And my nomination for B3ta Person of the year 2010 goes to…

*Opens Envelope*

*Dramatic Pause – maybe left a bit ‘tooo’ long in a sort of annoying, ‘Chris Tarrant’ kind of way*
…

It goes to you.

That’s right, you. Go and look in a mirror, or see if you can catch your reflection in that knife you’re holding. Yep, that’s the fucker I’m talking about.

Why? Because you made it, kiddo. Now, I don’t want to count any chickens or anything, as the year isn’t quite finished yet, but all being well and good you will cross the finish line of 2010.

That is no mean feat. Some others haven’t been so lucky. Please spare them a thought.

But you made it - despite being battered by recessions, repossessions, depressions and Beer sessions. You’re still here – and you’ve still found the time to visit B3ta. I salute you.

You raised your head out of the sloppy sea of unadulterated ubershite that passes for mainstream entertainment nowadays, and you stayed sane; choosing not to gouge your own eyes out with a spoon, and becoming better for it. Perhaps this place helped a little bit? – one of the few remaining bastions of free speech that remains? It gives you a simple opportunity to vent some of life’s crappier dealings by spaffing your unique offerings over these pages. This is something which you do selflessly, free of charge, purely for the interest of others. That is some achievement. So kudos.

2010 hasn’t been easy – no doubt sometimes fate has given you a proper kick in the love spuds (or lady equivalent), but you persevered and overall you didn’t let it get to you. That ability is often taken for granted nowadays, but the way the world can be sometimes, you deserve a medal simply for not going batshit postal. Well done.

So here’s to the small victories, the little wins, the things that might not mean fuck-diddly-all to most folk but managed to make at least one of your days just that little bit better. Fuck me, they mean the world when they happen, so enjoy them – you deserve them.

To every gentle B3tard, from the vitriolic trolls to the long-time lurkers, from the quick quippers to the ‘encyclopedia B3tannica’ posters, and from the legendary lethario, MASSIVE DRUG taking, Honda Accord drivers of Justice to the lonely, lie-filled losers…Thank you, and please don’t change, this place wouldn’t be the same without you.

Please don’t get the wrong idea - I’m not suggesting Détente here, in a sort of ‘football-in-no-man’s-land’ kind of way. Nah, that’d be as dull as Hippo poo. But how about giving someone a click for Christmas just for the hell of it? It don’t cost nuthin’ and it might make someone’s day.

And remember, learning to click yourself can be the greatest love of all.
(Mr Twisty Cheeky The worst kept secret in B3ta..., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 10:30, 19 replies)

yeah!!
*raising fists in a triumphal salute before wandering off to try and find a cup of tea.*
(jennymnemonic, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 11:08, closed)

I have a cup of tea you can have
It has become slightly tepid, so you might want to be be quick
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 15:16, closed)

I absolutely agree.
I am, afterall, absolutely fucking marvellous.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 11:17, closed)

This wins!

( girlinthehole, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 11:20, closed)

Best written, everyone deserves a pat on the back post so far.
*clicky*

Fuck me, it has been a tuff year hasn't it!
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 11:23, closed)

God yes
I really like this one, all bitter hateful sarcasm aside.
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 4:23, closed)

I think I have to clear something up here...

I'm not being sarcastic - Personally 2010 started of cruddily for me but then turned around and ended up alright. I don't think I'm the only one and that's what this post is about.

But sorry, I'm an 'old school' B3tard - I loved the comparative to us all being like a 'special school' - it just tickled my miniscule funny bone.

Maybe Santa will bring me the B3ta rules of what can and cannot be misconstrued for Christmas.

...or a sense of humour. On the internet.

I haven't been here for a while - I had no idea how much has changed.
(Mr Twisty Cheeky The worst kept secret in B3ta..., Tue 21 Dec 2010, 8:00, closed)

Are we 'all winners'...
...in a similar fashion to the participants of a sports day at the 'special school'?
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 12:31, closed)

That's EXACTLY what I was trying to say...

Well done you for saying it better in one quick line than I managed to do in a floppy fat wad of dialogue...

(that I can't even look at now without hearing the theme to 'The Dambusters' in my head)
(Mr Twisty Cheeky The worst kept secret in B3ta..., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 12:46, closed)

Jesus Christ, really?!
All that effort to have a sarcastic pop at strangers on the internet?

Wow.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 12:59, closed)

Isn't that the very lifeblood of this place?
(Apart from knob-jokes, of course.)
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 13:04, closed)

Well...

We are all special.

and winners.

Well...some of us anyway.

I'm just trying to spread the love :)
(Mr Twisty Cheeky The worst kept secret in B3ta..., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 13:06, closed)

Oh sarcasm, I take my click back.
bah-humbug!
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 13:47, closed)

Oh I dunno, I agree that b3ta is like a 'special' school
and we should reglularly embrace our inner mong. Praps the OP is being upfront but means it that way?

Still gets my CLick
(King Nightmare, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 13:55, closed)

Spat coffee over the keyboard at..
...'embrace our inner mong'.

Dunno how I'll get this into conversation but dammit I'll try!
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 14:11, closed)

Embrace our inner mong...
Argle bargle moomph fluffikins! holds out arms
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 4:24, closed)

i'm too busy licking windows
to read this.
(stonersmurf stuckin' foned, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 14:23, closed)

yeah!
because looking at a mediocre website full of dancing kittens as a means to stave off boredom or avoid work is preferable to doing something constructive with our lives. Yay us!

oh wait...
(Miss B3thpot, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 14:48, closed)

*Sniff*

( DeadEyeDick, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 14:58, closed)