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This is a question Family Feuds

Pooster tells us that a relative was once sent to the shops to buy an onion, while the rest of the family went on a daytrip while he was gone. Meanwhile, whole sections of our extended kin still haven't got over a wedding brawl fifteen years ago – tell us about families at war.

(, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 12:24)
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The bastard uncle
Every family seems to have one but I've yet to hear of one that is as much of a bastard as mine.
The story begins years before my birth and so I've had to piece it together over the years from various family members as my dad refuses to talk about it.

Hugh (for that is his name, a.k.a bastard uncle) was the eldest of 3 siblings in a fairly well of family. Once leaving school he had decided to start his own business and had asked for a loan from my grandfather. Of course my granddad was only to happy to help out his first born and the money was arranged.

A week later Hugh rolled up in his new Jaguar. Business plans out the window and money now in four wheeled form with no hope of recovery. It was brand new and had lost half of its value as soon as he drove it from the forecourt. This was bad enough but it was the first of many loans, for a house, a business etc. each time the money being squandered on cars or women. My granddad always lent the money in the trusting naivety that parents can have for their children. Hugh was not done though and asked for another loan to buy a pub. Eventually the money was all gone and my granddad told him such. So Hugh looked around and said;

"How much is this house worth? Sell it and come live with me."

He persuaded him and despite my dad and aunt trying to stop him the last of my granddad's money was 'lent'. Granddad moved into the pub with Hugh and this seemed to be the end but it was just the start. My dad got a phone call a week or so later. It was my granddad and he wanted to see him. When my dad arrived my granddad was sat on the doorstep with his meagre number of possessions.

That's right dear readers, my uncle had kicked his own father out on to the street. Now penniless and homeless, he was forced to move into our spare bedroom until we found him rented accommodation. His health degraded and for the last years of his life my father had to care for him for several hours a day. Not once did Hugh visit.

I was 11 when the funeral came, and it was the first time I had seen my uncle. That day I saw my 6'4" dad cry. The single most humbling experience of my life. I looked to my uncle who sat stony faced and uncaring.

To this day my aunt has written in her will that he is to be turned away if he comes to her funeral. I'll be more than happy to do it.
(, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 19:25, 13 replies)
Bastard Uncle
This guy sounds like the very definition of a psychopath, you are better off not being anywhere near him.
(, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 20:09, closed)
I think...
calling him a psychopath would be too good for him. Interestingly we do have contact with his daughter who has also realised he's evil and wants nothing to do with him.
(, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 20:44, closed)

Shit.

That's brutal.
(, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 21:00, closed)
I do not like
but I would be quite happy to set fire to this thundering cunt for you, if ever required.
(, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 21:10, closed)
Fuck me
I thought I was related to some sociopathic cunts! Are there any unsolved murders or rapes in the area where he lives? Perhaps it would be worth volunteering your DNA to compare with open investigations to see if he might have been the perpetrator (you should share 25% of your DNA with him which may be enough to collar him. If you are both male then you will share the same Y chromosome and that should definitely be enough to get a warrant for his DNA if there is a match.
(, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 21:15, closed)
Please...
don't remind me that I share DNA with him.
(, Sun 15 Nov 2009, 2:21, closed)
What a fucking cunt....
I hope his balls turn square and fester on the corners.
(, Fri 13 Nov 2009, 22:26, closed)
I like this

(, Sat 14 Nov 2009, 0:36, closed)
Masterful invective sir,

(, Sat 14 Nov 2009, 1:17, closed)
What a wanker.
I wish him pain.
(, Sat 14 Nov 2009, 1:18, closed)
I clicked this
Not because I 'like' the story, but because I want to show some solidarity. He sounds like the kind of twunt I wouldn't piss on if he was on fire.
Does he still run the pub? Any chance of getting him a visit from the local hoodies?
Though, thinking about it, given his financial history, a tip off to HM Revenue & Customs might be more in order. They're bound to find something.
(, Sun 15 Nov 2009, 0:19, closed)
That's bad
A click for your family's suffering. What a complete prick your Uncle is, hope he gets his comeuppance one day.
(, Wed 18 Nov 2009, 19:47, closed)
Someone should stick one of these up his arse!
www.b3ta.com/questions/foodsabotage/post250350
(, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 1:35, closed)

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