Capitalism hmmmm?
Just a quick note thats kinda on topic - several posts over the past page or two seem to be decrying capitalism, stating its an 'epic fail' or this is what happens when it bites us on the ass.

Right, do a quick google search for North Korea, China, Cold War Russia etc etc, read up about living conditions, average wage etc etc. Then have a look at the pictures too.

Not exactly fucking rolling about in piles of cash, laughing their tits off at the benevolent wonder of communism are they?


To pull it slightly back on topic, remember that while this tight spot is indeed cunting many of our fair citizens in the fuck, it's not universal.

Several of my workmates have variable rate mortgages. They're quite happy at the mo. I have a nice rental flat and a safe job, so it's doing people like me no harm, especially as I want to buy a house next year, and a new car this one.

Barclays still basically fell over themselves to give me a card with a big 0% balance transfer window, and my bank called recently offering me much better rates on my existing loan, or another loan if I wanted one.

I'm not saying it's not bad for the people getting shafted by their employers, but looking around my friends / family, that does seem to be the minority. There is a lot of media generated panic going on based on a few unfortunates.
(NoveltyCondomHead Clanks Wams., Fri 23 Jan 2009, 11:40, 17 replies)

Kellogs Credit Crunch!
Credit Crunch - that's all there is.


(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 11:37, Reply)

Hell with this credit crap.
I'm going to start making my money the old-fashioned way. Luckily there are several Indian families near me, so I won't have to go very far to find someone to rob.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 11:34, 2 replies)

I've stopped watching the news
I used to sit and watch the BBC news every morning, while I eat my brekie. The shameless scaremongering has meant that I have to find something else to watch, or I will be forced to drive to the BBC News studios and beat everyone to death with their own shoes.

I can recommend Top Of The Pops 2 on Dave. The History Channel normally has some interesting stuff on as well.
(ScousersPet, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 11:14, 7 replies)

Bugger 'em
Well now. I could see this coming a mile off, so sold my house the year before last, just at the peak, so did quite well really.

The other thing was that I was intending to sort out my finances and (relatively small) personal debts with the profits from the house sale.

Before I sold the house, I had a credit card with a 500 quid limit for emergencies. Such an emergency arose when my gas pipes caught fire and in turn melted the water pipes and my house was on fire at the same time as being flooded.

Despite being insured (for the building at least) I had to rent somewhere for myself and family to live in. The insurance company, despite admitting liabilty, were very slow to pay - so I had to find the mortgage payments, bills etc...on one house, and the rent, bills etc... on another house at the same time. Not an easy feat; so I used the emergency card.

Instantly I got a letter saying "we're going to up your credit card limit to 1500 quid. If you don't want us to do that, email us at [email protected] or write to blah, blah."

I emailed AND wrote saying that I did not want the limit increased.

It fell on deaf ears and sure enough, I very soon had a 1500 quid limit - which DID get used up (trying to find 1900 quid for rent and mortgage each month before bills and living expenses was pretty tough with only one person working in a family of four).

Anyway, back to the 'present' - I had slowly gotten back on my feet, and decided to sell the house and sort out my finances before the upside-down pyramid of an ecomomy based on house procies decided to collapes.

I sold the house, then wrote to all my creditors asking for a final settlement and a copy of the original credit agreement, so I could check I was paying the exact correct amount back and that there were no hidden 'extras'.

Not one of them replied. In fact, as the law stands, if they do not send you the agreement within 12 days then they have broken the law and there is no agreement in place, and legally you can stop paying until such a time as they produce the agreement.

This I did. I stopped paying.

Oddly, instead of ignoring this as they did my letters, the phoned. Constantly.

Each time, I stated that I had asked for a copy of the agreement and a final settlement amount. Each time, the caller said they would sort it out and get back to me.

Then the process would repeat itself ad-nauseum.

Around this time, NR was being bailed out (and Barclays too, but everyone seems to have forgotten about the mere £50bill they were given). And then some more were bailed out using my (our) money.

After I moved house, I no longer had a need for a bank account, and so I simply didn't get another - still haven't needed one, and wow, what a difference it makes - life becomes so much simpler.

Anyway, I moved house (and in fact, country). I realised that despite choosing not to do business with the banking industry, it seemed that I was still giving them money without my consent.

I figured that if ALL three of the people I owed money to - in total about 3k - couldn't be bothered to abide by the law, then I, at least, could. I stopped paying completely and told them that unless they could produce the agreement then they could whistle. They threatened court - I begged them to take it to court, as in court they would have to provide the original agreement, which, to be fair, was all I was asking for.

Anyway, it never happened. I never paid, and as far as I am concerned, I have paid my debt to them with the 1200 quid a month tax I pay, and I have no debt.

So despite a ressession, due to their own rigid stupidity, I am debt free and actually quite comfortable at the moment.

~~Derek
(dchurch bah, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 11:10, 6 replies)

hmmm
i find this whole recession thing mighty confusing. i'm quite young and i still live with my parents.we've never had much and have always lived within our means but my dads just resigned from his job which he has hated for years so now i have no idea whats going to happen. my dad has always been in work since i was born. but his age and lack of qualifications may have a hinderence on him finding a new job so money is tight. luckily he's just finished paying off the morgage so its only bills and council tax to worry about.

i've decided not to watch the news anymore or read any newspaper stories on the recession. its made me worry too much about whether our family will be able to weather the storm. i'm surely not the only person in the country who doesnt really understand whats going on and all the scaremongering surely cant be helping the situation.

i'm offically pleading ignorance.
(fernbrittonsexcessskin will give a shit later, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 10:57, 3 replies)

It's obviously affected the BBC...
They now have too few staff working for their news team, so they have to steal ideas from b3ta rather than wasting time thinking up proper debates in which the answer won't be "Oh my gosh! Tarquin and I now only shop in Waitrose once a month!"

newsforums.bbc.co.uk/nol/thread.jspa?forumID=5955&edition=1&ttl=20090123104403

PS. A recession doesn't happen until the economy has been shrinking for two quarters. In the last quarter the economy still grew, just at a lower rate. There is not a recession yet. Please ignore the proganda.
(Papa Chocolat, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 10:49, 5 replies)

SHITS AND GIGGLES
Like other people on these boards, I too am less than happy with the term ‘credit crunch’. I would even prefer ‘allpeepsnodosh shitpaddle street’ to ‘credit crunch’ but never mind.

I bought a house in October 2007, thus ensuring that I paid over the odds in the still inflated market, and got a fixed rate mortgage at 5.5% which I am still paying. My house is worth about £20,000 less than what I paid thus ensuring that I am in negative equity. The only good thing was that I whacked down a 10% deposit so it isn’t as bad as it could be.

I haven’t had a pay rise and my bonus wasn’t what I expected.

However I have found an amazingly good beer and a local supplier so I am well chuffed because now I can drink myself to oblivion.

The beer is ‘Samuel Smith Pure Brewed Lager’. It absolutely rocks. They also do an organic lager too which is just as nice.
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 10:42, 8 replies)

Crazy department store sales
We went to the JCPenny's shop and picked up about $1000 worth of clothing for 75% off.

When you look at your pile of loot you might smile but you wonder how long you've been ripped off by the store paying full price.

"Oh you mean to tell me this pair of jeans is only worth $15? Hmmm."
( teknikl, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 10:32, 1 reply)

The thing about the Credit Crunch that makes me weep
is that my old Star Wars toys and my first five hundred issues of 2000AD are worth fuck all now...
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 10:21, 10 replies)

Oh, and on a less serious note
The students at my school have taken to drinking Kick, Blue Charge and Red Rooster instead of Red Bull for their pre-registration boost of caffiene/sugar in preparation for their daily lesson-ruining...
(scentless_apprentice takes two bottles into the shower!, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 9:56, 1 reply)

Here's a thought.
If I'm wrong on this, then I apologise, but as I see it...

1. Banks lend to people who can't afford the repayments.
2. Banks tie these loans up in securities and derivatives financed by bank debts leveraged against other unsecured assets.
3. Traders realise something isn't quite right when the value of bonds, derivatives and securites is more than the GDP of the WHOLE FUCKING WORLD.
4. Banks panic and stop lending to each other, governments, businesses and people to cover their arses.
5. Banks realise that the debt hole is bigger than the money they have to fill it.
6. Businesses go down the shitter.
7. People lose jobs but on the flipside are encourage to spend more to stop other people losing their jobs.
8. Taxes paid by people who've just been told to fuck off are given to the banks who caused the fuck up in the first place.
9. Unemployment goes up, so taxes are lost, therefore the goverment has to borrow more.
10. All the while share prices are plummeting, causing our pensions (yes, you and me, not Mildred at 42) to evaporate before our eyes.
11. The paradox of thrift means that we're better off trying to make the most of a collapsing market rather than save our money/stuff it in our mattress.
12. Further to number 11, our money's worthless because it's down against the dollar and the euro, meaning no more booze cruises, cheap holidays, etc.
13. Council taxes are going up because half of them invested their money in Icelandic banks which have now fallen to bits.
14. ...and they've called this a Credit Crunch? WHAT THE FUCK?

I mean, it's a bit of a blase statement to make about what is basically a perfect example of how capitalism will eventually come to bite us in the ass.

I'm still waiting for Adam Smith's 'Invisible Hand' to come back and steer us on the right course.

Otherwise, I'm appreciating the wonder of Smartprice chopped tomatoes, mince and 101 different ways of using a carrot.

See you when it all blows over.

P.S. Anyone who watched Bremner Bird And Fortune's Silly Money series will get a real insight into what's going on, along with a bonus comedy element too. Oh, and C4's Ascent of Money was a brilliant overview of how we got into this mess in the first place...
(scentless_apprentice takes two bottles into the shower!, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 9:54, 14 replies)

Tastes like chicken
My parents still live in America – in Michigan to be precise; a state which used to produce cars, but now does trade in murder, unemployment, child abuse and crystal meth. Already tough times have recently gotten tougher.

I spoke to my dad on the phone the other day:

“TheSnark, honey, all of the squirrels have disappeared.”
“Meh?”
“Yeah, the people are so poor and hungry they’re eating the varmints.”

I expect them to go after the cats next.
(TheSnark oh, c'mon, like you didn't see me coming, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 9:52, 6 replies)

(slightly OT)
Does anyone know what legal position I'd be in if I wrote to the Inland Revenue and informed them that I was withholding my income tax for several months, as I disagree with the fact my money is being given to businesses that under a free capitalist system should be allowed to fail if they make bad decisions?

I suspect the words 'haven't' 'leg' and 'stand on' will appear in the answer, but thought I'd ask. I may do it anyway to see what happens though.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 9:40, 8 replies)

In an effort to save my company money
I have recently decided to forgo replacing the toilet rolls that ran out last week on the basis that I work alone in this office, and there is a perfectly good sink.
( Bazongaloid, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 9:38, Reply)

Having to cut corners
Obviously, what with this credit crunch business going on shops and businesses have helped out us poor by simply putting their prices up instead of down. Tescos have sneakily done this on alot of items, so as a family we have looked at "alternate shopping".

BTW Britain before I continue I thought VAT went DOWN, NOT UP YOU BUNCH OF MONOPOLIZING CUNTS!!!!!

Ahem. Anyhows, we've taken to shopping in alternate places, and have discovered the joys of Aldi. Now originally, Aldi had the "Lidl" stigma attached to it, which was "It's german, it's good for cheap booze, but the food tastes of gone-off twat". Recently, they've actually changed alot of things and sell not-to-bad stuff (in fact the frozen microwave thai curry is very good, I fattily recommend it).

The one thing they haven't got right though is the toilet rolls. Christ.....just add the smallest hint of moisture and bam, instant falling apart mushyness. After using approximately half a roll on one visit to the toilet, that was enough for me. I threw the spare rolls at passing kids.

So to summarize, Aldi's is not that bad, unless you need to take a shit regularly. Just don't eat too many thai curries then.
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 9:29, 8 replies)

Credit crunch?
I was in Tesco last week and bought some "Gorilla Munch". Sounds pretty much the same thing to me.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 9:28, Reply)

An Unexpected Side Effect
People are driving more slowly.

To explain, I've noticed that lots of people no longer go past Speed cameras at a risky clip. They seem to be going for the "You're not getting my money" approach rather than "10% over the limit, I should be safe." Other than that it seems to be drive at a fuel conserving speed (or so my wife tells me).
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Fri 23 Jan 2009, 9:26, 2 replies)

I know several people who own shops
and it's interesting to see the contrast.

LARGE MULTIPLE CHAINS: "Sales are down 3%! Shit! Shit! It's the end of the world. Quick - to the roof!"

SMALL BUSINESS OWNERS: "Sales are only down 3%. That's great - far better than can be expected in a recession. Looks like things will be okay"

Tell me, which is the more sensible approach?
( Olembe Refuses to write in this space, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 9:25, 4 replies)

The company I work for may make a loss this year
For the first time in years; we sell into quite a few companies who have been on the news for laying off huge amounts of staff. Fortunately the boss man owns everything lock, stock (nothing leased) so we're in a reasonable position to batten down the hatches and try and ride it out.

My mum owns a shop, no fucker is shopping in it. She's losing money hand over fist.

The company my dad works for have just laid off 10% of their UK workforce, fortunately not him, although he's having to cut his site budget by about half a mil this year, Woolworths accounted for about 35% of their business.

So not great, but at least none of us have lost our jobs...

I have no debts other than an overdraft and some money owed to the parents so am actually alright. Have been applying for credit cards on the basis that my taxes are bailing the banks out so the cunts can give me some of my own cash back, and nobody will give me one!

I hate the phrase credit crunch as well but there is NO denying that it exists, although it is in fact actually a recession as people have pointed out.

Free market capitalism = EPIC FAIL
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 9:08, 1 reply)

From reading what most people have written here
no one is being affected by the 'credit crunch'.

So is it fair to say that it doesn't really exist and has just been made up by the media?
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Fri 23 Jan 2009, 8:33, 4 replies)

Well...
I've had to cut down to just one croissant per day; whilst sat out on the balcony, reading the newspaper, with a glass of wine, looking smug.
( The Incredible Sulk Finally remembered his password on, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 8:22, 3 replies)

AAArrgh. The Humanity!
The credit crunch has led to me getting a better parking spot in the morning.

Length? About 20 feet, but a bit more on Friday.
(wambam Thank you! Young man., Fri 23 Jan 2009, 8:01, Reply)

QOTW FAQ
Hello /questions board! We've compiled a first draft for a QOTW-specific FAQ, seeing as all the other b3ta boards have one*.

Pop over to the thread in the Off Topic forum and let us know if you think there's something missing or if anything needs to be changed.

What does this have to do with the credit crunch? Well, I've personally had fuck all to do for the last few weeks while everyone in my office awaited their fate following my company's merger with another firm, so I've had plenty of spare time to write the bugger.

Turns out I'll be made redundant by October at the latest, but bollocks to all that misery, GO ADD YOUR COMMENTS!


* except /talk, but they're all feral savages anyway :-)
( chart cat has an itch, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 7:43, Reply)

Fucked
Just thought I'd quote from a Guardian story:

"Privately, something close to desperation is starting to develop inside government. After watching the slide in bank shares on Friday, one cabinet minister did not altogether joke when he said: "The banks are fucked, we're fucked, the country's fucked."

www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2009/jan/19/economy-banking

Just to cheer you all up this Friday :)
(Mucky has squinted at the screen with one eye shut since, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 6:52, 1 reply)

money saving tip number 4
steal herbs from the neighbours garden and feed them to their rabbits. this not only builds a bond of trust making it easier to capture, throttle, and flay the beasts for the stockpot, it saves you time seasoning them so you can go the extra mile and make imitation fox tracks near the hutch to allay suspicion.
for extra points, leave a random ear, head, or foot in the cage to ensure little jimmy cries like a baby and mum and dad feel compelled to replace the much loved pets, ensuring continued supply of tasty tasty flesh.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 6:08, 2 replies)

money saving tip number three
are you straight? male?? do you like to go out on the piss?


go to a gay bar.

not only will you not pay for a drink all night, BUT you will also get fairly exclusive scheming rights on all the straight girls who are there with their gay friends, (chicks are WAAAY more likely to go to a gay bar than dudes if they don't bat that way.. trust me) who will as an added bonus, be impressed by how secure in your masculinity you are.. double result! women allow guys they have NO intention of shagging buy them drinks all the time, so what's the harm?
pick yourself out a nice tight pair of jeans and let a woman/gay friend dress you and you're SET.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 5:54, 9 replies)

money saving tip number two!
this one's a doozie. it's simple, fun, and totally guaranteed to work.

smoke crack
lots of crack
steal everything that isn't nailed down and guarded by a bear.
rob the arse out of anyone smaller and more vulnerable/trusting than you
this will guarantee that not only will you not get harshly prosecuted, but you'll never want for personal electrical goods, bikes, food etc again, AND in the unlikely event that the powers that be DO decide to apprehend you, they'll set you up in a nice cosy warm room with a playstation and TV, pool room, gym, and a bunch of other like minded people, where the drugs flow freely and then when you get out, you can either take the cushy living deal they set you up, OR you can go on another mammoth bender, steal an elephant from london zoo, stampede it round a mall half naked and flinging feces like a monkey posessed, and the police will shake their heads sadly, and say 'poor lamb! he's on drugs you see. can't help himself. tragic really'

plus you'll get to hang with pete doherty and amy winehouse, and with your missing tooth and stained, hand-me-down clothing crusted with dried semen, you'll fit RIGHT in to the glittering elite of society.


happy days!
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 5:48, 1 reply)

my money saving tip
if you're single, date a fat person.

hear me out.

they will a: save you money on heating bills at night.

b: you can scram down a good portion of their meals in the name of 'helping them diet' saving you money on food

c: as the money situation gets worse and you resort to outright food stealing, the big fatty will gradually metamorphose into a thinner more attractive version, just in time for the 'credit crunch' to end and you to go somewhere bikinis might be plausible.

wahey!
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 5:42, 2 replies)

oh my god I've been hit hard.
My chance of buying a house is now gone.
My 'secure' job now isn't.
I'm dipping into my savings.
I live in a shanty town with no running water.

Get over yourselves.

Signed,
People in most of the world.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 5:25, 4 replies)