For years, one of my former brothers in law used to have terrible lower body pain and it was whispered that he pee'd blood now and then.
He was also monumentally surly, even by adolescent boy-standards, all through his teens. This was later put down to the pain he was in, but I reckon embarrassment played a part too, as we'll see...

When he was about 20 he had an operation on his bladder. A large stone was removed. I saw this stone, and it was round, nearly the size of my palm across, and half a centimetre thick in the middle, with sharp edges.

That must've been agony to carry around for all those years. However, more interestingly, the doctors found a small piece of wire embedded in the stone. The stone had formed around this wire, like a pearl around a piece of grit.

So... how had it got there?
His mother declared that as he'd fallen into a pond when he was 8, he must have swallowed the wire then and it had 'worked its way down'.

What bollocks. I think he shoved it up his Jap's eye during some young teenage willy-play and when he couldn't get it out, tried to ignore it and hoped it'd reappear naturally.

I told both the then Mr Quar and his mother this, and they were both furious that I should make such a filthy allegation against the sweet innocent lad.
That just made it funnier, I'm afraid.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Mon 26 Oct 2009, 15:06, 16 replies)

Your idea
is the only possible way it could have got there. It's a wonder he didn't suffer anything worse than a bit of pain.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 26 Oct 2009, 15:09, closed)

'nearly the size of my palm across'
lie post is lie.
(Richard Earl of Cambridge Cruel, Savage, Mon 26 Oct 2009, 15:28, closed)

she's a dwarf.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 26 Oct 2009, 15:35, closed)

It's all true.
The stone was in a jar next to his bed in hospital so he could show it off, and was passed around by visitors.
It was then taken away for analysis.

Incidentally, my hands are normal-sized female ones.

Wish I could have taken a photo but back then there were no digital cameras and I would've looked a bit odd whipping out my instamatic.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Mon 26 Oct 2009, 15:50, closed)

QOTW is fast becoming like a twatty youtube channel
spastics always quick to shout "FAKE" or "LIES"
(likeajackhammer, Mon 26 Oct 2009, 16:18, closed)

Pfft
I don't care if people don't believe me. FFS, if I wanted to make up a story it'd be more lurid and entertaining than an anecdote about my ex brother in law's bladder.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Mon 26 Oct 2009, 18:14, closed)

well lets put it this way if he swallowed it
then it would have to get through his kidneys before landing in the bladder

not possible

however for the story to be true the wire would have to be non ferrous or it would have simply rusted

copper or lead would have caused blood problems

so unless it was silver, gold, platinum or titatium or some of the few exotic pure metals that are benign in the body its a real conundrum

but whatever it was, it is

a) fucking odd

b) highly entertaining
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Mon 26 Oct 2009, 22:29, closed)

Why the fuck would copper cause blood problems?
And silver would cause Argia (sp?) so his piss would have been blue/black.
(misskitty reeks of sex and turpentine; laudanum afternoons, Tue 27 Oct 2009, 1:49, closed)

in high concentrations, ingested copper is toxic
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Copper#Toxicity

whereas silver in most cases can be used for jewelery and has beed used in dentistry for years

I have no idea what Argia is
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Tue 27 Oct 2009, 15:08, closed)

.
I read something similar to this in the paper many years ago.

An old man was having trouble with his penis, as it was infected and starting to shrivel up, so he went to the doctor. Doctor did some tests and couldn't suss what it was so then went inside for a closer look. He found a snapped off tube from a bic biro in there, the guy said he'd put it in there for extra pleasure years ago, but then couldn't get it out. As it was hollow it didn't stop him passing fluids and he was too embarrassed to tell anyone. It was only the pain that forced him in the end.
( Regger, Tue 27 Oct 2009, 16:35, closed)

Ah, the joys of my job
Oh yes - anything can form a stone if left there long enough. I removed a piece of plastic "scoobidou" which kids were using to make craft things which was turning into a stone and was treated to the "I must have swallowed it" nonsense. I blame the science ed.
By the way don't shove a daisy up there - the little hairs get stuck when you try and pull it out.
I love being a willydoctor
(willydoc, Tue 27 Oct 2009, 16:52, closed)

I thought this sounded familiar...
Life imitating art? (Obviously the wax shenanigans, unless your brother-in-law has other darker secrets. And I use 'art' tenuously.)
(Cynic, Tue 27 Oct 2009, 23:58, closed)