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This is a question Control Freaks

Peej writes, "My mate Tony's dad used to weigh the breakfast cereal in the morning to make sure everybody got an equal amount and the pack provided the exact amount of servings advertised on the packet. I learned from this that the recommended serving size on a cereal packet isn't enough to feed a sparrow."

Sound familiar? Tell us more.

(I helped save b3ta! chthonic, Fri 24 Oct 2014, 13:57)
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Cutlery drawer
My girlfriend has the cutlery in the following order:

Spoons (teaspoons and dessert spoons mixed), knives, garlic crusher/pizza slicer. Then in the horizontal slot - forks.

It's hard to sleep at night.
(I helped save b3ta! scoshi pretending to diet since, Thu 30 Oct 2014, 10:13, 41 replies)
Is that because she keeps the bread knives by the bed?

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 30 Oct 2014, 10:49, closed)
Show her how beautiful this is:

(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Thu 30 Oct 2014, 10:54, closed)
Why would anyone put knives to the left of forks?
What kind of addle-pate did this?
(I helped save b3ta! Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Thu 30 Oct 2014, 11:31, closed)
That's the order they go in
K - F - S
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 30 Oct 2014, 11:37, closed)
Christ, man.
That's not even alphabetically correct.
(I helped save b3ta! Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Thu 30 Oct 2014, 15:26, closed)
Fuck the alphabet
www.abbreviations.com/KFS
www.acronymfinder.com/KFS.html
www.acronymattic.com/KFS.html
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 30 Oct 2014, 15:36, closed)
I agree.
Also, the teaspoon section should be at the front, not the back.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 30 Oct 2014, 11:43, closed)
no
it's Forks, Knives, Spoons with tea spoons on the horizontal...
(I helped save b3ta! scoshi pretending to diet since, Thu 30 Oct 2014, 11:55, closed)
in theory i agree with this
in practice, mine seems to be spoons, knives, forks. not quite sure how this has happened.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Oct 2014, 12:42, closed)
^Addle-pate^

(I helped save b3ta! Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Thu 30 Oct 2014, 15:26, closed)
a sorely underused word

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Oct 2014, 17:40, closed)
Zounderkite
www.buzzfeed.com/lukelewis/victorian-insults-to-unleash-in-casual-conversation?s=mobile
(zebideedoodah likes florence but prefers venice, Sun 2 Nov 2014, 12:15, closed)
noo
You would never ask for a fork and knife, it's knife and fork; so why would the forks be to the left of the knives? (Of course this all falls apart when you consider how they are laid out on the table)
(superfly78, Thu 30 Oct 2014, 13:16, closed)
No, because when you lay them out on a table,
you put a huge gap in the middle of it all, and lay it out completely unlike they would be laid out in the drawer. So how they're arranged when in use is irrelevant to how they're arranged when in storage.
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Fri 31 Oct 2014, 13:34, closed)
'Xactly.

(I helped save b3ta! Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Thu 30 Oct 2014, 15:25, closed)
because that's where they go

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 30 Oct 2014, 15:54, closed)
Bit fucked if you have more than 1 guest though

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 30 Oct 2014, 11:31, closed)
The guests can make do with a slotted spatula.

(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Thu 30 Oct 2014, 11:47, closed)
I'm drawn to the fact
that there are 3 knives, 4 forks & 3 dessert spoons.

Oh, and of course, a zippo.
(HairyBaldy, Thu 30 Oct 2014, 12:57, closed)
The zippo is somewhat incongruous

(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 30 Oct 2014, 15:37, closed)
That's one cheap kitchen mate.
Not as cheap as your mum though eh.
(Mr Udagawa, Thu 30 Oct 2014, 13:12, closed)
Well, I shot that photo round your mums house...
...in preference to boffing her.
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Thu 30 Oct 2014, 14:40, closed)
No, that's definitely your cheap kitchen. You've even said so. I dread to think what the bathroom is like.

(Mr Udagawa, Thu 30 Oct 2014, 19:20, closed)
No, this is my kitchen.

(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Thu 30 Oct 2014, 21:02, closed)
very
nice
(I helped save b3ta! social hand grenade I was a lurker before you were a lurker, Fri 31 Oct 2014, 0:34, closed)
bit mouldy

(zebideedoodah likes florence but prefers venice, Sun 2 Nov 2014, 12:17, closed)
Oh god the cutlery drawer
My former housemates insisted on pushing the tray containing the regular day-to-day cutlery like knives, forks and spoons to the back of the drawer and keeping the odd bits like the pizza slicer, can opener and potato peeler at the front. Used to drive me spare.
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 30 Oct 2014, 11:37, closed)
Maybe he ate pizza more often than he ate food that required regular cutlery? :)

(EuroSong I love horse meat: best of all the animals, Thu 30 Oct 2014, 20:58, closed)
He used to live off sausages, mainly
On a typical Sunday he'd get through three 6-packs of them
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 31 Oct 2014, 10:39, closed)
Have you ever shuffled someone's cutlery drawer?
It's a simple pleasure.
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Thu 30 Oct 2014, 13:06, closed)
Fuck that, I threw away the tray, it's very liberating to mix up all your cutlery
I just put my hand in blindly and use whatever I pull out, the occasional sharp knife cut keeps me on my toes
(I helped save b3ta! Glovington, Thu 30 Oct 2014, 15:15, closed)
cutlery goes knife/fork/spoon
teaspoon in the little bit at the bottom. kitchen utensils go in the standy-up metal thing on the ledge.
asparagus steamer, that's the bunny.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 30 Oct 2014, 15:56, closed)
there is no need for the spoons at all, now i come to think about it
forks all the way. especially for ice cream.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Oct 2014, 17:10, closed)
Forks for ice cream, are you mental?

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 30 Oct 2014, 17:22, closed)
Have you never eaten mashed icecream?

(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Thu 30 Oct 2014, 17:28, closed)
also this

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Oct 2014, 17:40, closed)
TRY IT
it's soooooo much better. you can take delicate little bits, instead of shovelling it in like a pleb.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Oct 2014, 17:39, closed)
I like shovelling it in.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 30 Oct 2014, 18:28, closed)
tea spoons
are for ice cream. The ice cream needs to be rock hard as well.
(I helped save b3ta! scoshi pretending to diet since, Thu 30 Oct 2014, 18:33, closed)
Presumably it's the fish slice for the soup?

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 31 Oct 2014, 9:35, closed)

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