English people!
Hear me out on this one before you call me a 'tosser'. This isn't some Irish - English type jab but more a cultural observation. I'm a big fan of English music and arts but have been dismayed to see over time, English culture has gone like this:

- Lets conquer the world for King/Queen and country.
- Lets show those Gerrys a thing or two eh? Tally ho.
- Peace and love man.
- I refuse to work down that coal mine mam.
- His friends call him Ebeneezer Goode (*edit* I have been informed The Shamen are Scottish. Insert 'I get knocked down, but I get up again' instead)
- Lets ruin everyones holiday to Spain by being really loud and shouting out things like 'innit' and 'sumfink' while wearing pajamas. By the way... anyone for a stabbing?

Irish aren't much better but at least our 'alcoholism' overrides out chav population in the eyes of the world. At the moment chav = English person. Sorry. You'd want to do a bit of PR!


For those interested, Irish history:

- English occupation
- Freedom! Lets have a fight.
- Drunk
- Lets have another fight up north
- Drunk
- We're rich!!
- Argh... what happened? We're poor.
- Drunk.
(preach, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 11:02, 28 replies)

bedad!
u forgot to mention the God bothering and child rape.
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 11:03, closed)

But Baz
That's only us catholics...
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 11:06, closed)

*Click*
Genuinely made me laugh!

Can you do the history of other nations as well?
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 11:06, closed)

Sure...
I am great at doing general observations with minimal historical knowledge of the country. Try me out... pick a country...
(preach, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 11:10, closed)

Oooh,
We'll start easy:
Germany
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 11:19, closed)

ok...
- Barbarians (got that from the opening scene of Gladiator)
- Stuff happens here
- Lets conquer the world like those Brits did yet with sillier hats with a spike on top.
- Oops... that was a mistake. Lets keep the head down and rebuilt the country.
- You know that Austrian fellow is quite likable.
- Promise this time? The aftermath of last time was a disaster. Ok lets do it!!
- Oops... now they have divided our country. Bummer.
- Jeez those guys in the east are having a hard time.
- Yay no more wall.
- HARD ROCK!
- No way not again. I'm not going to liste... whats that you say? We can own it all by uniting the currency of all the member countries and then controlling it? But what happens if there is a financial crisis and each country will need to control their own rates and currency to stay competitive with the US market and, lets just imagine, their next door neighbour who deal in Sterling that they do most of their trade with? It won't? Promise? Ok lets do it!!
- Oops.
(preach, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 11:35, closed)

Good but you missed one small point
THE HOFF!

Next, Japan!
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 11:43, closed)

Me likey!
- Proud people. Must honour and obey.
- SAMURAI!
- This art thing crappy but we get there.
- Yes walls are paper but imagine solid. No walking through.
- Lets kill ourselves while trying to kill them. That'll teach them! HAHAHAHAHA
- What that thing falling from sky? Look like big bom...
- Lets make crappy stereo and cars.
- Lets make really good stereo and create new technology like tape/CD/HDTV. Also... really good car.
- Tehehehehehe... I'm Japanese girl.
- BACKSTEET BOYS!!
- Crazy game show.

/end scene
(preach, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 11:52, closed)

Oooh,
Brazil!
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 11:58, closed)

Tough one...
- HAPPY 1500! I like living in this rainforest. Loads to eat here. What is that floating in the sea? Looks like a boat full of Portuguese sailors. AHOY THERE!
- Lets have a king.
- Lets not.
- Lets throw a party every year where women get their tops off! Yay!
- We're actually quite good at this soccer thing! Lets practice some more.
- What have you done?? My God thats... SEXY! Man that must have hurt. Jeez I can actually see your... Ha... it DOES actually look like sideways lips. Pedro was right!
- Another world cup? Great. No no I'm delighted. Its just... well... you think we should let someone else win it?
- Oil you say? Right off our coast? In one of the biggest oil crisis ever? What are the chances. Lets party and get women to show us their funbags. Ole!
(preach, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 12:12, closed)

Russia?
Or Mexico, your choice!
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 12:17, closed)

Equatorial Guinea
Uzbekistan

Socotra Island
( chenobble rocking his explorer beard on, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 11:21, closed)

I can do Scotland
We hate the English
We hate the English
We hate the English
We hate the English
We hate the English
We hate the English
We hate the English
We hate the English
We hate the English
We hate the English
etc
( stopmeandslapme Cometh the hour, cometh your mum, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 11:20, closed)

You forgot
Fight against the Scots

it comes in twice, once after 'We hate the English' and the second time is just before 'We hate the English'
( chenobble rocking his explorer beard on, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 11:23, closed)

Scotland
That Columba bloke wants us to do *what*?
Where has James VI gone?
What the fuck is 'Great Britain'?
Hey, this empire thing is quite lucrative.
The post war economy is screwed, let's blame the English for everything.
Actually, let's blame Margaret Thatcher for everything.
Let's swap London for Brussels.
Chris Hoy.
( writerblock ... embedding disabled by request on, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 11:27, closed)

important Irish motto
- remember never to forget!
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 11:29, closed)

so
Should I hate the Germans, French, Spanish, Danish and Italians because they once invaded my country, or tried to?
( stopmeandslapme Cometh the hour, cometh your mum, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 11:35, closed)

yes
just like The Sun newspaper says.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 12:19, closed)

Thats a very important Irish motto...
if you want to live all your life hating pretty much everyone in the history of the world for deeds done that seemed like a good idea at the time.


How about "Quit living in the past as it will make you ignorant of the present. Forgive, forget and have a dance if the mood takes you". I prefer that old one that I just made up.
(preach, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 11:44, closed)

oh yes
that's a much better motto, but it'll never catch on with the corner boys.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 12:17, closed)

Please Sir...can I do Wales? Ok:
Tribes
Romans
Tribes
Mines
S4C
Bands
Cardiff now nice
err...Tribes anyone?
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 11:31, closed)

Bless...
Romans. Poor old Wales. Had it hard and the sheep thing just won't go away.
(preach, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 11:53, closed)

Re: Ebeneezer Goode
The Shamen were Scottish.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 12:30, closed)

Oh...
well thats me told off. Apologies Scots. I know how much you hate being confused with the English!
(preach, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 13:17, closed)

Mr C
had a broad Scots accent if ever I've heard one.
( stopmeandslapme Cometh the hour, cometh your mum, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 13:49, closed)

Potato
Dats da fanks we get fur givin u the potato u terroist!

P.s Stop going on about the potato famine, if it wasn't for us you would of had the turnip famine!
(ruud316, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 14:39, closed)

common
The biggest and most glaring eror in your rant is to say that the miners did not want to work.
That uncommonest of cunts Thatcher ensured they would not, by heavy handed policing and even heavier politics.
She has dementia now, so I am just waiting for the fungating vaginal tumour to kill the bitch slowly and painfully, and I too can die happy,
Sleep well!
(grumpynurse ,is playing minigolf on, Sun 19 Oct 2008, 19:20, closed)

Eerrrrrrrr
firstly, it wasn't a rant. It was a uneducation generalisation. If you read my posts with Fuckarma you would quicky realise that my grasp of world history is limited at best.


Secondly, in Billy Elliot the miners didn't want to go down as they were striking due to something (I really don't care what) and that's where I got my information from. Oh man I hope Billy Elliot didn't lie to me.
(preach, Mon 20 Oct 2008, 13:16, closed)