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Common

Freddy Woo writes, "My wife thinks calling the front room a lounge is common. Worse, a friend of hers recently admonished her daughter for calling a toilet, a toilet. Lavatory darling. It's lavatory."

My own mother refused to let me use the word 'oblong' instead of 'rectangle'. Which is just odd, to be honest.

What stuff do you think is common?

(

chthonic, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 16:06)

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*Rubs Hands*
"May I" vs "Can I"

Think about it. Can you see yourself,ever,asking:

"May I cum on your tits?".....

Or

"Bar-Person? May I have another pint of your finest, foaming, beer please?"

Get to fuck. 'Can I' is the correct useage. People who say "may I" are either obsequious waiters,shop assistants or in-bred degenerates.

Cheers
(

Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 14:02, 30 replies)

I use
"Do you mind if..." quite often.
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 14:04, closed)

And
You're quite right.

'Do you mind' avoids all of the pitfalls associated with 'may I' vs 'can I'.

But it still makes you sound like a waiter...

Cheers
(

Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 14:24, closed)

thus, do you mind
if I spaff on your chebs, dahling.

/has me in stitches.

EDIT: /Notes lateness
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 14:26, closed)

would it not be easier
to make it a statement of fact rather than an offer?

"any moment now i'm going to blow my load over your jubblies/baps/jugs/norks*"

*or other such zoo-ish derivations of the fine mammary
(Halfy By light alone, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 14:32, closed)

I Prefer
Oh Fuck.

Sorry.

I'll get it dry-cleaned for you.

Cheers
(

Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 14:35, closed)

OK, but.....
'Can I' may be your preferred usage, and I respect your opinion on that. However, 'can I' means 'am I capable of' rather than 'do I have permission to' so the *correct* usage is 'may I'.
(Wallilay has been bored of this shit since, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 14:06, closed)

And..
Assuming that you don't live in a Bronte novel, which one do you actually use?

Cheers
(

Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 14:11, closed)

I normally use
'can I', however I acknowledge that it's not the *correct* term. Mere semantics, but let's not allow all our standards to slip.
(Wallilay has been bored of this shit since, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 14:57, closed)

Ahem
You mean 'a flagon of foaming, nut-brown ale, if you will, stout yeoman of the bar', do you not?
(

Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 14:07, closed)

Bollocks!
Hoist by my own petard.

Missed out "nut-brown".

The shame, the shame....

Cheers
(

Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 14:18, closed)

In theory
it's "May I", because "Can I" is asking if it's possible for you to have/do something. Yes, you can have a glass of water- your hands work, don't they? And you're capable of drinking it? Therefore you can. May you have one? Yes, but only because you asked for it.

That said, I generally use "Can I".

/gets to fuck
(

The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 17 Oct 2008, 14:08, closed)

Get To Fuck.
You're a Merkin and, hence, automatically disqualified from commenting on the ENGLISH language.

Colour has a U in it.

Until you can accept this you're automagically wrong.

Cheers
(

Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 14:16, closed)

fucker!
thats my keyboard swimming in freshly gobbed out tea
(Halfy By light alone, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 14:29, closed)

Well
you lot invented the fucking language, is it too much to ask that you speak it? I mean, look at all the slang you have that we don't. Then look at our slang- how much of it do you lot use? Pretty much all of it, that's what!

Hell, at least we follow the rules of the language over here!

*goes off to write to the Daily Mail*

May contain elements of sarcasm. Not to be taken seriously.
(

The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 17 Oct 2008, 14:39, closed)

I find it impossible
to take american police officers seriously, even when armed to the teeth.

the word Vee-hickel just goes round and round and round
(Halfy By light alone, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 14:43, closed)

Accenting different parts of the words
is a regional thing. ve-HICK-el is mostly a Southern thing, as us UM-brella. In NY it's VE-hicle and umBRELLa.

Makes dating around here an adventure, I tell ya!
(

The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 17 Oct 2008, 15:33, closed)

I tend to use
"Would you mind terribly if one spaffed on ones chebs dahling?".
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 17 Oct 2008, 14:13, closed)

Might be
correct. In todays speech but I've never heard of (except on tinternet) of tits being referred to as chebs.

To be honest, I much prefer tits. You know where you are with a tit..

Cheers
(

Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 14:22, closed)

.
Hello! I appear to have deposited my man-Bostik on your mams. Awfly sorreh.
(Chickenwire social lubricator extraordinaire, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 14:49, closed)

this would mean you want to spaff on your own chebs
I'm sure no one would mind if you did that
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 15:43, closed)

Just so long as
it's "can I have..." and not "can I get..." UGH Americanism.
(Binary Solo loves a bit of algebra, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 14:39, closed)

How 'bout
"I can has..."
(

The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 17 Oct 2008, 14:40, closed)

.
cheezberger?
(

Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 14:46, closed)

Common Cat made u a findus crispeh pancake n oven chips
but he eated it :(
(Binary Solo loves a bit of algebra, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 14:48, closed)

For
the winz....
(

Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 14:53, closed)

and there goes
my coke across the screen
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 15:11, closed)

I don't care how I'm asked ......
as long as I'm asked.
(

girlinthehole, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 15:49, closed)

OK BGB....
....do you mind if I spaff on your chebs? Pleeeze? ;-)
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 17 Oct 2008, 16:18, closed)

I don't care if I'm asked,
being told works just as well.
(

crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 17 Oct 2008, 17:50, closed)

May I come on your tits?

(

Zhmei HEY B3TA I WAS ON YOUR DINGY ISLAND AT LAST!1!, Sun 19 Oct 2008, 23:10, closed)

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