Self-expression
I've recently moved across the Atlantic to America, leaving my lovely mr vitamin c behind in London. I'm going to be here for 2 years, and due to the fact that neither of us is hugely wealthy, and neither of us gets decent holidays, we're going to both be celibate for 2 years, minus a few weeks of holiday time (the first one being October).

Now, mr vitamin c is very in touch with his body, and more than happy to have intimate moments with himself when he needs to. I'm not - I'm a total prude, have somehow been brought up believing sex is sinful and masturbation doubly so. Although I've kind of got over the sex hang ups, I'm not totally at ease with myself. This means that for the past 3 weeks, I've been getting hornier and hornier, to the extent that I've actually been in tears twice with frustration.

On saturday I decided that enough was enough, I'd have to take matters into my own hands. I was fairly keen on purchasing a mechanical friend to help myself out, but they're illegal in the state I'm living in (ah, the Deep South, so lovely).

so I experimented a bit.

Results are as follows:

1. a wal-mart neck massager is an acceptable substitute for a vibrator.

2. a cheap vibrating toothbrush isn't, mainly due to the ear-drum popping noise it makes.

3. nor is an electric razor.

and perhaps most importantly from my point of view:
4. olive oil is not a good lubricant. Nor is mint and tea tree shampoo.

can't wait until October now...
( ascorbate, Tue 29 Jul 2008, 20:51, 13 replies)

Illegal?
How do they police that?
( Roxy_Hart is so so old, Tue 29 Jul 2008, 21:00, closed)

Olive oil?
Not a good lubricant?
Oh yes it is!!
:@ /
( blyerkit e k trilby, Tue 29 Jul 2008, 21:34, closed)

Buy one from out of state on the interwebs?

( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Tue 29 Jul 2008, 21:34, closed)

OMG!
*feels your pain*
( girlinthehole, Tue 29 Jul 2008, 21:45, closed)

can't
there are few websites which will ship here apparently, and i daren't go to them on work computer... most sites will allow shipping to anywhere outside georgia, but not within :-( stoopid.

and olive oil just made me hungry.
( ascorbate, Tue 29 Jul 2008, 22:02, closed)

Drive South
To Florida, "articles designed primarily for the stimulation of the genitals" are perfectly legal here. Also, you may well find vibrators in a head shop in Georgia.
(PatronSaintOfPancakeBreakfasts, Tue 29 Jul 2008, 22:20, closed)

Look for more neck massagers
No one I know actually uses these on their necks
(DryGoldfish, Tue 29 Jul 2008, 23:58, closed)

Also
There are soem shops that found the loophole. Apparently you can't sell them for self pleasure purposes, BUT if it's for a medical reason, they are for sale. Just have to fill out a questionaire so they know it's for the sake of medicine and not orgasm *snickers*
( kitty minion Babies ate my dingo!, Wed 30 Jul 2008, 0:22, closed)

Only in America
You can own a 9mm semi-automatic or an assault rifle, but heaven forbid owning a length of vibrating rubber.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Wed 30 Jul 2008, 9:26, closed)

according to my girlfriend
a shower hose / head is a girl's best friend...and no, not inserted - just providing stimulation for your lady bits.
( I_Was_Mordred, Wed 30 Jul 2008, 9:52, closed)

Hmmm
Tricky situation.
Perhaps try ordering one of these massagers:
www.hitachi--magic--wand.com/

It comes highly recommended and is sold mainly as muscle massager so you shouldn't have any problems.

Enjoy! ;O)
( DUMBLONDE is a rubber lover girl, Wed 30 Jul 2008, 11:03, closed)

postage
get mr vitamin c to post you one from the uk? otherwise a quick trip to florida would be in order for me!
(phe, Wed 30 Jul 2008, 11:41, closed)

This is going to sound weird...
But I believe you can buy them from specialist 'farm shops' and say you're going to pleasure a cow with one or get a bull excited. Something to do with artificial insemination, or something (said vaguely!). It's a recognised loop hole..*apparently*. Don't ask how I know. Quite how large a device you'll end up with is anybody's guess!
(Countryslicker, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 11:06, closed)