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This is a question Family Feuds

Pooster tells us that a relative was once sent to the shops to buy an onion, while the rest of the family went on a daytrip while he was gone. Meanwhile, whole sections of our extended kin still haven't got over a wedding brawl fifteen years ago – tell us about families at war.

(, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 12:24)
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About 8 years ago, my father and grandfather had an argument. As a consequence, they didn't speak for 2 years, and barely spoke thereafter, only reconciling just before my grandather's death last year.

What was the argument about? I'm not allowed to know. Apparently it was something so serious that, according to my mum (who divorced my father before this happened) "It's better if you don't know, you will never be able to speak to either of them in quite the same way again." All I know is that it wasn't anything directly to do with me or my brother.

Only four people on Earth have ever known what my dad and my grandad fell out about - the two antagonists, my mum, and, for some reason, her ex-husband. She said she'd tell me when they were both dead, so that I didn't have to look either of them in the eye knowing what had happened. I asked what would happen if she were to die first, so she has written it down, on a piece of paper in a sealed envelope, only to be opened in the event of the death of everyone who knows this ugly little secret.

I know where this envelope is.

Should I open it?

edit: Just to make clear that my dad's very much still alive and I see him on a regular basis...
(, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 21:03, 28 replies)
Fuck yeah
and then tell me. I need to know now - or until I forget about it.
(, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 21:06, closed)
Dont do it man
seems some people have put a lot of effort into shielding you from this.
(, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 21:15, closed)
If ever you do find out
make sure you post it on QOTW when an appropriate question pops up.
(, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 21:30, closed)
It's a Trap!
(, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 21:30, closed)
is his father or grandfather the deathstar?
(, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 21:32, closed)
Come on Ackbarr
You think *everything's* a trap!

To be fair, you were right about the whole imperial fleet that one time, but still....
(, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 8:31, closed)
do it!
It could make great bargaining material.

Plus whatever they did was years ago - back then everything was a scandal.

maybe next weeks challenge should be: what does the letter say?

I'd go for bestiality with an underage, same sex animal. Is there much worse?

*checks b3ta for reference*
(, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 21:34, closed)

bestiality with an underage,same sex, DEAD animal
(, Sun 15 Nov 2009, 1:13, closed)
Take the envelope
And burn it.

(, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 21:40, closed)
It couldn't be that bad
(, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 23:18, closed)
It's gotta be something pretty fucking bad.
I think I'd want to know what, but that doesn't necessarily mean I wouldn't regret opening the envelope it afterwards.
(, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 0:28, closed)
Open it!
And then tell me before I spontaneously combust out of curiosity.
(, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 6:26, closed)
I wouldn't.
Once you know, you can't un-know. It might be something or nothing, but I wouldn't take the risk myself.
(, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 7:51, closed)
Walk the path of least harm...
...and don't open it.

It's sealed for a reason and it's important to your mum. Opening it will mean one of two things:

a) It's contents will be trivial and insignificant leading you to question your mothers priorities/sanity and that could lead to both tension and conflict.

b) It's contents will be hideous and unpleasant, leading to your understanding of your family being shaken to the core.

Either way, you'll have broken your mothers trust by opening it (she's bound to find out) and no good will come of it young man!

(That said, if you DO open it, I just know we're all *gagging* to find out what it says as well!)
(, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 9:09, closed)
No no, wait. Take the money.
(, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 9:18, closed)
No, of course not.

Unless you don't give a flying fuck about your folks.

I assume from the fact you haven't opened it yet that this isn't the case... unless you only discovered the envelope's location just before you wrote this, which would be a startling coincidence.
(, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 11:37, closed)
Smother your Mum with a pillow
and cut the brake lines on your Dad's car. TODAY. Then, with them both in the morgue you can open the envelope with a clear conscience.
(, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 12:30, closed)
I don't think you should open it yet.
It might be a good idea to put the envelope somewhere safe in case your mother has second thoughts about writing it down, though. Congratulations on resisting temptation so far though, the curiosity must be killing you. It's killing me, and I've only just found out about it and don't know anyone involved.
(, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 14:47, closed)
8-7 against and counting. Guess you lot are as unsure as I am.

And to clear one thing up, I've always known where the envelope is (in a drawer, sorry, nothing exciting).

And no, this isn't some kind of incredibly abstract Star Wars post.
(, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 22:35, closed)
open it

(, Sat 14 Nov 2009, 4:11, closed)
You do understand...
After all the mystery and secrets, one day you will eventually discover what the feud was about only to hear it was about something inane about someone not getting a round in when due...
(, Sat 14 Nov 2009, 23:43, closed)
the answer is obvious.
they both shagged your mum. No disrespect intended, but imagine... your mum and dad are divorced, then a certain incident happens that is so serious no one knows of it, except for the people who had to deal with the drama at the time.
(, Sun 15 Nov 2009, 6:56, closed)
Take it out and carefully hold it to your ear...
You'll hear the faint meow of Schrödinger's Cat's inside.
(, Sun 15 Nov 2009, 23:42, closed)

(, Mon 16 Nov 2009, 11:11, closed)
Leave it alone.
You can never put the genie back in the bottle.

Whatever the details, the kernel remains unaltered - To paraphrase what others have already said: If it's minor, you'll risk affecting multiple relationships* for no gain. If it's major, you'll risk affecting multiple relationships** for no gain.

* With your mother, by breaching her trust. With your father and grandfather, who might perceive severity differently.
** With your mother, by breaching her trust. With your father and grandfather, because of how you perceive what they did.
(, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 19:55, closed)
And the final score is...

I won't open it. That way I can do it in response to another qotw...
(, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 16:16, closed)
Have a friend open it.
They would be able to judge whether you really should know or not.

Though I think there's a good chance that the secret isn't written there and she only did it so you'd shut up about it.
(, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 17:27, closed)

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