"I'm vegetarian... but I eat fish"
FUCKING, FUCKING HELL

Well you're not vegetarian then, are you? You're pescetarian. That's the term for someone who eats fish, but doesn't eat meat from animals that walk on land or fly instead of swimming. Saying you're vegetarian is like claiming to be a gay man who has sex with women, or a music lover who likes a bit of Oasis. I can only think of three reasons why anyone would claim to be one thing and not the other;

1. You don't think fish are an animal. Because, presumably, they show none of the signs of life that cows and chickens do, like movement, procreation, all that bollocks, I don't know, I haven't done biology since I was 14 and I was shit at it then.

2. Somehow you think being vegetarian makes you better than those of us who eat meat. In my experience, very few herbivores choose to wave their dietary procilivities in our faces and make an issue of it. Most of them have worked out that if a person enjoys the taste of meat, being ranted at about their lifestyle choice by a scrawny bugger who would probably cheer the fuck up if they could just eat a fucking burger once in a while will probably not change their minds. The vast majority of veggies I know are lovely folk who don't define themselves by their diet. But if they did, they'd have more right to than you, you fish-killing cunt.

3. You didn't actually know the word "pescetarian" until just now. I eat meat, and I know the difference. Which is a bit like me walking into church holding up the missing preface to the Bible, which says "All characters contained herein are fictitious and any resemblance to figures living or dead is entirely coincidental".

Grr. Ms Foxtrot is vegematarian and gets less annoyed by this than I do. Then again if all you eat is rabbit food it's hard to work up the energy for a good rant, innit
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 15:00, 27 replies)

This is me but I call myself a vegetarian because I can never remember the word pescatarian.
And it sounds too silly.
( girlinthehole, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 15:01, closed)

"I'm an ovo-lacto vegetarian"
So, not a vegan, then?

The ones that kill me are 'flexitarians' - 'occasionally eat meat'. Why the fuck don't you just say that you don't eat meat that often? Or that you're just plain AWKWARD?!
(Iggy Pop's Teeth, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 15:04, closed)

The word for that is 'cheapskate'.
Isn't 'ovo-lacto vegetarian' redundant? If someone says they're a vegetarian I'll assume they eat eggs and dairy.
( Bob Todd whee, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 15:34, closed)

I think if someone described themself to me as pescetarian I'd punch them even harder in the face.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 15:08, closed)

Next time you are invited to an awkward pescatarian/vegetarian for dinner
Claim you are a carnetarian and ONLY eat meat and animal products and insist that no plant life is served in your presence.
( Michael Ellis contributes nothing, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 15:42, closed)

I think you're wrong there, you bumder, and here's why...
A carnvivor, like T Rex or a Lion, would only eat meat.

A herbivore (or vegetarian), like an orangutan or a tsintasaurus, would only eat veggies. And herbs, I imagine. Plant type foods then. Yes, that works.

A pescatarian would only eat fish.

So, surely veggies that eat fish are omnivores?!

Sorry for rambling but I can't see what I've typed out on my gay iPhone.
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Fri 9 Apr 2010, 15:12, closed)

It's short for "pesco-vegetarian"

(Iggy Pop's Teeth, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 15:14, closed)

YEAH

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 15:16, closed)

I had two girls who worked for me who were "vegetarians".
One ate fish and the other ate fish and duck. They were both nuts.
(Jimmy-Choo, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 15:20, closed)

Bzzz. Not true.
Then again if all you eat is rabbit food it's hard to work up the energy for a good rant, innit

Oh no, my friend. That's not the case at all. I eat meat only very, very rarely. Been like that for 30+ years, since college days. And when I do eat meat, it's only when I'm in some place where if I didn't, I would fucking starve. Like Texas. Or Korea. Or some parts of Germany. It's not that I'm one of those "meat is murder" jagoffs, or someone who believes that animals were babies once, with feelings and parents and babies of their own. I just don't like the taste or texture, and if I don't like something I see no reason why I should do it.

But I have plenty of energy for a bile-laden spittle-flecked rant. And one thing that'll set me off is vegetarians who wear their food preference like a cloak of martyr-dom. If I'm somewhere out to eat and the hosts have cooked meat, I'll thank them profusely for going to the trouble, ask for no meat, eat everything else on the plate, find something to compliment and thank them profusely. What I won't do is bitch and piss and moan about "how could you cook meat; you know I'm a dickheadvegetarian wah wah wah" and spend the rest of the evening sulking like a teenaged emo wuckfit. What is wrong with these self-absorbed pious and holier-than-thou wankers? What a cunch of bunts. When did your preference become a reason for anyone else to change?

My aged father was once, with his fur-clad wife, arriving for some posh do at which there were some anti-fur demonstrators. My noble father took exception to one oik, and asked him if he wore leather. The reply was "no". Did he eat meat? "No, I'm a vegan," in a self-righteous tone and manner. My wise father's response: "I thought so, son, your skin's terrible. Get some meat in you and those spots will soon clear up."

I adore my father.
(IHaveComeAmongThee__Twice Tissues on the left. Self-esteem on the right., Fri 9 Apr 2010, 15:32, closed)

^this
But I must point out that as a man living with a vegetarian, I'm well aware of their capabilities for vitriol
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 15:35, closed)

"Then again if all you eat is rabbit food it's hard to work up the energy for a good rant, innit"
"as a man living with a vegetarian, I'm well aware of their capabilities for vitriol"

Which is it then?
( Bob Todd whee, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 16:01, closed)

Depends on the time of the month
I love the below BTW
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 16:23, closed)

I use the word 'vegequarian' for the fish-eating pseudo-vegetarians.
It's more euphonious than pescetarian and easier to remember.
( Bob Todd whee, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 15:34, closed)

Excellent.
And perhaps vagueatarian for those who "sometimes" eat meat?
(Cave Duck, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 15:37, closed)

Hee hee, I like that.

( Bob Todd whee, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 15:42, closed)

Vagitarian
for those who like eating hairy kebabs?
( Weetobix, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 15:51, closed)

Don't be daft,
fish don't have fur or big brown eyes, and aren't at all cuddly. Therefore it's fine to eat them and still claim moral superiority.
(Cave Duck, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 15:34, closed)

Their stocks are being depleted and shit, though.
We're not in danger of running out of cows and chickens.
( Bob Todd whee, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 15:34, closed)

Everytime the subject comes up, a mate of mine asks his girlfriend
"So if I gave a cow a snorkel you'd have a steak?"
(TheColonel, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 15:34, closed)

Catholic monks used to get around the 'fish only; no lamb on Fridays' rule (or whatever it is Catholics do)
by 'fishing' a leg of lamb out of a well and eating it (the lamb, not the well).
( Bob Todd whee, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 15:36, closed)

In Abbottsbury, Dorset
There's a swannery. It was started by monks so they could eat them, as it was close enough to fish. Fucking hypocrites.
(thefuckestuppest cheapened this, on, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 13:32, closed)

I'm a pacifist
but I do kill Italians
( Weetobix, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 15:39, closed)

You may know what a pescetarian is, but I imagine most people would not. Therefore, if a pescetarian wants to describe his or herself, it is simplest to say that they are vegetarians, except for fish. Pretty much the only meat I ever eat is seafood, but it's not because I don't think fish are animals or I think I'm better than anyone else, I just don't like the taste or texture of most meat. Also, it tends to make me sick to my stomach when I eat it, probably because it's not part of my regular diet.

Oh, and I don't describe myself as a vegetarian or any subset of being a vegetarian, because if a dish is set in front of me heaping with meat, I will eat it no problem. I just won't enjoy it very much.
(Tarana, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 15:52, closed)

I went through a period of my only meat intake being non-fish seafood,
and I told people I didn't eat anything from the phylum Chordata, because I thought saying that would be quicker. It wasn't, because I'd then have to explain it.
( Bob Todd whee, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 16:00, closed)

now that's just shellfish...



thankyou, I'll be here all week.... try the fish!
( Weetobix, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 16:05, closed)

Similarly........
People who claim to be carnivores because they eat meat. The word you're not even grasping for is omnivore.
(nonstopdancer, Sat 10 Apr 2010, 22:11, closed)