Definitive
My mate Steve worked in a Government Health lab after leaving scholl in the early '80s.

His unbeatable claim to fame was having to look through a microscope at a high vaginal swab from TV dog trainer Barbara Woodhouse.
(Barnetboy, Sun 23 Sep 2012, 18:05, 3 replies)

In summary
Apart from work related encounters : Miranda Richardson bought me a pint of Draught Bass once, it was flat she wasn't.

I played in a 5 a side football team with Hank Marvin, our next door neighbours were Jehovah's Witnesses and knew him well.

At school my girlfriend's father with the dentist of late 70's popstrel Mari Wilson.

Cricket legend Jonathan Agnew has been to dinner at ours with his lovely wife, we have also been to theirs for a return fixture.

Former England goalkeeper Ray Clemence stopped his car to ask me for directions to the Strathdon Thistle hotel in Nottingham when he was manager of Barnet FC

My granny once made 22 pairs of trousers for Frank Sinatra as well as several pairs for Kaiser Wilhelm.

Oh and my wife is a newsreader.
(Barnetboy, Sun 23 Sep 2012, 17:54, 3 replies)

No, I'm not Rocky
I kept running into this large black guy at the local video store (remember those?). He seemed nice, and we spoke a few times regarding the selections. One day i stepped around the end of the aisle too quickly, and ran smack into him. He fell, hit his head, and was knocked cold.

And that is how I knocked out Carl Weathers, AKA Apollo Creed.
(danalan Pretty good, for an amateur., Sun 23 Sep 2012, 17:34, 1 reply)

Shane Embury,
Bassist from Napalm Death, was sold double glazing by my Bosses husband.
(kitescreech still here, Sun 23 Sep 2012, 17:30, Reply)

So as well as being on Playschool,
www.b3ta.com/questions/claimstofame2/post1736343
Here are my other claims to fame:

I sold Steve Coogan a toaster, Mad Frankie Fraser and electric fire and Mark Little an electric blanket.
I was at school with James Lance and uni with Tracy Shaw.
My uncle used to live in Thomas Hardy's house and I can remember playing in the study which was as Hardy had left it.
At uni I lived in Ronke Phillips' house.
I interviewed Paddy Ashdown for the BBC.
Sir John Harvey-Jones is my mum's second cousin.
My cousin is a Hollywood film director.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Sun 23 Sep 2012, 16:41, Reply)

Fuzzbox
I once fingered Maggie from Fuzzbox, we were at the Powerhouse in Birmingham around 1987 I think.
(MistahG, Sun 23 Sep 2012, 16:19, 3 replies)

I fisted a celebrity once
Granted, it was Gordon the Gopher, but I was only six (I came second in a Pizza Hut drawing competition, and got to meet Phillip Schofield too).

I was an extra/dancer in a Noisettes music video (the one they claimed featured genuine fans, which isn't true - all the 'fans' were cast from StarNow). The lead singer doesn't wear any underwear and is fine stripping naked to change in front of hundreds of people.

When I was a kid I chucked a beaker of Ribena over Oliver Reed. He was presenting a corporate video my dad was presenting, and came to my house to discuss it. My mum made him go into the garden to smoke, but the smoke woke me up and for some reason I instinctively grabbed my beaker and chucked the contents out of the window. He seemed to take it in good spirits but had already made his way through most of our good spirits, so..
(lisasimpson2011, Sun 23 Sep 2012, 15:35, Reply)

I saw Steve Coogan walking down a street just off Oxford Street once.
Literally walking down the middle of the street. I wanted to go up to him and call him a cunt, but I was afraid that he wouldn't get the in joke- that I was referring to a scene from 'The Trip', and that he might punch me in the face instead.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=PzD96eoWaVs

So basically I just saw him and had no interaction whatsoever.
(FartThroughAWalkieTalkie wished you were dead in ditch on, Sun 23 Sep 2012, 15:22, Reply)

I used to work in a picture framers in a posh part of that London...
Saw many a duff celeb in the shop but non could top the Countess Labia.
(Bocboy, Sun 23 Sep 2012, 15:00, Reply)

A bloke I worked with flew an x wing or sutin in Star Trek or sutin.
He gets blown up by a deaf star.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 23 Sep 2012, 13:54, 5 replies)

I danced the salsa on Brazilian TV in the Carnival in Rio
The friends I was with grabbed the TV crew and told them "film him, he's English". So I had to try to Salsa; I have exactly as much rhythm as the stereortypical white Englishman... The bastards kept filming for ages, too.

They showed it on national TV that night. I have a nasty feeling it still shows up on "Brazil's funniest videos" to this day...
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Sun 23 Sep 2012, 13:29, Reply)

Lewis Smith lives in my village
...but as he's mostly training we never see him or his his ridiculous beard.
And I've met Steve Parrish; a really nice guy with a fund of stories simultaneously hilarious and horrifying. Brothels, explosives, impersonating doctors etc.
(all my scars face forward possesses 2.5% of a hyperalloy combat chassis, Sun 23 Sep 2012, 13:27, Reply)

This is so shit, it's beyond tenuous.
When I was a kid, Mum thought it a good idea to send me to karate lessons. I did ok until I got bored and thought books were more fun. The chap who taught me was a fella by the name of Patrick Scantlebury.

Who once apparently broke Jean Claude Van Damme's ribs.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Sun 23 Sep 2012, 13:04, Reply)

Star Wars obscure link
In the late seventies I used to play basketball at a local sports centre. All the other team members were about ten years older than me, 3 were London taxi drivers, one was a graphic designer, another a school caretaker but the best player was a shooting guard called Brian Muir who made a living as a sculptor and sometimes made props for film and TV.

His is most famous for carving the original mask for Darth Vader and bits of C3PO not that I'm overly impressed as I've never seen Star Wars.

www.brianmuirvadersculptor.com/
(Barnetboy, Sun 23 Sep 2012, 12:37, Reply)

Rugger Buggers
Prior to the 2003 Rugby World Cup, former Australian legend David Campese would spout off to any media outlet that would listen (ie pay him) that the England team were too fat, too slow, too old, too English, too everything and would not win the tournament.

After England DID win the whole thing by beating Australia in the final on their home soil I did a bit of a Google search and found that Mr Campese had a marketing company (chief client, his ego).

I sent an e-mail to [email protected] (not the actual address) with the simple message "LOSER" in a 36pt bold font.

A few days later I got a whining reply from him saying how could he be a loser when he scored x tries in x test matches and anyway what had I ever done.

My reply pointed out that he had overlooked that fact that I had a County trial for Hertfordshire under -14s and once scored two tries against Mount Grace. To be fair they were shit but hey, I was a second row forward.
(Barnetboy, Sun 23 Sep 2012, 12:27, 3 replies)

I remembered another shit one.
My grandparents held their 60th Wedding anniversary bash at a hotel on Morecambe seafront.
My father and I are very proud to have not left the bar before the members of Lindisfarne who had just played at The Platform.
They were right grumpy cunts the next morning.....

EDIT: and I know the chap who writes Simon's Cat - very nice chap!
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Sun 23 Sep 2012, 12:04, Reply)

Z listers
I used to work in retail, exotic pets and aquariums. One shop was within a garden centre in an area popular with the ol' Z list celebs. We had Paul Daniels and his Mrs in quite often, Ulrika Johnson, Rolf Harris (Met him LOADS as he lived in my hometown, so was often hoiked out for minor events and photo ops. I also met him at London Zoo and sat on his knee outside the bug enclosure.) and several other random Z listers, including Melinda Messenger, who I served for about half an hour and sold her a full aquarium set up; all without realising who she actually was. Lovely lady though.
Then another company I worked for imports and supplies all the sharks and fish to the vast majority of the UK and Europe's aquariums. So quite a large number of the sharks on display are 'my' sharks, with a number of them having been hand raised and hand fed as tiny babies by me. People probably think I'm nuts talking about 'my' sharks when I visit aquariums. And Lewis Hamilton's dad came for a mooch about the place few times too.

Oh and one of my relatives back in the 90's had a major role in Coronation Street for a good few years.
( Bathory, Sun 23 Sep 2012, 11:51, 2 replies)

I helped make Doctor Who
Late 2004, I'm working in a bookshop in Manchester. It's a slow day and I think I recognise the bloke browsing the humour books. I'm searching my memory but can't quite place him. He starts browsing the graphic novels. He comes to the counter with two Dilbert books and The Ultimates by Mark Millar and Bryan Hitch. He pays by card. I sneakily look at the name. Russell T Davies.

"I knew I recognised you!" I exclaim. He gives me a look that says "You clearly think I'm someone else."

After I enthuse about how much I enjoyed Queer as Folk, The Second Coming and others he relaxes and we have an interesting conversation about the recently-announced return of Doctor Who. I express my doubts about that pop star Billie being a companion. He assures me she's great.

A week later a press release announces that the concept designer for the new series is Marvel Comics artist Bryan Hitch. I helped!
( Ambegris likes his tea stirred anti-clockwise, Sun 23 Sep 2012, 11:27, Reply)

"Oh Howard!"
I held a shop door open for a lady as she was coming out because she had a shopping bag in each hand . She thanked me very much in familiar husky voice 'For being a gentleman'. It was Jean Fergusson ( Marina from "The Last of The Summer Wine" )
(Mackeson_drinker, Sun 23 Sep 2012, 11:18, Reply)

I passed Richard Till in the street the other day.

( Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Sun 23 Sep 2012, 10:00, Reply)

Had a beer with Nick Cave back when he was good in 1989
One beer.
At the same table but a very long table.
And he was giving an interview at the time.
But still he nodded and raised his bottle and seemed a bit nervous.

A nice occasion, he was reading from his then new book. We were about 40 people there to hear him read.
(macroscian (1 like), Sun 23 Sep 2012, 9:37, Reply)

I met Reg Hollis
Mr Lew's post reminded me of a thing. Many years ago when I worked in a hotel on a freezing rock in the North Atlantic, we had Jeff Stewart (who played Reg Hollis on The Bill at the time) staying. He got in pretty late and I was about the only one in the hotel who wasn't a barmaid or the manager, so I carried his cases upstairs. I'd closed the kitchen about half an hour earlier but since he was hungry I nuked him some soup and made him a couple of sandwiches.

He's a nice enough guy to talk to. I remember being surprised at how short he was.
(gordonjcp, Sun 23 Sep 2012, 8:24, Reply)

Get Me!!
I bought weed in Byron Bay off Dennis from Heart break High
I high fived Snoop Doggy Dogg
Bryan Adams opened my coconut
I puked on tinker from Lovejoy's shoes!
(lankynyack, Sun 23 Sep 2012, 8:22, 2 replies)

I got pissed on a plane with that girl from that Australian soap.
You know, the fit one with freckles, in that soap about a high school in the 90's.
( The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Sun 23 Sep 2012, 8:14, 2 replies)

I got a lovely letter from Victor Kellerher
about how similar to his son I was.
Our yr. 7 teacher (who also happened to be the librarian) made us all write a letter to our favourite author.
I was only one of a couple who got a reply and Mr. Kellerher (http://www.fantasticfiction.co.uk/k/victor-kelleher/) told me how my upbringing sounded very similar to his son's - who was a couple of years older than me & had also grown up in Africa prior to coming to Australia to live.

I also met Doug Macleod (http://www.dougmacleod.com.au/menu.php) at the State Library - I went with the same teacher and got Mr. Macleod to sign all of the school libraries' books that he had written.

OMG! I'm a fucking book nerd and have been for a very long time.
Who'da-thunk-it?
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sun 23 Sep 2012, 6:03, 3 replies)

I got GAZed by baldmonkey once.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 23 Sep 2012, 5:54, Reply)

I once sent an Email to Douglas Adams via a website he was involved with. The digital village, I think it was called.
I did this at the school library and a week or two later the head librarian hands me a printout and says "think this is for you"
A very short reply saying thanks for all the support, probably written by his secretary or faked by the librarian. But still. Douglas fucking Adams bitches!
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sun 23 Sep 2012, 4:02, Reply)

I worked in a Restaurant attached to a little posh deli,
all cheese and posh meat and that. Good old Jeremy Paxman was a regular in the Deli for his cheese and would occasionally pop in to the Restaurant bar, and have a glass of wine before wandering off to go and interrogate some ingrate or other.
One afternoon, I was on a split shift, and sat at the bar having a coffee and doing the crossword. In strolls Paxman, sits down, gets a glass of wine and pulls out the same paper, and cracks on with the crossword. It's clear from where I'm sat that he's struggling a little (a surprise to me) and, after thinking it over a few times, proffer some help. I don't remember my exact words, but I think it was something along the lines of "Alright, how you getting on?" while waving the offending cryptic word puzzle in his direction. There was a long pause, combined with a stare that was almost like he was trying to decide whether to eat my eyeballs or my ears first, and then he just said; "What the fuck is 4 down?" I wish I remembered what it was, but I don't, but I had the answer then, and there began a jolly hour battering through the crossword with one of the most intimidating interviewers on the TV.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sun 23 Sep 2012, 3:13, Reply)

Ub40
I worked at Birmingham airport in one of those bars in the departure lounge that charge a fortune for a beer. Yeah I was one of those bastards in the early 90s that would rob you for 3.95 for a beer
UB40, the popular mock- reggae band came in and rather than going to the posh lounge went to the public area and hit the bar.
After an hour of heavy drinking and not one tip, the stingy bastards, but three of them was refused entry on the plane due to being sloshed
(uttertosser, Sun 23 Sep 2012, 1:28, 1 reply)

Lost in translation
Going to have my name on the cover of a book I translated next spring. It should have been out by now, but i missed the original deadline. Still, what's the worst that can happen?

Well, the author dying last week so he'll never get to see it published in English, that's what.

A very eminent academic in his home country, so much so that national newspapers not only carried his obituary, but also a eulogy from the president.

Still, if he'd been a bit less slapdash with the citations, the translation wouldn't have been late in the first place. That's my excuse.
(Capo, Sun 23 Sep 2012, 1:11, Reply)