Wherever you are in the world
A box of PG Tips and a jar of Marmite will see you all right. Pretty much anything else can be bought locally (for a price) but if you don't have the basic essentials then you're going to be very unhappy.

Oddly enough, I don't even eat that much Marmite when I'm in Blighty, but I do develop a strange craving for it when abroad.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 24 Apr 2014, 14:11, 55 replies)

Heinz beans
are pretty rare outside of the UK.

When I was abroad, I asked my brother who was coming to stay to bring some, which he did.

His 4 year old son then decided he didn't like the local food, and fucking at the lot of them.
(username failed moderation, Thu 24 Apr 2014, 14:18, closed)

I don't eat beans, so not a problem

( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 24 Apr 2014, 14:53, closed)

Awww man.
I hate it when I can't tell whether people are being hilarious trolls or are genuinely tragic human beings.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 24 Apr 2014, 14:25, closed)

It's your pure empathy
Shining through. You're just too nice for god's sake...
(Deskbound You insignificant speck of dust, Thu 24 Apr 2014, 14:26, closed)

my soul is too beautiful for this cruel cynical world

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 24 Apr 2014, 14:35, closed)

I no babez

(Deskbound You insignificant speck of dust, Thu 24 Apr 2014, 14:51, closed)

You could always release it and kill yourself

(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Thu 24 Apr 2014, 16:43, closed)

I don't think the universe is yet ready for that supernova of joy and love

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 24 Apr 2014, 17:24, closed)

In this instance, the user name should help you.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 24 Apr 2014, 14:31, closed)

I honestly dunno.
We have mutual acquaintances who assure me that although he's an infantile dweeb he's not a complete retard. Surely our favourite rasta pirate doesn't take teabags on fucking aeroplanes.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 24 Apr 2014, 14:40, closed)

I'm not talking about jetting to Spain for a week, you spaz
When I went to work in South America, did I take teabags on the fucking aeroplane? You bet I did. It was either that or spend a year without a decent cup of tea.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 24 Apr 2014, 15:07, closed)

On a 'gip yah' were you?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 24 Apr 2014, 15:24, closed)

No, I was working
Living in South America and earning US dollars is a great combination if you want to build up some cash
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 24 Apr 2014, 15:37, closed)

I like how the general 'take cheap teabags and marmite wherever' rule
has rapidly become a specific instance of not being able to buy decent tea when a wealthy business chap in south america. Even though it's piss easy to buy proper tea almost anywhere there if you've got dollars and don't mind a hefty mark up.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 24 Apr 2014, 15:57, closed)

I find it morally repugnant
All proper tea is theft after all
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Thu 24 Apr 2014, 16:44, closed)

tell you what though
I know they've got a history of commies in Latin America but they drink a fucking awful indigenous non-tea as well. Coincidence? Probably. It's actually worse than that rooibos pizzle.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 24 Apr 2014, 16:48, closed)

Never been.
I have only started travelling abroad relatively recently and Latin America is one of the places i want to visit.
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Thu 24 Apr 2014, 17:20, closed)

don't drink the 'tea'
or ... you know ... get carjacked or kidnapped and buttraped by drug barons

but mostly don't drink the 'tea'
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 24 Apr 2014, 17:23, closed)

Should you find yourself there, try mate
Unlike the aforementioned rooibos which is pointless, horrible stuff, mate contains quite high levels of caffeine and is quite a pleasant way of socialising with the locals.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 24 Apr 2014, 17:35, closed)

that's the stuff
I suppose it'd be almost tolerable to the sort of pleb who drinks tea dust boiled in a paper bag.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 24 Apr 2014, 17:43, closed)

that's the troll vs tragedy question answered

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 24 Apr 2014, 15:33, closed)

Oh yeah man, you sure showed me
Wow, I drink tea, what a personal disaster
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 24 Apr 2014, 15:39, closed)

we're glossing over the marmite for a bit, yeah?
prolly for the best
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 24 Apr 2014, 15:47, closed)

Oh noes I sometimes like Marmite on toast
so I put a little jar in my suitcase when spending extended periods abroad...what a total catastrophe my life must be.

You utter spastic.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 24 Apr 2014, 16:03, closed)

I'm not judging you.
If you're happy admitting to being a hilarious stereotype of the engerlish abroad then I'm happy to sneer at you.

Everyone's a winner. Except you and your little suitcase of reassuring home.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 24 Apr 2014, 16:07, closed)

I've lived and worked all over the world
In every country I've learnt some of the language, eaten the local cuisine, made friends with the natives and otherwise immersed myself in as much of the culture as possible. However, I drink tea very regularly and eat marmite on toast occasionally, so I prepare myself for those eventualities. You'd have to be some kind of cretin not to.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 24 Apr 2014, 16:26, closed)

I can't help but picture you two, sitting in a room together,
getting increasingly frisky between posts.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 24 Apr 2014, 16:50, closed)

Pint of mind bleach please.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 24 Apr 2014, 16:57, closed)

Ah come on ... who doesn't want to watch grizzly adams fucking rastamouse?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 24 Apr 2014, 17:11, closed)

No way are you cool enough to be Rastamouse
Penfold from Dangermouse, maybe
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 24 Apr 2014, 17:26, closed)

this might be the cutest 'I know you are but what am I?' ever, you perfumed bumfluff dwarf

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 24 Apr 2014, 17:47, closed)

I thought I'd bring the argument down to your level
as anything above playground-grade banter seems to confuse you
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 24 Apr 2014, 17:50, closed)

oh pudding
you've even less chance of convincing anybody of your intellect than of your stature and gruff manliness
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 24 Apr 2014, 17:55, closed)

You're the one trying to convince people he's Grizzly Adams
rather than a sad little intertit with crippling autism
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 24 Apr 2014, 17:58, closed)

soz, cheaptea
didn't mean to upset you
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 24 Apr 2014, 18:17, closed)

Not at all
I find your Napoleon complex fascinating
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 24 Apr 2014, 19:49, closed)

Have neither of you come, yet?
Tantric, is what this is.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 24 Apr 2014, 20:18, closed)

ahaha

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 24 Apr 2014, 18:17, closed)

this website has its own definition of "troll"

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 24 Apr 2014, 14:32, closed)

but emvee's confession would be the more conventional understanding of the term
assuming he isn't actually a fucking cripplewit tragedy who takes cornershop staples when he goes to Forrin
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 24 Apr 2014, 14:37, closed)

'Dos Heineken poor favour'
'Ain't it great it get English larrrger when you're on 'oliday?'
'Yer. Don't want any of that forren crap bruv'.
'Oi Stavros, put the arsenal game on'
'Pass me that copy of the Daily Star, I wanna see what happened in Eastenders last night'
'Here you go son. Tell ya wot, I can't wait for a ruby when we get back, I'm getting bored wiv burgers'
'Burgers are better than that payellya muck'.
'Fackin daygoes'.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 24 Apr 2014, 14:46, closed)

I think you flatter
shambollocks by calling him a troll.

He seems to just be a dickhead.
(username failed moderation, Fri 25 Apr 2014, 9:11, closed)

^logging out so he can be upset online^

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 25 Apr 2014, 17:55, closed)

FFS
There may be great local food at my destination, but there's bound to be ludicrous price gouging in the grocers and supermarkets in the resort areas.

Way I see it, it's my holiday; I'll take what I want.
( joefish It's hard for thee to kick against the pricks, Thu 24 Apr 2014, 15:38, closed)

lol package chav

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 24 Apr 2014, 15:40, closed)

LOL diarrhetic soap-dodger.

( joefish It's hard for thee to kick against the pricks, Thu 24 Apr 2014, 18:27, closed)

dunno what that is soz
even after your third edit
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 24 Apr 2014, 18:29, closed)

I haven't done the third one yet.
Turns out I actually spelt 'diarrhetic' correctly on the second one.
I could change it again if you like.
( joefish It's hard for thee to kick against the pricks, Thu 24 Apr 2014, 18:38, closed)

it wasn't so much the spelling as the complete lack of meaning

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 24 Apr 2014, 18:41, closed)

If you're travelling to poorer places, and you're a smoker, take along a retailers box of Rizla.
The versions you get elsewhere tend to be of inferior quality, and often have no gummed strips or anything. This shit is better than dollars when haggling with a dodgy opium merchant.
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Thu 24 Apr 2014, 14:46, closed)

is there another dealer in the next window doing black market pritt sticks?

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 24 Apr 2014, 18:18, closed)

I never liked Marmite until I stayed in a hostel in London full of forrins.
Turns out it makes a formidable French repellent.
It's like rolling out a Union Jack beach towel on the breakfast table.
Well worth the trouble of getting to like it.
( joefish It's hard for thee to kick against the pricks, Thu 24 Apr 2014, 18:36, closed)

You'll never got a decent cup of tea from PG tips
that stuff is beastly, you need Twinings daling
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Fri 25 Apr 2014, 9:19, closed)

Ethnic Foods
PG Tips, Marmite _and_ Heinz beans are in the "ethnic foods" section of the Publix supermarket in Franklin, Tennessee, USA. Next to the dried squid.
(uncle_bud is not the jelly roll king., Fri 25 Apr 2014, 10:50, closed)