roughly 6 years ago?
The frankly horrendous ex-girlfriend lost her battle axe of a grandmother to a highly potent form of cancer, now, no woman I have known deserved it more than this arse faced old carrot, but never the less, the ex (hereby known as CUNT) was quite upset.
Fast forward a few week, and the strangely lumpy ashes are ready to be picked up, a job taken on by CUNT and CUNTS mum. Rather creepily in itself, they decide to take out a spoonful of ashes each to keep as some sort of bizarre memento, they are thusly deposited into a small cardboard gift box and placed in a bedside cabinet (typing it, it seems even more odd than I thought at the time).

Later that night (roughly 1am).....

An earthquake, or tremor, as is probably the correct terminology hits the area we live in, the area we live in is Barnsley, so, a very rare occurrence indeed, wardrobes shake, the TV edges off its stand and falls to the floor, my underpants are almost filled with excrement, the usual scary stuff associated with natural disasters. Now, my sleepy head can only make sense of this by assuming that the ashes of the CUNTS nan are a bit pissed off about being separated from its mates and are showing their displeasure by going all poltergeisty. In short, its the only time in my life I've believed in ghosts, literally the most scared I have ever been, I just lay there, frozen, feeling on the edge of having a heart attack at a very premature age.

Then, to add insult to injury, my phone went beserk with message tone after message tone, each and every message asking something along the lines of can you drop a gram of coke off at my mates house? 'OMG OMG DID YOU FEEL THAT????'

well, dear reader, I did feel it. You know who didn't feel it? Thats right, the CUNT, she was still fast asleep, probably dreaming of emptying my bank account fraudulently a full 2 years after we split up. Should stabbed her through her black heart at that exact moment.

Personally, I dont think this story went anywhere. Sorry
(whorsepower needs an amusing sig, Sun 10 Apr 2011, 22:49, 12 replies)

1/10
please don't bother any more.
( Cactus 1 doesn't care what you think on, Sun 10 Apr 2011, 23:22, closed)

Cunt off fucko
He's poured his heart out to qotw and all he gets is mockery
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Sun 10 Apr 2011, 23:29, closed)

Top white knighting, here.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Sun 10 Apr 2011, 23:51, closed)

fucko
Being the lesser known Marx Brother.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 0:00, closed)

b3ta.com/talk/7159725
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 0:18, closed)

all QOTW is lies, i dont see what point you're making?

(whorsepower needs an amusing sig, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 0:22, closed)

I saw your name on this
and didn't bother reading it. Sorry.
( Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 0:22, closed)

So you're a coke dealer?
I bet your cunt of an ex is gutted she lost you eh?
(mr-lizard Hell's teeth man!, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 0:33, closed)

Sssshhhhhh!
He's a coke dealer who brags about it on the internet. He must be dead hard.
(TheColonel, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 9:37, closed)

I like this
so, do you stab your girlfriends now, just in case?
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Mon 11 Apr 2011, 6:53, closed)

I'm sensing
a little bitterness, I dunno why. It's quite creepy in itself.
(Rsoles, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 10:07, closed)

I assume it's some kind of
troll, but you need to try harder.

Someone would have to be quite determined to read past the CUNT CUNT CUNT bit. It screams out 'The rest of this story is shit'.
(username failed moderation, Mon 11 Apr 2011, 10:33, closed)