I've had my face on page 3 of the national press...
... for playing tiddlywinks.
( Ugi , it's a game of give and cake, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 17:27, Reply)

My arse...
My leather clad arse was featured on "999" a good few years back...
I was helping to load a patient into an ambulance after I had attended him as a motorcycle paramedic at the Isle of Man TT races.
So any pervy thoughts about leather, arses & object insertions can be left at the door thank you very much!
(stygof, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 17:24, 1 reply)

Attractive BBC science presenter, Liz Bonnin
did her Master's with us, and I frequently helped her source papers for her research. Weird thing was, I had no idea who she was until after she had left when I saw her TV one evening.

She could be a little pushy at times, but came across as being quite a nice girl.
( Jahled Three shades of black, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 17:22, Reply)

Not even me, my old school
Kid who threw a brick through a teacher's office wall, filmed and uploaded on youtube a few years ago. Caused a little media "blah blah internet ban youtube" etc. My old school.

20 years previously, we also managed to lodge a javelin into some poor soul's neck and miraculously, said kid survived with some bruising and stitches - there was even a "999" feature about it... (yes, I am old...)
(mmmm curry doesn't really understand this sig lark, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 17:21, Reply)

Oh and some friends of my Mum
were hiding Salman Rushdie when there were all those death threats.
(teasus likes tea, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 17:21, Reply)

My Cousin's godfather is Gerry Anderson apparently
and another friend of the family was the guy who translated 'Monkey Magic' into English. My Aunt had a fling with the guy who represents the Dalai Lama to the western world and some ancestor of mine was apparently the archbishop of Capetown.
My family is slightly odd.
(teasus likes tea, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 17:20, Reply)

Saddam Hussein took my Granny out to dinner once
She was a reporter during the Iran/Iraq war and he was apparently trying to win her over to thinking he wasn't evil or something. But still, Saddam Hussein took my Granny out to dinner.

PS I may have posted about this before.
(teasus likes tea, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 17:18, 2 replies)

Local news
In my days as a junior wannabe academic, BBC Solent local news featured me having a conversation with an exceptionally hirsute man about growing mushrooms on bog rolls.

Really. It was a science feature, apparently.
(MattDP (Squiggle), Thu 20 Sep 2012, 17:09, Reply)

I fingered a bird who was on Jim'll Fix it.

Years after she was on it, I hasten to add.
(Amberleaf, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 17:06, 1 reply)

I was once taught economics by a guy called John Walker who had represented Great Britain at the Olympics fencing
and also claimed to have done Cherie M. Lunghi's accounts, and also trained the actors in the original Star Wars how to fight with their light sabers/sticks, including Harrison Ford.

To this day I have no idea if he was telling the truth.
( Jahled Three shades of black, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 16:59, Reply)

The back of my head appeared in Bad Girls for 2 minutes.
I was the character 'DC Dennis'. Investigating a murder in the all women's facility with a DS whose name i cant remeber and who also had All The Lines.

still got my name in the credits, so one up from 'Unknown Extra'.

I got a haircut out of it. And i also wore an ill fitting leather jacket.
(magictorch, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 16:57, Reply)

I appeared...
in the background, aged 7 or so in a shoot for Russ Abott. I have walked through a public shoot in London with crowds all around with a bint from sex and the city, I think the old one, I was in a rush. And I have insulted (he's a horrible man) Warwick Davis on recorded TV (it never got shown).

Oh I went to school with the evil twin sons of Ali Campbell, of UB40 fame.
(feedingtimeatthezoo day 1 of his bikini diet started, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 16:50, 2 replies)

I am the last person that Magnuss Magnusson said "I've started so I'll finish" to.
On TV, that is. He might have said it after that in private. Probably while shagging his missus in the famous Mastermind chair; he told me he still had it at home. I really had to bite my lip to ask if he'd shagged in it - especially since his wife was there too...

Then he asked me for my autograph, which I found rather confusing.

Lovely bloke. I was sad to hear he'd died, about a year later.
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 16:49, 2 replies)

Vernon Kay
I was once standing next to Vernon Kay. I didn't punch him. On reflection, this should be posted under "My Greatest Regrets", not "Shit Claims to Fame II".
(lardaholics anonymous, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 16:49, Reply)

Gaynor Barnes: Regional news presenter
As an army cadet helping out at a flower show, I tripped over and saw up her skirt.

Which was nice.
(Frample Tromwibbler climbs an obstacle like old people fuck, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 16:49, Reply)

Also...
Had a drink with Clarence Clemons and Little Stevie from the E Street Band.

Saw Peter Beardsley in a book shop in Manchester.

and

Shared a recording/practice/performing venue with Elbow.
( Ya What Skiddlyboop, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 16:47, 3 replies)

Toilet
I once pissed in Nelson Mandella's toilet. It was very satisfying and I flushed afterwards.
(lardaholics anonymous, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 16:46, Reply)

My brother came to visit me in Merseyside
I was DETERMINED to impress him with my well-hard 'connections,' so took him to a bar that, I assured him, was “proper gangster.”
“Oh yeah, the landlord’s a monster. Huge fella, done hard time. Big name in the underworld. One of those faces you kind of recognise cos his mugshot's been everywhere. Me and him are sound though, proper sound.”
We arrived, got a drink from him in total silence, and went and sat down.
“Proper gangster then is he?” my brother asked.
“Oh yeah, done some big jobs. BIG jobs. We go way back though, don't worry about it.”

“It’s Warrior out of Gladiators you fucking spastic.”
( Wet-chinned bag shanker Cannot parse Wogan, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 16:43, 3 replies)

Through a strange series of events
Adrian Mutu, Claudio Raneiri and Damien Duff have seen my cock.

Also, in a slightly misfiring piece of "you wouldn't dare" bravado, a photo of me entirely naked was published in a national magazine with a fairly high circulation.

I really should try and keep my clothes on. Gah.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 16:42, Reply)

I was temping at Brittany Ferries once (after the Herald of Free Enterprise thing I believe), and refunded a Ferry ticket to Edward Woodward.
(Freakmandu, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 16:41, Reply)

czech this...
I met Jilly Goolden and Roland Rivron in Prague near the big Eiffel tower thingy. They were really nice and signed my Lonely Planet before having a minor domestic about Jilly's choice of shoes for such a walking-intensive day.
(The Admiral's Chair Providing suggestive seating since, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 16:40, Reply)

I embarrassed Billie Piper (I think)
I was in the backstage bit at a festival a few years back (the bit with a bar and a BBQ and nice toilets, which was nice), around about the time she'd just started on Dr. Who. Her and David Tennant and a bunch of other people came in, and were standing around having a drink by the bar.

I sidled over and stood right behind Billie. 'Excuse Me'. no reaction. 'Excuse Me'. She still ignored me. 'Excuse Me'...

Obviously giving up and deciding that I was some annoying fan who was going to have to be dealt with, she turned around and gave me a great big smile and a 'Hello!'.

'Sorry - can you get out of my way please, I'm just trying to get to the bar.'

She looked pretty deflated.

I hate people who block the bar.
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 16:36, 3 replies)

Dead Dog
I delivered the ashes of Jet's (also out of gladiators) dog. They had been delayed in the post and I came to her rescue.

She wasn't in, so in honesty I actually delivered Jet's dead dog to her mum. She was a nice lady.

(Link for perverts anyone that doesn't know her here)
(toxic parsnip sold his soul on, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 16:33, Reply)

A photo of my wife is on the Mighty Boosh Future Sailors Live DvD.
And I've shagged her.
( Airman Gabber Living life like a 70's BBC presenter, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 16:32, Reply)

I once showed actor Tobias Menzies who played Brutus in Rome how to use a photocopier

( Jahled Three shades of black, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 16:31, Reply)

I have 2.
Toni Arthur from Playaway signed my plaster when I broke my leg when I was 10.

Josephine Tewson from various shit TV sitcoms was a friend of my late stepfathers, and she came to our house for lunch once.

Wait . . there's more.

Once got in a lift with Fiona Fullerton.

And Raquel from Coronation street was walking her dog in our park once, and my daughter played with her dog.
(username failed moderation, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 16:29, Reply)

Bit of a roast...
I design and print Noddy Holders business cards.
And David Dickinson.
( Ya What Skiddlyboop, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 16:24, 2 replies)

A book I took every photograph for was unveiled at a United Nations environmental conference in Tokyo
They remembered to credit me as far in as page six.
( Jahled Three shades of black, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 16:24, 2 replies)