The exchanges are inspiring and engaging, intense and energetic. What people say is informed and authoritative, but also crackling with intellect and, occasionally, a show of wit.

People ask questions, share opinions and discuss new insights. They are not afraid to be controversial or provocative.

Sentences tend to be short, sharp and well thought out, prompting a lively exchange.

The vocabulary is evocative and rich, but never alienating or elite.

This is our tone of voice, which reflects and brings to life who and what we are, as people, and ultimately, as an institution.

#------------
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Thu 1 Apr 2010, 12:56, archived)
# :D Fan-fucking-tastic.
"crackling with intellect" ! "vocabulary is evocative and rich, but never alienating or elite" !

Comedy gold. Well worth every million bucks...
(I helped save b3ta! The Alchemist king of the needlessly complicated, Thu 1 Apr 2010, 13:00, archived)
# Not even the tip of the iceberg, old chap.
The way our department is talkng, it's like 4chan planning a raid. There's talk of spamming the branding team with every poster and presentation we've ever made as they won't let us have a copy of the new uni logo without having approved the layout of our work first.
Rumour has it half the department will be going to international conferences with "insert uni logo here" on every powerpoint slide and poster...
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Thu 1 Apr 2010, 13:04, archived)
# "Sentences tend to be short, sharp and well thought out, prompting a lively exchange."
That's quite a long sentence no?
(I helped save b3ta! Curis, Thu 1 Apr 2010, 13:03, archived)
# it's certainly style getting in the way of content.
What if they come across a sentence that they don't understand? will they approve of it
(so that they logo can go on it)?
They can't have complete knowledge of everything. Some sentences have to be longer than others.
What about necessary Jargon?

Methnks you can have a lot of fun with this heh heh heh.
(jflinden wifflewaffle, Thu 1 Apr 2010, 13:11, archived)