Not quite me complaining...
I work as a waiter in quite a well-to-do restaurant near Northampton. Obviously, receiving and dealing with complaints is part of the job.

Now, we have a certain dish called called 'Pan-seared hot smoked salmon'. Basically, we have a fillet of smoked salmon and sear it on both sides for a few seconds, then serve on a bed of salad etc etc.

On day, a gentleman with his family of wife and daughter walk in for a celebratory lunch, for his daughter had just received her degree (from the internationally reknowned University of Northampton no doubt). This girl proceeds to order the aforementioned dish, surely drooling in anticipation of sinking her teeth into the tasty morsel.

I take the food out to their table, place it down, tell them that I hope they enjoy their meal and walk off. Now, standard practise was to wait a couple of minutes before going back to the table and checking that everything as alright. No sooner had I walked away from the table, I was called back by the father, protesting that his wonderful daughter's fish was not cooked. I apologised and took it back to the chef who proceeded to swear alot and cook a fillet of *smoked* salmon through.

I took it back, apologised again and went on my merry way. Until I was called back by an ngry father, again saying it was not cooked. I had to tell him that it was, in fact, smoked, a form of cooking. The mother butted in at this point, telling me to, and I quote 'Be very careful, he's in catering.' Obviously, running a burger van is a form of catering. I once again took it back to the chef and he obliterated it. Very happy. Wham bam fuck off you cunts.

The daughter never uttered a word throughout all of this.

Ignorance is bliss apparently
(The_Reaper, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 20:24, 20 replies)

Plebs don't deserve nice food
What a waste of a lovely bit of salmon.

I ordered a tuna steak in Prague and realised when the waiter walked away that he hadn't asked me how I'd like it (just show it the frying pan, please). The chef cooked it to a tasteless chewy crisp, and the waiter refused to take it back and bring me a quickly seared one because "who eats raw fish?"
(posthumous mince is tiptoeing through the tulips, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 21:13, closed)

Hot Smoked Salmon
is cooked during the smoking process isn't it, rather than Smoked Salmon which isn't?
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Mon 6 Sep 2010, 21:35, closed)

Think so, yes..
... plus you don't really have to cook fish much, if at all. In fact, you should really just bury salmon for a few months.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 21:45, closed)

That's herring
And only if you're Scandinavian.

And batshit insane.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 6 Sep 2010, 21:50, closed)

I was thinking Gravlax...
I though the Swedes had the scary, exploding, fish cans?
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 21:59, closed)

Aye that's the one.
Lutfisk. Although there is one worse than that. Surströmming. A fouler concoction has never been thought of. And it's caught out our very own Humpty with its foul aromas.

You can read the full story here.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 6 Sep 2010, 22:22, closed)

Well worth the read
I didn't know whether to laugh, puke, or knock one out.
(all my scars face forward possesses 2.5% of a hyperalloy combat chassis, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 22:54, closed)

just be glad
they didn't order gazpacho to start
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 21:51, closed)

Did he pay by card?
And was the name on the card A J Rimmer BSC SSC?
(Vigilante Man weeps because you're stupid., Mon 6 Sep 2010, 21:56, closed)

it was a stolen card
in the name of Toddhunter
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 22:00, closed)

It's quite nice warm.

( jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 6 Sep 2010, 22:22, closed)

i bet you like your ice cream all melty, too
;)
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 23:13, closed)

did you know...
that chefs keep every moody piece of steak for the "well done" brigade??
It's common knowledge. "KFWD" (keep for well done) written on the stock list. The gristliest, most dropped in the freezer piece of shit you can imagine. Anyone who eats meat well done will never notice the difference.
( Sallyrsm, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 22:28, closed)

That's why I like my steak
saw raw you can still connect it to a milking machine.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 23:32, closed)

Pull the horns off
and wipe its arse.
(Vigilante Man weeps because you're stupid., Tue 7 Sep 2010, 0:25, closed)

"so rare that a competent vet could get it back on its feet"

(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 9:48, closed)

Maybe it's true over there,
but it's certainly not true where I am. I've worked in hospitality for a while and at various places, and I've never ever come across chefs who do that.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 7 Sep 2010, 8:07, closed)

This is, of course, highly unprofessional and deeply unfair....
... because if you are, for example, heavily pregnant and obviously cannot eat food that is less than well done you end up with horrible steak no matter how you would ordinarily have it. One less regular customer for that restaurant then.

I can cook a piece of steak well-done without ruining it. I don't need to often but while my wife was pregnant I did so, and so can they. KFWD is just lazy and ignorant.
( Ugi , it's a game of give and cake, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 11:24, closed)

I think
you might be on the wrong board...
(Crevice 's contents puked and crawled back in again on, Wed 8 Sep 2010, 7:07, closed)

tautological menu item alert...

pan-seared hot smoked salmon is right, pan-seared hot-smoked salmon might be expected though (altho it would probably be dry as fsck)
(weaselinajetengine, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 23:44, closed)