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if you have not

been here before you really should go now -

dialspace.dial.pipex.com/town/avenue/rdd18/playground

(Esteban, Wed 31 Oct 2001, 5:25, archived)

you know that is actually one of Rob's

favourite sites

(

pep, Wed 31 Oct 2001, 5:31, archived)

it is

the funniest site I have ever seen. I had it book marked but lost it when our machines got "upgraded". After much searching I have rediscovered it. The entry for african bum disease seems to be missing though.

(Esteban, Wed 31 Oct 2001, 5:37, archived)

wasnt it

african bum cleaner?

(bastardizor, Wed 31 Oct 2001, 5:40, archived)

there was that

but there was so much more. Ahh, I have just found it under "skill" which is actually African Bum Disease. How could I forget?

(Esteban, Wed 31 Oct 2001, 5:43, archived)

log is a genius

my secret plan is to draw him into b3ta land to add to the silliness.

(he doesn't know this yet, and nor have I ever spoken to him.)

(

rob, Wed 31 Oct 2001, 5:45, archived)

also found on logs site

More of that QED program starring John, who quite clearly is just rude and not mad at all.

www.log.dial.pipex.com/joeydeacon/johnsnotmad/swearstats.htm

(Esteban, Wed 31 Oct 2001, 6:02, archived)

midweek challenge: photoshop this dog

(

rob, Wed 31 Oct 2001, 4:31, archived)

halloween special?

(

AndyK, Wed 31 Oct 2001, 5:21, archived)

on a halloween theme....

Another from my good friend ozy

(bastardizor, Wed 31 Oct 2001, 5:29, archived)

I'm exporting video

4 hours to go. i'm scared to open photoshop incase everything seizes up. bah.

(

crab_bloke), Wed 31 Oct 2001, 5:36, archived)

Something about the haircut reminded me of

the widdy web:

No wonder that cat looks worried.
I've linked the image to the original BTW as it is fab.

(

chthonic, Wed 31 Oct 2001, 5:44, archived)

I keep seeing that cat and thinking

it's a machine gun.

(

AndyK, Wed 31 Oct 2001, 6:28, archived)

Hercules thought

"You know this doesn't seem as bad as I thought it would be"

(

PeterSeychelles, Wed 31 Oct 2001, 6:23, archived)

No, can't you see?

It's good old Cindy:

(seanizer, Wed 31 Oct 2001, 6:55, archived)

cor

she's lovely.

(

rob, Wed 31 Oct 2001, 7:12, archived)

ZZ Dog

(

AndyK, Wed 31 Oct 2001, 8:15, archived)

just a thought...

you should have a page each week of all the best pictures posted, have them in dodgy frames, and play the music from "The Gallery", you could have old Tony Hart pop up to offer comments on each piece.

(Zannusi-Beatz, Wed 31 Oct 2001, 4:10, archived)

that sounds like a

ruddy good idea!

Hurrah for Zanussi!

(bastardizor, Wed 31 Oct 2001, 4:12, archived)

What about a pin-up section?

Of the "girls of b3ta". Something like FHM, with photoshopped penguin-women etc.

(

spacefish bong!, Wed 31 Oct 2001, 4:17, archived)

Again, a classic

you lot should be in consultancy

(bastardizor, Wed 31 Oct 2001, 4:27, archived)

I was thinking abouit FHM the other day ...

... and how they should do a "100 sexiest cam girls" special.

FHM want pictures of girls.... cam girls want to be famous... sounds like free content for a magazine to me.

(

rob, Wed 31 Oct 2001, 4:43, archived)

it would never work

(

AndyK, Wed 31 Oct 2001, 4:50, archived)

what we DO have now is peoples images

going to the front page of the site. do you like?

(

rob, Wed 31 Oct 2001, 4:19, archived)

oh yes.

im lazy i just come in through the back way normally.

(Zannusi-Beatz, Wed 31 Oct 2001, 4:22, archived)

I think it is very

cool

You will have to add this though...

www.card1004.com/card/bsjj/53.swf

One of the best flash movies I have ever seen....

(bastardizor, Wed 31 Oct 2001, 4:28, archived)

Most of my work colleagues in one handy image

I call it... 'horrible'.

(

izb posting occasional messages since 2001, Wed 31 Oct 2001, 3:41, archived)

who are they? Name the body parts

please.

(

rob, Wed 31 Oct 2001, 3:44, archived)

I would particularly like to

know whose stomach part is wedged between the pink skirt & top.

Oh, and whose boobies they are?

(bastardizor, Wed 31 Oct 2001, 4:13, archived)

I could name them

But some read this board and that wouldn't seem fair. There are 9 separate people involved though.

(

izb posting occasional messages since 2001, Wed 31 Oct 2001, 6:04, archived)

you mean they might not recognise themselves?

hmm, is that my beard, or the secretaries?

(

pep, Wed 31 Oct 2001, 6:18, archived)

Link Challenge: What are the classic mpeg videos?

We're looking to put together another top 10 list... of the best mpeg videos. You know - monkey drinking pee etc.

What should be in the list?

(

rob, Wed 31 Oct 2001, 3:31, archived)

My favourites are the office olympics ones

I can only find two right now but there's a third with rowing.
1. Hurdles
2. Hallway Race

(

AndyK, Wed 31 Oct 2001, 3:37, archived)

found it...

I have it locally. (warning - hosted on my server so liable to collapse at any minute).
3. Rowing

(

AndyK, Wed 31 Oct 2001, 3:39, archived)

angry shouting office guy

does anyone have the link to the guy getting pissed off with his monitor and then throwing it on the floor?

(

hal9000 sme, Wed 31 Oct 2001, 3:53, archived)

this one?

http://www.videoklips.com/videos/www.videoklips.com_BadDay.mpg

(

AndyK, Wed 31 Oct 2001, 3:58, archived)

that one where the old woman

kicks the toddler... but i just dunno where that is.
I'll get coffee. That might help...bound to.

(

pep, Wed 31 Oct 2001, 4:01, archived)

there's a great one

of a penguin falling through the ice somewhere

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Wed 31 Oct 2001, 4:09, archived)

Nude skydiving

has to be one of them.

Or one of the myriad bullfight ones.

Or the classic starwars spoof 'Troops', although it doesnt count as a clip...

(bastardizor, Wed 31 Oct 2001, 4:16, archived)

and of course...

...Anthea Turner. The old fave.
Anthea on fire

(

AndyK, Wed 31 Oct 2001, 4:01, archived)

it's gone, but I've seen it before,

and it IS fantastic

(

pep, Wed 31 Oct 2001, 4:03, archived)

I copied the link from Tsluts but...

... the owner took it down. Found a new source though. (edited the post above).

(

AndyK, Wed 31 Oct 2001, 4:04, archived)

and that site has a few other classics too.

Monkey drinking piss, Guy being sucked into jet engine, Guy jumping pool, Guy running from cruise missile, etc...

(

AndyK, Wed 31 Oct 2001, 4:08, archived)

got to be...

the sheep smacking into the wall. Thats my fave.

Also i seem to remember an elephant falling onto a zookeepers head, (fake i imagine) and the couple having sex in and empty football stadium.

(Zannusi-Beatz, Wed 31 Oct 2001, 4:06, archived)

of course....

Sheep crash and stadium sex (zip file). And the bull taking someone's clothes (also a zip).

(

AndyK, Wed 31 Oct 2001, 4:14, archived)

This bear is guna blow chunks unless hes careful

(

hal9000 sme, Wed 31 Oct 2001, 3:08, archived)

kinda hypnotic

(

hal9000 sme, Wed 31 Oct 2001, 3:11, archived)

Is it just me

or do they need a soundtrack?

(

spacefish bong!, Wed 31 Oct 2001, 4:25, archived)

Like...

this"

i feel all mellow now

(

spacefish bong!, Wed 31 Oct 2001, 4:44, archived)

Ahhh

that's luvly. i'm very chilled now too. thanks.

(

crab_bloke), Wed 31 Oct 2001, 5:15, archived)

Sod chilled

Got any salmon?

(

chimpy, Wed 31 Oct 2001, 8:28, archived)

robot cats

I was working on some kind of game and thought I would share the results so far.

(Shoehorn, Wed 31 Oct 2001, 2:30, archived)

Hmmm - like it

so far! - needs more echidnas though - perhaps you could have a button to press which showers echidnas down over the cats & pinguins at intervals...?

(bastardizor, Wed 31 Oct 2001, 2:40, archived)

and more music

if not the winds of change, then maybe this

(

automatton52 Grumpy old goth, Wed 31 Oct 2001, 3:34, archived)

I like it... i'm excited

what is the game going to do?

(

rob, Wed 31 Oct 2001, 3:54, archived)

I was thinking something where you are a doorman and you have to keep the robot cats out of the nightclub. At higher levels the cats don clever disguises. Here is a cat hiding behind an elephant:

(Shoehorn, Wed 31 Oct 2001, 4:44, archived)

that sounds like

an amazing game. Let everyone know when it's done.

Are the penguins allowed in?

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Wed 31 Oct 2001, 4:47, archived)

er um

(

automatton52 Grumpy old goth, Tue 30 Oct 2001, 17:18, archived)

I used to hate it when my parents

dressed up for family functions too.

(

pep, Tue 30 Oct 2001, 18:44, archived)

basil the cat (via RIK)

-- he says, "just been cruzin your site and was looking at the past entrys and i was looking at your cat pics (the edited ones) and i thought i reconised it....anyways i went to the cinema and to my eyes i couldn't beleve it....its your fuckin cat in the new bond film.....THE BIRD IS NOT ENOUGH...they musta filmed this some time ago and held it cause of your poor cat passing away...but anyways its a great film and i did get a pic of the poster."

(

rob, Wed 31 Oct 2001, 3:27, archived)

is that slipnot?

(btw: people = shit is the best song ever written)

(

rob, Wed 31 Oct 2001, 3:54, archived)

does anyone else have pictures of Slipknot

before they were famous?

(

automatton52 Grumpy old goth, Wed 31 Oct 2001, 4:23, archived)

Newbie...

however, i'd lend you my bird if i had one.

(Xawie, Tue 30 Oct 2001, 15:09, archived)

Thats very decent of

you. Find one - and we will be happy to take her off of your hands for a while.

(bastardizor, Wed 31 Oct 2001, 2:53, archived)

anyone noticed...

...how crab bloke looks a lot like simon pegg out of the truley brilliant c4 program "spaced"...?

(SuperAndrew, Tue 30 Oct 2001, 15:03, archived)

Why

Does he have ten legs aswell?

(

nicey, Tue 30 Oct 2001, 16:42, archived)

Doughty...!

(FoxA / DannyWeinkauf, Tue 30 Oct 2001, 13:10, archived)

I thought they were quite rare?

They get about a bit for a rare breed...

(

pep, Tue 30 Oct 2001, 18:43, archived)

i absolutely love this project:

http://www.hoopla.org/Carousel/index.htm
perhaps you should think about getting XFM to pay for a B3TA version to replace the london eye...

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Tue 30 Oct 2001, 12:36, archived)

'cept

ours could have weird ass photoshop designs....

(Naughty Tortoise, Tue 30 Oct 2001, 12:58, archived)

I've always,

always, always wanted to see Jamie Oliver being eaten by a bear while patting a small dog on the head.

(

AndyK, Tue 30 Oct 2001, 11:57, archived)

Jamie looks suprisingly casual

about his predicamdent. if not slightly camp.

(

rob, Tue 30 Oct 2001, 12:27, archived)

Did you see him on the TV last night?

Are his friends really stupid enough to invite a camera crew to their sprogs christening?

(james, Wed 31 Oct 2001, 3:48, archived)

sorry to post such a large image,

but this is gonna be part of the web site that me and ozy are working on, & I thought this would be a good place to run a trial...

(bastardizor, Tue 30 Oct 2001, 10:53, archived)

I like the disclaimer

and I want a job like that :-)

(seanizer, Tue 30 Oct 2001, 11:04, archived)

try before you buy?

do you take the blokes out before you take out their ladies?

(

pep, Tue 30 Oct 2001, 11:26, archived)

we can do,

sort of a 'getting to know the clients needs' session.

extras available at our discretion....

(bastardizor, Tue 30 Oct 2001, 11:28, archived)

anyway off to

the pub now.

see you all tomorrow!

(bastardizor, Tue 30 Oct 2001, 11:30, archived)

I could lend you this bird

But he belongs here: www.stevebloom.com/index.php?page=results&pageno=1&keyword_options=and&submit=keywords_search&keywords_search=toucan&animal=&theme=
so you can only borrow him

(

mrbrong, Tue 30 Oct 2001, 11:15, archived)

WAHAY!!!

Its working already!

How long can we borrow him for?

By the way - the email address is real too.

(bastardizor, Tue 30 Oct 2001, 11:20, archived)

Wot even my missus ?

Hands her over and runs.

(anat0010, Tue 30 Oct 2001, 11:26, archived)

you really should move

into the mormon market.
(i think theyre the ones with many wives anyway)

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Tue 30 Oct 2001, 11:31, archived)

who say's we ain't!

There our biggest clients....

(ozy, Tue 30 Oct 2001, 11:32, archived)

he speaks...

...

(

AndyK, Tue 30 Oct 2001, 11:36, archived)

Rainbow allways frightened me

(

hal9000 sme, Tue 30 Oct 2001, 10:46, archived)

unPC beer

Apparently the last beer went down really well in Mormon UTAH.

(james, Tue 30 Oct 2001, 9:50, archived)

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