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This is a question Desperate Times

Stranded in a hotel in an African war zone with no internet access for two weeks, I was forced to resort to desperate measures. Possessing only my passport and the clothes I stood up in; and the warning "You can catch it shaking hands with a vicar out there" ringing in my ears, I had to draw my own porn in order to preserve my sanity.

Alas, it all came out looking like Coronation Street's Audrey Roberts, but, as they say, any port in a storm.

What have you done in times of great desperation?

(, Thu 15 Nov 2007, 10:10)
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when the dust settled from my birthday party this weekend, amongst other items i was left with a huge tin of roses. i don't want them in my flat or i'll eat them. so i bring them to work, thinking this way i will just be able to have one or two of the nicer ones.

humph, i reckoned without the gannets in this building.

yesterday i was happily rejecting everything except the caramel squares and those nice solid chocolates ones with the hazelnut in the middle.

today i am forced to suck my way desperately through sickly strawberry and sickening orange cremes because that is all that is left. from a giant tin.

nobody likes the cremes. why are there so many of them? why? still, could be worse, could be coffee revels...
(, Tue 20 Nov 2007, 12:57, 32 replies)
How dare you Mrs Swipe.
The Strawberry and orange cremes are the best ones!

Feel free to mail them to me.
(, Tue 20 Nov 2007, 12:58, closed)
Re: Guilt
I agree with this post!
(, Tue 20 Nov 2007, 13:00, closed)
Sod the sweets!
Tell me about the bling!
(, Tue 20 Nov 2007, 13:00, closed)
you guys are sick!
i suppose you like raisins too???

ah, the bling - very beautiful gucci watch from my daddy, lovely tiffany bracelet from one friend, with earrings and necklace to come from others, swarovski cherry earrings (think they were being ironic!!) from a mate, vintage jewellery box to put them all in... totally spoilt.

although. i did also get an awful lot of champagne, which means some people think i'm a pisshead, and tonnes of beauty/scented stuff, so maybe they think i stink and ming. hmmmm.
(, Tue 20 Nov 2007, 13:04, closed)
Coconut chocs
Who eats them? After a family xmas, the tin of quality street is seemingly half full of the little green coconutty critters.


I even go for the strawberry/orange cremes in preference.
(, Tue 20 Nov 2007, 13:14, closed)
Ever sucked on one? You could find you end up with a sticky gooey mess all over your tongue.
(, Tue 20 Nov 2007, 13:20, closed)
Well, you are a picky lot
I'll eat any of them. I prefer the caramel chocolate ones, but am quite happy to munch any chocolate based confection.

Except Hershey's, because it's shite.
(, Tue 20 Nov 2007, 13:22, closed)
You people are philistines. The orange cremes are the best ones, followed by the coconut, then anything with toffee and then the rest.

Those big purple caramel and hazelnut ones are vile.
(, Tue 20 Nov 2007, 13:40, closed)
The creme ones are the best! I normally agree with Ms Swipes point of view on things but this time I don't. You can just get whole tins of Quality Street (i think it is anyway) cremes but they've gone and spoilt that by having Banoffee ones! If ever there was a horrific idea, banana in Quality street is it.
(, Tue 20 Nov 2007, 13:45, closed)
mmmmm coffee
I must be the only person alive who like coffee revels.
(, Tue 20 Nov 2007, 13:52, closed)
No, I love 'em!
... but then, I also thought I was the only one who did.
(, Tue 20 Nov 2007, 13:58, closed)
no no
not the evil big purple ones, they are too big to eat comfortably or elegantly, and if you bite into them, you get sticky caramel everywhere.

the nice round solid milk chocolate swirls with a nut in the centre. bring them on.

coffee revels are the devils arse pellets. and why did they feel the need to change the lovely peanut ones for skanky dead grapes? raisins suck. ugh.

and yes, hersheys is disgusting EXCEPT for the white chocolate "cookies and creme". mmm. thank fuck there is an artist formerly known as benjy's in uxbridge which justifies its cheap disgusting sandwich existence by selling them.

EDIT: oh fair enough, busted...
(, Tue 20 Nov 2007, 14:00, closed)
Are shit. They're the Tesco saver of the chocolate world. Thorntons are a bit better, but not much.

And what's that guff about Rachelswipe not being able to fit big purple ones in her mouth. We know the truth.
(, Tue 20 Nov 2007, 14:03, closed)
Last Christmas
my sister bought me 2kg of Belgian chocolate slabs. Added to all of the other chocolate stuff other people gave me, I was still eating it in May. And that was even after telling everyone not to include chocolate in my birthday presents, in February.

The Belgians don't really do anything very well, except chocolate. But that's enough.

BTW Rachelswipe, can you buy the white Hersheys in the UK, or do I have to wait until my next trip over the Atlantic to sample some?
(, Tue 20 Nov 2007, 14:08, closed)
Was her mentioning the sticky stuff spurting everywhere too obvious a gag for you?
(, Tue 20 Nov 2007, 14:10, closed)
Big purple ones...
Must... Stop... Self... From... Posting...

[fights battle with conscience]
(, Tue 20 Nov 2007, 14:10, closed)
how many times
gagging is for amateurs!
(, Tue 20 Nov 2007, 14:17, closed)
Nothing is too obvious for me.
(, Tue 20 Nov 2007, 14:30, closed)
the cremes are the bestest
strange caramel eating people should not be allowed lovely strawberry cremes
(, Tue 20 Nov 2007, 14:32, closed)
Coffee Revels
I friggin LOVE coffee Revels!!! And those coconut ones are yummy. I agree though that anything involving orange cream is rank. I'd rather eat broccoli.
(, Tue 20 Nov 2007, 14:35, closed)
"Gagging is for amateurs"
My dearest thing, I hope I'm not the only one to miss that blatant nortyness.

*Bows before Rachelswipe and her awesome talents*

Humpty would like to say he love the cremes and liqueurs... esp the Egg ones.. :)
(, Tue 20 Nov 2007, 14:44, closed)
on the contrary
I imagine her gaz inbox has just exploded.
(, Tue 20 Nov 2007, 14:52, closed)
Mmmmm.... Fudge
I find there's nothing worse than unwrapping what I think is a delicious pink one, shoving it in my mouth and discovering that I've picked up a nasty red one instead.

I tend to spit it out rather than swallow the resultant sticky mess.
(, Tue 20 Nov 2007, 16:02, closed)
oh, right
I like soft centres. I like to get the tip of my tongue in there and probe the sugary cream until it oozes over my lips.
(, Tue 20 Nov 2007, 16:21, closed)
oh no
i much prefer the ones that are hard all over. especially the ones that get even harder as you suck them towards the end.
(, Tue 20 Nov 2007, 16:24, closed)
Fancy a drink?
*passes Racehlswipe a stiff one*
(, Tue 20 Nov 2007, 16:31, closed)
what a fantastic cock

(, Tue 20 Nov 2007, 16:34, closed)
Miss Emmypenny
Presumably you're even less keen if the nasty red one has also been previously dipped in fudge.

This thread is degenerating a bit - I love it, but you'd be forgiven for thinking it's Wednesday already!
(, Tue 20 Nov 2007, 16:36, closed)
We should swap
Once I've scoffed all the orange and strawberry cremes I'm stuck with the caramel or hazelnut ones!
(, Tue 20 Nov 2007, 17:45, closed)
I just
wanted to get this thread to 30 replies. woo!
(, Tue 20 Nov 2007, 17:47, closed)
you fat bastard.... :p
There again, I ate a whole Galaxy in work yesterday. No idea why the missus had bought it, and why I took it to work.

Fecking lully though.
(, Wed 21 Nov 2007, 10:18, closed)
You're so right. Also overindulging during a fudge session can make you feel rather uncomfortable.
(, Wed 21 Nov 2007, 16:40, closed)

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