Some of the best food is drunk food.
Can of baked beans with half a block of cheese melted in. Hell yes!
(nolongernuts, Fri 27 May 2011, 7:58, 28 replies)

Hell no.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 May 2011, 8:24, closed)

darn tooting.

( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Fri 27 May 2011, 8:30, closed)

Miaow!

(TheColonel, Fri 27 May 2011, 8:34, closed)

Monty, this is clearly the deranged ramblings of someone who has suffered a complete mental breakdown
after the loss of their mother, the kind of breakdown that culminates in assaulting innocent members of the public at sports games, abusing household pets, and the sending of bumhole pictures to those whose mortgages she wants to pay off.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 27 May 2011, 8:50, closed)

You know what Al, all the other shit fair enough, have your prattle about
but leave my mums death out of this. Just fucking leave that one alone, ok?
(nolongernuts, Fri 27 May 2011, 9:06, closed)

You don't think that's got anything to do with the fact that you spend your time
making up fantasy lives on the internet?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 27 May 2011, 9:12, closed)

Want me to email you the death certificate and obituaries?
It was rogerthestarfish I made up as you full well know. The other stuff, be as vitriolic as you like, but leave my mum's death out of it you fucking cunt.
(nolongernuts, Fri 27 May 2011, 9:15, closed)

I'm not questioning the fact that she's passed away.
What I'm saying is that don't you think the fact that you appear to have some fairly massive unresolved issues regarding her passing might be the reason you a) have an eating disorder and b) invent fantasy lives on an internet forum.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 27 May 2011, 9:17, closed)

Hello mr internet shrink,
fact. Since she passed I've gone downhill, you can take the piss all you like out of the roger stuff, I don't fucking care, but quit fucking commenting on all my posts about my mum.

Don't see you doing it to rswipe, beckyletters, kennymartin etc, but they all mention their losses. Get it, you stupid, mean fuck?
(nolongernuts, Fri 27 May 2011, 9:21, closed)

Yes, but, unlike them, you're a loony.
In real life that's cause for sympathy; on the Internet you're a figure of fun. And justly so; it's like seeing someone screaming and wibbling in the street, rather than having to deal with someone you actually know.

Also, baked beans and cheese sounds vile and stringy.
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Fri 27 May 2011, 11:23, closed)

Just fucking leave my mums death alone
you stupid fucking cunt. Some things are just off limits.
(nolongernuts, Fri 27 May 2011, 9:29, closed)

Did she like Caramac bars? They sale caramac bars across the road now.
I thought they stopped selling them but was pleasently supprised to find they are still around.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 27 May 2011, 9:34, closed)

Did your dad like them?
How long's he been dead?
don't see Al taking the piss here......
(nolongernuts, Fri 27 May 2011, 9:50, closed)

No, he liked dark chocolate, loved a bit of Bournevile, but you can get that anywhere.
4 years, give or take a week or so.

I think Bournvile is a man's chocolate and Caramac is a women's 'chocolate', I use the word 'chocolate' in a lose sense because there is no chocolate in it. My friend's girlfriend is alergic but can have Carmac.

I was sad that my Dad died but am pleased that I can buy Caramac, so it's all give and take.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 27 May 2011, 10:30, closed)

Indeed!
Baked beans are just wrong.
( Geoff the Clownfish You know Myra, some people might think you're cute, Fri 27 May 2011, 10:19, closed)

i can see this little tiff is going to run for a while

( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Fri 27 May 2011, 19:30, closed)

I doubt it.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 27 May 2011, 19:59, closed)

Dangerous though
A bloke near here died of smoke inhalation after falling drunkenly asleep at the kitchen table while waiting for a pizza to bake. Unforgivably, he also killed his pet dog.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Fri 27 May 2011, 9:27, closed)

I once had a mate
who awoke in the morning after a night's drinking to find the oven on, and a lump of lignite in it that had, several hours earlier, been a pizza.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Fri 27 May 2011, 10:05, closed)

BLOODY lucky escape, there.

(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Fri 27 May 2011, 10:17, closed)

I'm not sure it's all that lucky.
An oven door-seal should be able to withstand a few hours of heat, surely? I assume that there'd've been a fair amount of smoke when he opened the door, but there's no obvious reason why a well-maintained oven wouldn't be perfectly safe.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Fri 27 May 2011, 10:25, closed)

Years ago in bedsit land
I passed out with a dole mixed grill (burger, sausage, potato waffle) under the grill on the baby belling.
Woke up in a haze of blue smoke with a cough that lasted a week. Oops!
( Geoff the Clownfish You know Myra, some people might think you're cute, Fri 27 May 2011, 10:31, closed)

Yes, it is very dangerous, especially in a small kitchen with the doors and windows shut.
You'd have to be passed out drunk in that kitchen. Happens more than you'd think.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Fri 27 May 2011, 14:22, closed)

Top tip
Never use the spare key your mate gave you when she went on holiday to secretly let yourself in and watch her cable TV. Certainly don't make things worse by forgetting you were cooking a pizza thus welding it to the back of the oven, horizontally, like a cheesy black shelf.
( AWPS, Fri 27 May 2011, 10:35, closed)

I concur!
Toast + fried egg + baked beans + melted edam.

It's filthy, but I love it.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Fri 27 May 2011, 10:31, closed)

Tin of tomatoes
poured into a bowl, warmed in the microwave, and seasoned with pepper, Tabasco, and a mozzarella garnish.

Nom nom nom nom....
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Fri 27 May 2011, 10:46, closed)

Im hungry but I'm too drunk to cook
www.youtube.com/watch?v=We-KynUnKgsat 3.21
(unclestinky, Sat 28 May 2011, 20:39, closed)

If I get a takeaway pizza
I ask for baked beans as a topping.

The first time I asked for it, with the way the people in the shop looked at me, I thought that 'baked beans' was possibly Urdu for 'dog turd'.
( His Popiness the Hole Invaded Poland on, Mon 30 May 2011, 22:04, closed)