PEAROAST
Imagine yourself at Lancaster University in 2001. Just for a minute.

Bloke meets girl on college bar crawl. Bloke and girl get snogging, bloke and girl decide to have sex in her room.

They go back to the room and the girl prepares a lovely nightcap, some sort of warmed mysterious liqueur that the guy hasn't experienced before, but it goes down very well apparently.

What happened immediately after that is rather inconsequential, I believe that they had mediocre-to-good sex, and fell asleep together.

However.

Chap wakes up early the next morning to a rather unsavoury smell, and a feeling of unwelcome and unexpected groinal warmth. He looks down and realises he is wearing a nappy. A full nappy.

Is terrified. Tries to leave without waking girl but she catches him and starts desperately trying to pull off the nappy, and this is the lovely part, she was screaming "Good baby, good baby!!".

She eventually rips the nappy off and sets about wiping the contents all over herself. Man leaves. Man cries. Man has a shower.

So they tell me.
(Waspard has your wank bank account details, Tue 28 Jun 2011, 7:57, 21 replies)

Parachoc mixed with rohypnol?

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Tue 28 Jun 2011, 8:14, closed)

I'm confused.
Is this date rape, or not?

Also, did you have to soil the nappy?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 28 Jun 2011, 8:43, closed)

this
he still shat himself...
( zulu eh?, Tue 28 Jun 2011, 21:37, closed)

Freud is quite literally wanking in his grave.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 28 Jun 2011, 8:48, closed)

What. The. Fuck?

( pixel_fucker is going to need a bigger brush, Tue 28 Jun 2011, 8:55, closed)

It's an urban legend going back at least as far as the early nineties.
I suppose there might be real life baby poo fetishists out there in the wilds. I might google for videos at lunch.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 28 Jun 2011, 9:34, closed)

I'm heading to Specsavers
I read that as "I might google for videos for lunch."
( snee held his breath since, Tue 28 Jun 2011, 9:39, closed)

You unfeeling gutter turd.
My uncle Sigmund died wanking in a grave.
( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 28 Jun 2011, 8:56, closed)

my great uncles best friend died when he fell in to a grave whilst wanking in a nappy at his local cematary
ffs some people have no hearts or feelings
( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Tue 28 Jun 2011, 10:07, closed)

I heard it was a piece of waxed, knotted rope, and she shoved it up his arse then pulled it out, making him shit.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 28 Jun 2011, 9:40, closed)

^^^^^
This*
*Rings a bell.
( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 28 Jun 2011, 9:42, closed)

I've heard that one.

(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Tue 28 Jun 2011, 9:43, closed)

I recall it being a silk scarf

( snee held his breath since, Tue 28 Jun 2011, 10:01, closed)

It was barbed wire when they did it to me in prison.
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Tue 28 Jun 2011, 10:34, closed)

Barbed wire?
Tsk.
You were lucky.
(SpangoTheWonderBadger is brewing beer, Tue 28 Jun 2011, 10:41, closed)

I heard it was tinsel
And he was a dog.
(electricteeth, Tue 28 Jun 2011, 11:15, closed)

Tinsel is a stupid name for a dog
But fuzzywuzzy was a woman...
( snee held his breath since, Tue 28 Jun 2011, 11:20, closed)

It's German.
For 'tinsel'.
(electricteeth, Tue 28 Jun 2011, 14:32, closed)

I heard something similar in the late 80s
Except she'd curled one out on his chest and left before he awoke.
(Cameltoad, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 6:41, closed)

did it stop you from bting your nails after scratching your arse?

( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Tue 28 Jun 2011, 11:34, closed)

Not in my room
As a graduate of said university about 8 years earlier I hope that didn't happen in my room!! Some of those Fylde girls can be a bit strange.
(Designated Slagger, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 14:02, closed)