If you're in the habit of getting drunk on your own in front of the computer you've probably got more to worry about than buying stuff on ebay.

( Zuowan, Thu 10 Apr 2014, 18:08, 5 replies)

when i was 17, a group of 10 of us went to cornwall for a week's holiday
on the first night, i got utterly smashed and thought it would be a great idea to have my shoulder length hair cut really short at a dodgy old person's hair salon in newquay.

i woke up in the morning and thanked god that it was just a bad dream.

until i looked in the mirror. my nickname was "helmet head" for the next 3 months. don't EVER go to the hairdressers drunk :(
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 10 Apr 2014, 17:13, 14 replies)

I got drunk and hooked up with a guy through OK Cupid.
The 44,000ltr saline enema was incredibly refreshing.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 10 Apr 2014, 17:02, 7 replies)

Half a mind

Well, half a brain, in fact. An anatomically-correct life-size model of a human brain. No real idea why, apart from ISLAGIATT.

I currently use it to keep the mouse cable from sliding around, but one day I plan to build a "brain in a jar" with it.
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Thu 10 Apr 2014, 16:59, 4 replies)

from thailand
an electric blue neon sign that said "massages". in my drunken state, i thought it would be HILARIOUS to pay about £30 plus £10 postage for this, so i could put it in my flatmate's bedroom.

then i forgot all about it, until about 6 weeks later i got one of those cards from the royal mail. i thought someone had sent me an exciting present, but no. no, it was my tacky and stupid joke sign.

not only was it a thai plug (well, duh. what kind of idiot didn't know that? er...) but the cable was so short that i don't know how you'd ever manage to plug it in, unless you wanted to advertise massages on the floor.

it came all the way from thailand, and was in the bin in london by the end of the day. i might as well have taken out four £10 notes and pissed on them :(
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 10 Apr 2014, 16:57, 15 replies)

All I want to do when I'm drunk is get more drunk
And then go home and go to sleep. Why are people getting drunk in front of eBay? Is this a thing?
( DinivanX Has stinging piss after drinking Pact Coffee, Thu 10 Apr 2014, 16:46, 4 replies)

It was a fairly typical Saturday afternoon and I had been drinking steadily since finishing work
Friday evening. At about 3pm some people were going to the Great British Beer festival (GBBF) and they asked if I would like to join them. Arrived at Olympia at 3.15, I paid the entrance fee, bought the glass, looked at the people attending and left without consuming a drop and then I went to the Radnor Arms. See when you are drunk you can make good decisions.
( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Thu 10 Apr 2014, 16:22, 2 replies)

I heard that in medieval times the poor used to cook up a combination of various powders, which when sniffed would produce a euphoric high.
They used to have festivals in which they'd celebrate the harvest, and sprinkle some of this concoction as an offering to the gods. Constable harks back to these times, and has documented them in one of his paintings.

It was, detailed as, ah - I think this works - showers yore E haywains.

Guys?

Guys?
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 10 Apr 2014, 16:14, 7 replies)

I was shopping in the local sainsburys when I saw a big 600gm plastic container of whole cardamon seeds
"That might be nice if ever I'm making a curry", I thought as I put it in my basket. When I got home my wife asked the obvious question, "Why the fuck did you buy so many cardamon seeds, you're never going to use them?". I didn't really have any comeback as it occured to me that having never used this strong tasting and unground spice before, I'd have to commence spooning it over every meal for a year to get through it.
About three months later, having not used it at all, I was in the same Sainsburys, drunk from the pub, when I saw a big 600gm plastic container of whole cardamon seeds.
"That might be nice if ever I'm making a curry", I thought as put in my basket. It wasn't until I opened the pantry at home and saw the other jar that I remembered I'd already done this exact same thing before. They're both still there. Anyone know a good recipe that includes using a kilo of cardamon seeds?
( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Thu 10 Apr 2014, 16:09, 16 replies)

Perhaps drunken social media fucks ups would have been a better
Idea than shit eBay stories.
(Deskbound You insignificant speck of dust, Thu 10 Apr 2014, 16:06, Reply)

I have been shopping drunk and sober, drunk is better.

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Thu 10 Apr 2014, 16:02, Reply)

I was going to a Christening, and found some WONDERFUL trousers to wear to it.
It didn't end well.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 10 Apr 2014, 15:49, Reply)

(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Thu 10 Apr 2014, 15:45, Reply)

Sega master system mk1
And about 12 games.

Drunken eBay win.

I had actually completely forgotten about it until it arrived.

Not funny at all.
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 10 Apr 2014, 15:43, Reply)

Something about Lego.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 10 Apr 2014, 15:09, Reply)

Nobody is answering the question properly.
This is about Ebay. It says "Show us your drunk eBay wins". So none of this 'buy it now' shit either.

We have a week to regale each other with amusing anecdotes about the times we got drunk and bought things on EBAY.

I'll start us off.

I got drunk and bought a mousemat on Ebay.

OK, you can go ahead now.
(username failed moderation, Thu 10 Apr 2014, 15:03, 5 replies)

what a fucking sack of cunt

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 10 Apr 2014, 14:56, 5 replies)

I also get drunk and buy CD's on Amazon.
That is all.
( The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Thu 10 Apr 2014, 14:53, 2 replies)

Vintage Warhammer 40K miniatures, mostly
Also this month's issue of Scream horror magazine, 'cause I'm in it
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 10 Apr 2014, 14:48, 9 replies)

Bought 7 boxes of micro scalextric on ebay,
Best summer ever.
Even if the carpet didn't see the vacuum for 3 months.
(Mr Angry Is a totally miserable twat., Thu 10 Apr 2014, 14:48, Reply)

I keep looking on eBay for a device to help me stop pissing in my mouth.
They don't sell one.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 10 Apr 2014, 14:36, 10 replies)

As students, a couple of friends of mine on MASSIVE drugs,
turned up at 3am, having just come from Tesco.

"eVil we got you a footspa!!" one of them gleefully beamed at me. And so indeed they had.

In fact, they had purchased:
* 3 electric footspas,
* 4 apples (pink lady),
* a bunch of bananas,
* a packet of wire coat hangars,
* 1 large horseshoe magnet,
* a triple pack of ladies sew-in shoulder pads,
* booze and fags,
* and a boxed birthday cake with the iced message "Let's Party"

I still cherish that footspa.
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Thu 10 Apr 2014, 14:31, 1 reply)

Actually, I did purchase a shed...

( Muns, Thu 10 Apr 2014, 14:29, Reply)

I once drunkenly ordered some mix tapes online

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 10 Apr 2014, 14:27, Reply)

Tell us about how depressed you are instead, you miserable fools.
Or cheer up - one or the other - it's up to you.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 10 Apr 2014, 14:25, Reply)

I have no genuine stories
because I spend ALL my money on booze and drugs
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Thu 10 Apr 2014, 14:22, Reply)

I have no genuine stories
as I'm not a fucking idiot.
( Muns, Thu 10 Apr 2014, 14:18, Reply)

Second!

(Gusofnavarone always makes a map of france from sarnies, Thu 10 Apr 2014, 14:05, Reply)