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How to ...

be cruel to hamsters

(

mrbrong, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 6:31, archived)

hungry?

make your own burgers just like McDonalds and Burger King.

(

AndyK, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 6:15, archived)

Ananova Photoshop Challenge

Ok. This week - in our endless quest to try fresh new stuff, we thought we'd ask you to photoshop a website.

Lets see what people can do.

(

rob, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 5:47, archived)

blimey... a toughie

Here's a slapdash quick attempt. Not particularly funny but definitely the way ananova should go. And all the breeds were researched by myself. So at least it's factually accurate.

(

AndyK, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 6:05, archived)

that's a site

I'd visit EVERY day. AndyK - first as usual. The quickest photoshopper in the world.

(

rob, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 6:08, archived)

well... I cheated a bit really

I edited the HTML of the original page. Much easier ;)
How do I care for my penguin?

(

AndyK, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 6:10, archived)

i cheated too

It also has to be noted that I lifted the Darth Vorderman pic from AndyK. Thanks, Andy!

(

Manic can teach you the secret of fire, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 7:18, archived)

Macaroni Penguins....

sounds tasty. is it lunchtime yet?

(Zannusi-Beatz, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 6:49, archived)

here's a macaroni penguin

(

AndyK, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 6:58, archived)

Woo! Penguins!

Face it, Andy has already won...

(

mrbrong, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 8:45, archived)

when pep met kofi

(

AndyK, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 5:36, archived)

Where's

Kofi's hand and how does Pep feel aboot it.

(

Ted, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 5:51, archived)

god i love that picture

I was so proud that day.
Thanks andyk - you made me fell good all over again.
:)

(

pep, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 5:52, archived)

I know it's friday but...

is anyone else having a day like this...?

(

Ted, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 5:36, archived)

yep - me

but it's been made alot better by the picture above from andyk!

(

pep, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 5:47, archived)

True

but I didn't know Kofi enjoyed your company so much!!

(

Ted, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 5:54, archived)

he just put his hand on my bum,

i was shocked - as you can see - and he thought it was really funny - and laughed as the photographer happened to take the picture.
cheeky man!

(

pep, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 5:58, archived)

internet petting zoo

the zoo is nearly online, so..

create some animals! keep the images small, and make sure you animate them!
create 3 images, eating, normal, random. You have to host them (my bandwidth usage has already died from the monkey thing, no more please!)

(pissycocks GIRAFFETASTIC!, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 5:26, archived)

Artists impression of Toyota's 2002 F1 car

w00T I've got the day off today (and have no idea what to do with it!!) So i made this for you all

(

hal9000 sme, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 5:26, archived)

hilarious

pic.. luv it

also got the day off, but im just going to stare at the monitor in a hungover state..

(sorgboi, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 6:14, archived)

Thanks to Fat Lane Online

and AndyK for posting the site earlier, J-Lo as you've always seen her on widescreen TV

(

bantam, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 5:01, archived)

Yeah it's friday!

Fish and chips for tea!
Anyone else doing anything exciting?

(

Wifey, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 4:44, archived)

going to see

a couple of bands on kerrang expenses tomorrow. thats quite cool.

(Man In A Suitcase, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 4:49, archived)

Sounds good

Anyone an old ex duranie like me will know?

(

Wifey, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 5:00, archived)

you're an ex duranie?

lord. ROB! Wifey's an ex duranie!

(

pep, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 5:06, archived)

don't out me Pep

I don't want everyone to know that B3ta is run by Simon le Bon.

(

rob, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 5:16, archived)

They were brill.

I still want to marry Simon. Can you tell him for me?

(

Wifey, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 5:51, archived)

who you

going to see?

(

pep, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 5:05, archived)

off to see

a couple of bands kerrang are favouring over the last month - kinda single of the week band and demo of the month kind of sh1t - no one large. but its a free night out listening to tunes so justice has prevailed. of the audio variety of course! hehe

(Man In A Suitcase, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 5:22, archived)

i went to the

Masters of Reality gig last Sun. Pretty good. Nice to see Josh Holm & Nick Oliveri playing too...

(

pep, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 5:25, archived)

did

they play any kyuss?

(Man In A Suitcase, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 5:33, archived)

nope.

Mark Lanigan was on after tho - and he was great - but so kinda nicey-guitary-mellow i nearly fell over asleep.

(

pep, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 5:48, archived)

next Friday

I am going to see Extreme Noise Terror.

(Esteban, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 6:44, archived)

I'm putting on a crab head-dress

and going to hover above central london watching the cress grow in parliament square to spell out a rude word.

(

AndyK, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 4:56, archived)

Brilliant!

is it rude like bum or tits, or really rude like bollocks?

(

Wifey, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 5:04, archived)

It's the word

"bottom". Which is the rudest word I know.

(

AndyK, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 5:07, archived)

you can't write THAT

not in public! AndyK - what would your mother say!

(

pep, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 5:26, archived)

I am going to the pub

for lunch, and then I shall sit at my desk until I think I can sneak off home.

(james, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 5:05, archived)

You lucky git

I would sneak off home as my manager has left for the day but if I go home I'll get shouted out by the girlfriendobot MkII Bah humbug

(

Ted, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 5:44, archived)

Problem solved -

go to the pub, then when you eventually get home, make sure you are too drunk to care about girlfriendobot shouting at you.

I've got 22 minutse to go. Huh huh huh.

(james, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 6:06, archived)

oh dear...

i just read the "is your son a computer hacker" article, thats genius, probably the best thing ive ever read on the net... ever.

oh god, thats made my day.

(Zannusi-Beatz, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 4:42, archived)

The best bit is the

replies down below - some people really get worked up about things, don't they!!

(

bantam, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 4:48, archived)

yeah...

that and all the hyperlinks, the bush/clinton one is great, but it's the usa flag link that almost had me in tears.

(Zannusi-Beatz, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 4:53, archived)

Warning number 9

Does your son wear bright clothes and have a pacifier round his neck? Oh no, that's both my boys!

(

Wifey, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 4:56, archived)

T Reginald Gibbon rocks

"I had to use my real name because all the call signs from Top Gun were taken".

It's classic.

He also writes so well . I was moved....

(

mrbrong, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 5:05, archived)

A couple of diversions

Hectic game, but it features a penguin and a pretty flash cartoon both found thanks to the well again zannah.

(

PeterSeychelles, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 4:39, archived)

why does the penguin

quack like a duck?

(

AndyK, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 4:42, archived)

is that part of that surreal test <a href="http://www.physics.usyd.edu.au/~mar/tests/surreal/">(qv)</a>?

fish

(

PeterSeychelles, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 4:47, archived)

I like that

it has snow and stuff.

(

Wifey, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 4:48, archived)

hurray

what a trangular cat actually *means*

here

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 4:28, archived)

what's going on..

That's the image Marvin Gaye was thinking of.

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 4:24, archived)

It's official

I'm Blofeld - yay!

(james, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 4:11, archived)

Has anyone been to this zoo before?

It's really cheerful.

It's the Alphabet zoo

(

mrbrong, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 3:56, archived)

"C" for

Crab - this is made for us.

(Esteban, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 4:00, archived)

Although

The Koala's crap. It looks more like a monkey.

(milk_explosion, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 4:19, archived)

All these nice TV captures

reminds me of an offshoot from the stuff I did for my PhD - it allowed you to
open a window with a live TV picture in it
and then rub over bits of the image to make collages from
the pictures. Here's one taken from channel 4 racing:

The capture card was pretty cruddy, as was my alpha-compositing code, hence the awful picture quality :)

(

chthonic, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 3:37, archived)

Ah - here are some more

neighbours:

question time:

(

chthonic, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 3:50, archived)

they're like

daytime tv fractals.

(

AndyK, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 3:58, archived)

Actually the Neigbours one

doesn't look any different to the main titles now.

(

bantam, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 4:18, archived)

two more oddities found today

be my girlfriend and

make laser LEGO bricks. The former - is it real? The latter - does anyone want to make me some?

(

AndyK, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 3:21, archived)

The former is totally

bizarre. What did you search for to get that?

(

bantam, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 3:25, archived)

I found it linked through

blogdex. Like most of the shtuff I come up with...

(

AndyK, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 3:26, archived)

That's

Quite scary actually (please don't dump me after I like you) Nice to see that the mullet is still alive and kickin'!

(

Ted, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 4:01, archived)

I'm starting to think this just isn't on

if you look at the guy's ICQ details, you get this:

"i saw this kids site and i pissed myself laughing.... now that i think about it, i didnt stop laughing for like 20 minutes..... so i thought id hack this account, cause micheal, ya ugly kunt, you will never get a g/f......
AND THIS IS NOT MICHAEL EITHER
h4x0r3d by Anemic

howdy to Svlad Cjelli and furious george and to all the rice boyz!!!"

and a link to this.
Something's not right here.

(

AndyK, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 4:10, archived)

oh my gawsh

poor kid, its one thing having a mullet but that flash movies just harsh as fk ahahah funny tho

(Man In A Suitcase, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 4:37, archived)

Svlad Cjelli

Wasn't that Dick Gently [Holistic Detective]'s real name...?

(

mrbrong, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 5:36, archived)

yes it was!

i thought that too...

although i expect you meant "Dirk" =)

(

spacefish bong!, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 6:47, archived)

I personally love

The Surreal Test

(

bantam, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 4:13, archived)

Apparently

I am a Fish with a Bicycle.My poetry kills cows, but only with an acute sunset. Four score bald men take their coffee for a walk with my conveyer belt. Death pays those who interfere with my green amusement.Are your giraffes on fire? The Utterly Surreal Test

(

bantam, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 4:15, archived)

Fantastic - this is me:

You are a Minimalist Cow Sculpture.
Your massive green incongruity mingles with past stitched screwdrivers. Mango potential exudes around your recycled writing gastropods. You fire enraged plastic knees on webbed bags

(james, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 4:17, archived)

how many more personality

tests can there be? Hasn't it got to die soon? Please?
In the meantime, I was quite amued by the Which online test are you? test.

(

AndyK, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 5:08, archived)

sheep are gay

apparently.

(

AndyK, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 3:10, archived)

And so are

The old men of the trees

(

Stella_R_Twa, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 5:45, archived)

I want one!

Segway's Boring. Bring On The Hovercraft

(

AndyK, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 3:01, archived)

Hover

Apparently the only person in the country to own one of those is the silly hat wearing duffer in Jamiriquoi.

Do you want to look like that?

(

Ted, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 3:15, archived)

hats rock

there's nothing wrong with hats. woo. I have a very nice fluffy hat.

(

AndyK, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 4:33, archived)

no Andy

thats hair mate

(Man In A Suitcase, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 4:38, archived)

oh yes

so it is... I wondered why it kept getting bigger every year. I thought it was just the new season's range.

(

AndyK, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 4:43, archived)

Searching around a bit

and found a page for Sinclair C5 enthusiasts. Will there be a segway one in a few years time?

(

AndyK, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 3:16, archived)

I want one too!

and that flying thing. Very handy in traffic jams.

(

Wifey, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 3:16, archived)

I didn't know they had traffic

out there in the country... ;)

(

AndyK, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 3:31, archived)

The fens get very congested

on market day you know. Do you think it works on water?

(

Wifey, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 3:34, archived)

I suppose there must be lots

of livestock to get around, yes...
I think you might need to switch to the hovercraft to tackle the fens.

(

AndyK, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 3:57, archived)

I am sorry,

I have to disagree, allthough it looks much more fun, I wont be able to scoot in and around the office with one of those, that upsets me

(

JamboM, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 3:59, archived)

or flood the office and

then you could still hovercraft in...

(

AndyK, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 4:17, archived)

Blimey

seems like last night was the night to be drinking and on the board.
I love reading people's ramblings the morning after. it rocks.
Did anyone catch any of TV Go Home on E4? Personally I didn't laugh once. Which I was disappointed about as I wanted to like it.
I thought that some bits just weren't funny and other bits made me sit there and think "that's quite clever" but not actually laugh. Which is a bit of a downfall in a comedy programme really.

(

AndyK, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 2:46, archived)

I think

I'll stick to tunes today not whiskey...
Wedon't get E4. Probably shold though..

(

Wifey, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 3:03, archived)

oh no. poor you. feeling a bit worse for wear?

Can you say tunes properly though? Like "tyooooooons"?

(

AndyK, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 3:04, archived)

I'm not too bad, thankyou

I was just fishing for sympathy.

(

Wifey, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 3:14, archived)

I agree - I caught it on Tuesday when

it was first on. I mean - it's OK having a website which was amusing (and even I sent in more than one thing that got published on it) but stretching it out to 30 minutes didn't work at all. The only potentially funny thing was having Mr Bennett in it - a blast from the past or what.
Shame it was so close together on Tuesday with Banzai - now that IS class.

(

bantam, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 3:13, archived)

b3ta

should interview Mr Bennett, Rob.

(james, Fri 7 Dec 2001, 4:04, archived)

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