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Die Mutha F*cka!!!

(

andy206, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 11:19, archived)

What's that

white thing - a crosshare?

(

helmetcream, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 16:42, archived)

The Magic Daniels Twins!

Watch in AWE as they pull each other out of a hat!

(

andy206, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 10:50, archived)

make them

into playing cards!

(Esteban, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 11:32, archived)

Good

idea!

(wallacet, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 11:35, archived)

What card is he?

The Twat of Clubs?

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 12:49, archived)

Or we could

club the twat

(

helmetcream, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 16:44, archived)

Continuing the Blankety-Blank theme...

Hope you like it...

(Frankie, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 10:40, archived)

I've invented a new

celebrity quiz. Its called "Celebrity Depression", where celebs come on and members of the public have to guess how they are feeling... Its great!

Big up [is] the sky!

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 11:00, archived)

Celebrity Depression

is a pretty good idea. Not as a gameshow - but you could make a good documentary out of it.

(

rob, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 11:03, archived)

No.

I want to win kitchen appliances for correctly guessing that Vanessa Feltz is feeling bad about being an annoying slag!

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 11:05, archived)

Jamie's quite down

clicky

(

chthonic, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 11:20, archived)

See...

this is a really good quiz show formula :)

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 11:24, archived)

To make it easier

you could pre-print the cards with '... and I want to die.'

(

chthonic, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 11:30, archived)

I don't know why

but I found that idea very funny indeed :)

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 11:31, archived)

I just heard

Carol Vorderman say "It's a bit sticky in there today" on Countdown.

(

pete, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 10:37, archived)

what does

whiteley's tie say today?

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 10:40, archived)

I have a head full of shrimps

(couldn't be arsed to make a picture)

(

pete, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 10:48, archived)

and who was

in dictionary corner?

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 10:59, archived)

When bands collide

(

HP hasn't been here in aaaaaages, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 10:24, archived)

pep will eat it herself

(when bands collide with board members)

(

rob, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 10:44, archived)

heh heh

chew chew, slobber

(

pep, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 11:05, archived)

Chas 'n' Cave?

Deaddeaddeaddead-Rabbitrabbitrabbitrabbit

(

grinfish redux I can remember when all this were eels, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 16:13, archived)

Geoff Capes,

strongman of my youth, is now breeding budgerigars.

Seriously. Can we interview him, PLEASE...

(james, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 9:56, archived)

I think you should

interview the mighty Sir Capes.. I know he's not a Sir yet, but perhaps you could get his opinion on becoming a knight of the realm?
BTW, a bloke that I work with used to be a games programmer, and guess what??? He programmed the "GEOFF CAPES STRONGMAN CHALLENGE" on the Spectrum all those years ago.... Almost gives me RSI form tapping the keys just thinking about it....

(

vulga is a foul mouthed cunt, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 10:13, archived)

does your friend know how to use flash?

we'd love a modern version...

(

rob, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 10:19, archived)

Flashing Geoff Capes

Not sure, will ask the next time I see him, if not I'm sure I can get a few chaps together and we can resurrect the legacy that is .... Capes

(

vulga is a foul mouthed cunt, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 11:29, archived)

Flashing Geoff Capes

Not sure, will ask the next time I see him, if not I'm sure I can get a few chaps together and we can resurrect the legacy that is .... Capes

(

vulga is a foul mouthed cunt, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 11:29, archived)

It wasn't Microsoft's fault after all

now BAA have tracked down the real culprit:

[I'm willing to blame this guy every time]

(

chthonic, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 9:51, archived)

I invented

a parlour game this weekend

www.monkeon.co.uk/bunny

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 9:40, archived)

i like that

a lo'

(Esteban, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 9:49, archived)

thankyou

you must play it as a tribute to Stanley Unwin.

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 9:50, archived)

I want more Photoshoped Kimbles!

Kim "Kimble" Schmitz

Kimble.org
CaptainKimbos impression *

More Google Pics

(FoxA / DannyWeinkauf, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 9:11, archived)

The problem is

how are you supposed to out-do the Fat Bastard one?!

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 9:38, archived)

with a big

knife?

I'm Hungry! Brain!!!

(FoxA / DannyWeinkauf, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 9:46, archived)

Hmm...

Interesting link on the front, but someone should tell us how to exercise demons as well...

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 9:04, archived)

just use the buffy swearing keyboard

Oi! Demon! Jesus Christ saysFUCK OFF!

(

rob, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 9:14, archived)

Everyone knows

That you have to walk them twice a day
and make sure they have an ample haunting area at home.

(

mrbrong, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 9:25, archived)

Geek humour... Tee Hee!

Whats the technical term for the poltergeist phenomenon?

Terminate and stay resident!

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 9:40, archived)

Chortle

Nice geek humour, and a joke I must remember never to use with my 'normal' non geeky mates. I made a joke about a font, once. I mean, christ.

(

binster, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 12:18, archived)

i like the 'what demons do' bit

They glorify themselves through witchcraft, false religion and other tools like the occult and much of today’s popular rock-and-roll, rap and metal music.

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 9:28, archived)

More useful exorcism

Never mind demons, how do I exorcise Born Again Christians out of my porch?

(

Cedarsave, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 10:54, archived)

fark.com vs somethingawful.com photoshop challenge

hmmm fark.com and somehting awful.com are having a photoshop battle. to see which site has the best photoshoppers, i think b3ta should join the battle too!

(steeev, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 8:26, archived)

arse

i sent that idea to Fark a few months back and they didn't respond.

(

rob, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 8:28, archived)

Obviously

Because they're terrified of what b3ta would do to them. V1va B3ta!

(

Cedarsave, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 9:57, archived)

hmm, maybe they dont consider b3ta a worthy opponent

how about choosing a UK opponent such as popbitch.co.uk maybe that would be more of a fair fight

(steeev, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 9:57, archived)

i noticed

that somethingawful.com charges $9.95 in order to read/post on their messageboard?

(que, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 10:03, archived)

i noticed that, too

but then I found b3ta, which is brill, so I don't need any other silly photoshop-obsessed forums :)

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 10:20, archived)

we only exist because we are free. brilliant.

(

rob, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 11:41, archived)

Look what I did mummy!

(Mortimer Jazz, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 8:15, archived)

oops sorry

first post -I hope the pic isn't too big

(Mortimer Jazz, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 8:17, archived)

Well

it is big, but somebody already posted this pic...

Welcome to the board though :)

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 8:18, archived)

arse!

Oh Well - can I delete the post?

(Mortimer Jazz, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 8:20, archived)

There should be

a delete button under your own posts, if you're logged in.

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 8:22, archived)

Thanks....

...for the welcome :)
I'll leave the pic posted for now.

(Mortimer Jazz, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 8:26, archived)

I would

otherwise this thread would no longer be anchored to the board, and would float of into space, lost forever :(

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 8:27, archived)

Actually

I think bits of space debris from the b3ta board smashed into Mir, causing all the problems...

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 8:28, archived)

mwah ha ha ha!

*wheeze*

(nodmonkey, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 8:19, archived)

Who needs photoshop

when you got a big black marker

(

helmetcream, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 16:51, archived)

I have been working on this

misheard lyric, enjoy...

clicky

(Esteban, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 8:07, archived)

aha

v good.

(

rob, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 8:10, archived)

Thats

brill!

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 8:13, archived)

sweden makes me think of muppets

rather than porn.

(

rob, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 8:18, archived)

The swedish chef?

What about Muppets and porn, imagine the possibilities.

(Esteban, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 8:19, archived)

this is sweden

(

rob, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 8:26, archived)

Meet the feebles

A modern classic

(

mrbrong, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 8:31, archived)

hmm

loving you->stu? it's best if it sounds right, but is obviously wrong... and that does not sound at all like stu. nice otherwise. i like the piano dude.

(nodmonkey, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 8:23, archived)

sorry

but it had to be stu, personal reasons.

(Esteban, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 8:43, archived)

Well done estaban

that is lovely

(

chthonic, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 8:37, archived)

Is this person quite mad ?

http://canoe.talksurgery.com/consumer/forums/showthread.php3?postid=103#post103

(bolton, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 7:42, archived)

Judging by a previous post, ...

about penis *reduction* I would say "yes"

(Tuna, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 8:02, archived)

Its clearly...

a desperate cry for help from Sophie Ellis-Bextor

(george_silverback, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 8:03, archived)

Or, ...

This person?

(Tuna, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 8:15, archived)

This ones a killer

http://www.talksurgery.com/consumer/forums/showthread.php3?threadid=168

(Man In A Suitcase, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 8:26, archived)

my favourite is this one:

here

I love the way the Oprah style show is straight in there offering helpful advice. Made me laugh.

(james, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 9:00, archived)

Not sure

what to make of this, it's wide open for abuse though! (go to top 100 and listen to no.99 "HUNDOR" - pure talent)

(MentalAge, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 7:41, archived)

Abusive Scales

(I would apologise for the crap joke, but i'm not going to :)

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 7:20, archived)

Abusive Scales

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 7:37, archived)

Abusive Scales

OK .. I think thats all the puns I can come up with...

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 7:49, archived)

Abusive scales

clicky

(

mrbrong, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 7:56, archived)

Heh

Yeah, I probably should have re-posted the link with the pics... I wonder if there were any people who hadn't seen the original post who wondered what the hell I was on about? :)

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 8:01, archived)

Well

everything else around here
makes perfect sense non-stop, all of
the time, ever.

(

mrbrong, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 8:23, archived)

Yep.

Banana Haggis?

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 8:24, archived)

only in the earwigs of my mind

(

mrbrong, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 8:33, archived)

Earwigs of your mind?

I think I've been there... I seem to recall taking a holiday to the earwigs of your mind in the summer of 1874...

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 8:37, archived)

Ah!

Did you see the ice scating monkey?
Those were the days...

(

mrbrong, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 8:54, archived)

Hmm..

I think so. What happened to him?

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 8:58, archived)

He got into

commentary.

(

mrbrong, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 9:04, archived)

Ahhhh

one of oxfords finest universities!

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 9:06, archived)

Yes

he studied geography.

(

mrbrong, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 9:21, archived)

When you study

to become a geography teacher, do they provide you with leather-elbowed cardies or do you have to buy those yourself?

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 9:35, archived)

Shopping

is one of a geography teachers few pleasures

(

mrbrong, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 9:40, archived)

Maybe

we should set up an online store for leather-elbowed cardies?

But then again, what would a cardigan want to buy?!

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 9:42, archived)

Obviously

an ice skating monkey and a chest expander for demons

(

mrbrong, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 9:58, archived)

Of course!

Silly me.

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 9:59, archived)

Plugins

Can anyone recommend any good sources for free Photoshop plugins? In particular ones that can warp, stretch and distort images.

(

izb posting occasional messages since 2001, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 7:18, archived)

don't the standard filters

do a pretty good job of that stuff?

(

rob, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 7:19, archived)

I guess so, but..

I was thinking more along the lines of power goo type distortions or mesh-controlled distortions.

(

izb posting occasional messages since 2001, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 7:22, archived)

get PS6.0

and use Liquify

(

chthonic, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 7:50, archived)

A bit of an expensive solution, that.

But being aflicted with geeky tendancies I have just downloaded the Photoshop development kit and decided to do it myself.

(

izb posting occasional messages since 2001, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 7:55, archived)

Pictureman Rubber

plugins; shareware I think

(wallacet, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 8:18, archived)

thanks

i'll give it a go.

(

izb posting occasional messages since 2001, Mon 21 Jan 2002, 8:38, archived)

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