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This is a question Why will you burn in hell?

Repent ye sinners - Tell us about a dreadful thing you've done that means you'll burn in hell.

(, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 14:02)
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The Demon Organist of Location Withheld
I was called in to play the organ in a church.
I'd never played an organ before, so I found myself in an empty church in a quaint country village, just me and a massive organ. (I always feel uneasy when confronted with a massive organ, for some reason).

I ran through the hymns, trying to get a feel for it. The hymns were easy enough, but organ keyboards are not like piano keyboards, and I really needed to get in some proper practice before the big day.

So I bashed out the hymns again, and moved on to some stuff I knew a little better, seeing what of my repertoire worked at approximately a jillion decibels.

Edith Piaf? Yup.

Chucho Valdes? Nope.

System of a Down?

System of a Down?...
Yup. Emphatically Yup. Definitely Yup.

Metal on an Organ? Why not? Why, indeed, the hell not?

And so it was that a party of elderly ladies came in for their midday pray to find their stand-in organist bashing through Symphony of Destruction, Amon Amarth and Toxicity, dressed entirely in black and laughing like a man possessed. And I'm not talking about a little, weak-kneed titter here. I'm talking about a full-throated baritone cackle: 'Ah ha. Ah ha ha. BWAH HA HA HA HA HA!'.

And lo, as the painted eyes of long-dead saints looked down upon my blasphemous head, did one old lady came up unto me. And she spake thusly:
"Do you know any Motörhead?"

For the crime of being out-rocked by an old lady, I am going to go to hell.
(, Wed 18 Jul 2012, 16:29, 9 replies)
"Inspired by characters from Viz"

(, Wed 18 Jul 2012, 16:32, closed)
Whut, no massive organ jokes?
I come here to have my masculinity questioned, damnit, and I demand my due!
(, Wed 18 Jul 2012, 16:37, closed)

'I always feel uneasy when confronted with a massive organ, for some reason'

The joke was made, I quite liked this although it sounds familiar - Pearoast?
(, Wed 18 Jul 2012, 16:52, closed)
If you had a massive organ to joke about, I'd joke about it.
That OK?
(, Wed 18 Jul 2012, 17:06, closed)
That's more like it!
Ah, it's good to be back.
(, Wed 18 Jul 2012, 17:09, closed)
I, like everyone else, I expect,
read that as Demon Onanist. I trust that everyone else drifted off, imagining being showered in burning hot gobbets of ungodly jism?
(, Wed 18 Jul 2012, 16:50, closed)
This is my kind of post, so, many horned fingered clicks for you!
Awesome! I would have played some Devil Sold His Soul though, some beautiful keys on a few tracks!
(, Wed 18 Jul 2012, 17:15, closed)
I hope something you played featured a diminished fifth?

(, Wed 18 Jul 2012, 23:01, closed)
I was hoping for "In The Garden of Eden"
By Rev. I. Ron Butterfly
(, Wed 18 Jul 2012, 23:35, closed)
my brother used to play church organ
and used to play all sorts, he once had the Sunday School kids leave for lessons to the Monty Python theme. A mixture of giggles and confusion ensued.
(, Thu 19 Jul 2012, 10:32, closed)

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