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This is a question Break-up Stories

Freddie Woo sends us a tale of woe which ends: "I could live with being cheated on. What really got me that there was clearly a third person holding the camera, and the arse pummeling up and down sometimes had a tattoo, sometimes it didn't. I moved out that day." Tell us about how a relationship's come crashing down around you.

(I helped save b3ta! Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 13:18)
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I broke up with my missus when she was pregnant with my child
and then couldn't understand why she might not want me and my mum present at the birth, because I have the brains of a fucking amoeba.
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 14:28, 46 replies)
why do you give people ammunition?

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 14:31, closed)
sorry i meant something something lego baby

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 14:31, closed)
*really slow hand clap*

(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 14:34, closed)
wait, i get it now
who is this aimed at?
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 14:45, closed)
or did you actually do that?

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 14:45, closed)

b3ta.com/questions/breakingup/post2087179
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 14:54, closed)
you didn't actually answer my question
still not following you here
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 14:56, closed)
I've no idea either but this post makes him either a massive cunt or a massive internet bully cunt.
Either way I'm appalled.
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 15:14, closed)
Good.

(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 15:19, closed)
awesome!

(AWESOMEB0T meddling prick, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 15:22, closed)
not getting the joke here
you're going to have to spell it out
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 15:36, closed)
My mum spent TWO WHOLE HOURS travelling to the hospital and everything!
So unreasonable!
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 16:12, closed)
My best guess is it's about someone from 'ere.
But I too have no idea who it is.
(Thor McLegend FUCK SHITPANTS PAC MAN, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 16:58, closed)
It's about me.
Poor old Emvee here is still smarting from the lighthearted teasing I've given him over the years, and I think all this is his way of coping, bless him. It's a shame that he hasn't found a way to make it funny, because I genuinely don't mind at all....but he looks to me like he's coming across like a spiteful little queer.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 17:22, closed)
To be fair
I don't think it's possible to make this story funny. Not laugh out loud funny, anyway.

Do you not have any light hearted/jovial tales you could tell him?
(Thor McLegend FUCK SHITPANTS PAC MAN, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 18:11, closed)
I have loads, but the oaf has me on ignore so I can't pass them on

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 18:23, closed)
This would be a much better place
If everyone would stop ignoring everyone else.
(Thor McLegend FUCK SHITPANTS PAC MAN, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 18:26, closed)
you are so right

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 19:01, closed)
He's not done this very well, if you've had to come here and explain what the fuck he was attempting.

(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 18:29, closed)
Tell me more about this 'lego baby'

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 15:05, closed)


(I helped save b3ta! Muns, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 15:17, closed)
Emvee has those where normal folk have nipples.

(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 15:19, closed)
Does he take the blue one and see how far up his wee hole it goes?

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 15:22, closed)
Chortle of the day.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 18:56, closed)
Why are they in straight jackets?

(Woodlouse say it with flowers. Send her a Triffid, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 15:46, closed)
Makes it harder for them to call the police, one would assume.

(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Fri 13 Sep 2013, 15:48, closed)

why do you give people ammunition okay, who's hacked his account THIS time
(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 15:38, closed)
You're a class act,
you are.
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 14:37, closed)
I know
She was the best looking crackwhore in Kentish Town though
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 14:39, closed)
Living the dream!

(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 15:58, closed)
How dare you expect people to believe that a woman would willingly breed with you.
At least try and make it convincing.
(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 15:18, closed)
She was on crack most of the time
I seriously doubt she'd have had sex with me willingly
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 15:36, closed)
You're really shit at all this aren't you?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 15:29, closed)
Weakly sniping at people you have on ignore is a bit weepy Australian, init?

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 18:58, closed)
At least when old Fairholme does it you can tell who he's on about.

(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 19:26, closed)
Please do not post my real name or any other details you may have found out about me.
It's best not to use your real names on any messageboard, and posting other people's real names when they'd rather they weren't known is a big no-no, and the same applies to any kind of private details.
(s0ckpuppet logging out to reply to you if you're not careful, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 3:54, closed)
LOL DOX

(Eukanuba, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 10:36, closed)
Totes!

(s0ckpuppet logging out to reply to you if you're not careful, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 12:57, closed)
This would have more weight if you hadn't sent a facebook friend request to a fake account of a pretty girl, Rob.
Derp.
(alright alright, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 16:05, closed)
I'm sorry to say
that it's taken me far too long to realise who you were aping, here.

Should have twigged sooner, as it seems to be the done thing, this week.
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 19:44, closed)
I was kind of enjoying it when people thought it was actually me
and that I really was a "massive cunt" in real life :)
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 13 Sep 2013, 21:31, closed)
You certainly seem to be a massive cunt on the internet.

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 18:41, closed)
It's just banter
on a comedy messageboard
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Sun 15 Sep 2013, 8:32, closed)
It was a compliment, this place would be dull as fuck without massive internet cunts.

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 15 Sep 2013, 12:07, closed)
Is
there a star wars pun in there somewhere?
(I helped save b3ta! social hand grenade I was a lurker before you were a lurker, Sat 14 Sep 2013, 15:57, closed)
...then I had all my limbs cut off and I fell into a volcano

(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Mon 16 Sep 2013, 8:28, closed)

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