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This is a question Where Did It All Go Wrong?

Woocfot asks: Tell us all about that turning point in your life when it started going downhill. Yeah, that drunken conversation with my dad when he suggested I become a civil servant. Dammit, I could have been an astronaut

(, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 11:32)
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November 1991
I got clopped.

I was young and stupid.

I see that as the beginning of my slide into feculent misanthropy, raging alcoholism, sexual deviancy, manic depression and persistent inability to face reality.

I would kill myself, except I'm too much of a coward. Also, the prospect of another Fall album, and a new series of Doctor Who, keeps me going. Yes I am that shallow. It's the only way to cope. Constant distraction.

Now for another pint (my 4th of the evening and by no means the last) before Charlie Brooker's Weekly Wipe.

Before anyone accuses me of wallowing in self-pity, I'm not. These are the facts; this is how I deal. On these terms, I am happy.
(, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 21:03, 21 replies)
What?

(, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 21:08, closed)
Man leads piss awful life. Swops it for living death.

(, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 21:14, closed)
It's something about haircuts, being shot or being knocked off a bike, dunno which

(, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 21:15, closed)
bus ticket innit

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 7:48, closed)
Being arrested?

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 8:47, closed)
What?

(, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 21:15, closed)
What'd you get done for?

(, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 21:19, closed)
What?

(, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 22:19, closed)
What?

(, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 22:22, closed)
Eh?

(, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 22:33, closed)
You bought an over-priced drink in a strip club?
A moment of gullibility is hardly worth ruining your life for. Get over it.
(, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 22:33, closed)
What?

(, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 23:45, closed)
What??

(, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 23:46, closed)
In the butt???

(, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 23:46, closed)
I read that as "Snipped"
...damn but thats a harsh way to react to a vasectomy.
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 0:05, closed)
I've read this three times now and nope, nothing.
What do you mean by 'clipped'? It must be something really bad if a children's television programme and a new recording by a clapped-out northern speedfreak are all that's keeping you from suicide.
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 8:43, closed)


(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 11:40, closed)
Captive birds are never truly happy,
but typing this out with your beak is an impressive achievement.
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 8:55, closed)
Clipped = Drunk, which would make sense. Unless he means vasectomy?
I wouldn't worry except that the last Fall album was poor.
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 9:15, closed)
What?

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 9:23, closed)
He's a nullo
Ha his cock chopped off, like that chap Enzyme
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 10:15, closed)
Clickin dis

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 11:56, closed)
Haha, yeah

(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 12:39, closed)
I can only echo
WTF?
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 14:17, closed)
No fucking way
is Mark E. Smith clapped out. Just listen to Imperial Wax Solvent, Your Future Our Clutter or Ersatz G.B.!
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 19:55, closed)
Oh and I mean "clopped"
not "clipped" [post corrected now}.

Hope that's cleared things up.
(, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 19:58, closed)
You were raped by a horse?

(, Sat 2 Mar 2013, 10:59, closed)
Someone ejaculated onto your eyeball?

(, Sat 2 Mar 2013, 17:16, closed)

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