b3ta.com qotw
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Home » Question of the Week » How clean is your house? » Post 677439 | Search
This is a question How clean is your house?

"Part of my kitchen floor are thick with dust, grease, part of a broken mug, a few mummified oven-chips, a desiccated used teabag and a couple of pieces of cutlery", says Sandettie Light Vessel Automatic. To most people, that's filth. To some of us, that's dinner. Tell us about squalid homes or obsessive cleaners.

(I helped save b3ta! Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 13:00)
Pages: Latest, 11, 10, 9, 8, 7, ... 1

« Go Back

There are two kinds of people in the world...
Those that wash up before they have a meal, and those who wash up after. I fall unfortunately into the former category.
(robbersdog, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 14:03, 38 replies)
And those that wash up both before, and then afterwards.

(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 14:17, closed)
What about the type that only does washing up when one runs out of spoons?
Not me of course, only added for completness.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 14:46, closed)
Technically speaking
That's a genus of its own.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 14:55, closed)
A subset maybe
not a whole new genus.

Mind you I'm sure there are some new species evolving in my sink at the moment.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 15:23, closed)
especially if like me
you have a lot of spoons. I've used a wooden spoon to make a cup of coffee with in the past.
(I helped save b3ta! sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 16:10, closed)
I resort to having my weetabix in a pint glass
so I don't have to run out of bowls either.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 16:36, closed)
I like that idea
might try it for other cereals
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 17:01, closed)
Good for cornflakes
but not for museli.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 17:25, closed)
What about the type that doesn't even do the washing up once out of clean spoons?
I refer you to this tale.
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 10:25, closed)
Another subset
Whenever I live communally I am clean and tidy, its just when alone I'm an utter slob.

I have used a salad serving spoon for cereals though, but that was the last straw.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 12:42, closed)
there are those of us
who see how many dishes they can wash during the adverts
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 15:13, closed)
During the adverts on a non-terrestrial channel
It's possible to do the lot, including the roasting tin and the pan that the chocolate sauce was made in.
(I helped save b3ta! sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 16:12, closed)
very true
bbc 1 & 2 are not so good for doing the dishes
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 16:24, closed)
you could take the TV into the kitchen.

(I helped save b3ta! sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 16:50, closed)
it's a big TV
but it's only a small flat, so i can see the telly from the kitchen. unfortunately, the sink faces the other way :(
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 16:55, closed)
then you need
an arrangement of mirrors, prisms and lenses to make it easier.

Or plumb the kitchen into the living room.
(I helped save b3ta! sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 17:22, closed)
i'll have to stick to mirrors and prisms
as the council might get a bit pissy with me if i re-plumb their kitchen
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 18:04, closed)
ha
here in Spain adverts can run from 30 seconds to up to EIGHT FUCKING MINUTES!!!

Imagine how many dishes you could clean in that time.
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:51, closed)
I always moan when people stack plates
you have to wash both sides then!
(semp, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 15:20, closed)
I have a dishwasher

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 15:21, closed)
A smugicity 6000
with croisant dispenser I shouldn't wonder.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 15:24, closed)
Only the butler knows how to use it.

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 16:24, closed)
I wish I had a butler :-(

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 16:32, closed)
Look, I did volunteer, but you poo pooed the idea
Ignoring my inability to wash up by hand, do you want a fucking butler or not?
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 16:34, closed)
I'd have to give you an interview
you need to be the right sort.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 16:48, closed)
I'm clean and polite, what else is there?
I could re-wire the cottage while your walking the glens.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 16:53, closed)
while he's wanking the glans?
you're a sick, sick person
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 16:56, closed)
You git
I had to check my spellings there.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 17:23, closed)
heheheh

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 18:03, closed)
Me too...
I'm just too fucking lazy to load it...and when I do get around to loading it, the fucker sits there for days afterwards waiting to be unloaded.
(I helped save b3ta! snee held his breath since, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 16:07, closed)
We got one a couple of years ago
It's a godsend because previously, pots used to pile up next to the sink, now they're hidden in the dishwasher. We also forget to unload it. I think if we washed everything I doubt we'd have the cupboard space to put it all.

Incidentally, Asda are doing box of 60 Finish tablets for £6.
(I helped save b3ta! sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 16:14, closed)
buy the tablets in Makro
we get several thousand for about 4p
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 16:32, closed)
I presume you mean 4p each
and what brand? I'm one for buying such stuff in bulk when there's an offer on.
(I helped save b3ta! sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 16:51, closed)
I was indulging in a spot of hyperbole
they are the good Finish ones. Big boxes for cheap prices. The mrs actually buys them, her office being near Makro, but they are cheap. Have to buy a fucking big box though.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 17:01, closed)
Well done robbersdog,
This is turning into /OT
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 17:25, closed)
but classier
and more erudite
(I helped save b3ta! sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 17:51, closed)
Indeed.
There's butlers and everything.
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 18:01, closed)
That's not one of Tuco's

(I helped save b3ta! shinyshinyscalp less a man, more a way of life, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 17:41, closed)

« Go Back

Pages: Latest, 11, 10, 9, 8, 7, ... 1