Man farts
Why is it that I could eat the same evening meal as my lovely ex, but 6 hours later his straight from the dragon's den man farts, visibly green like cartoon gas, would wake me from kittenous slumber? His man farts, I deduce, came from a man sac inside his man bits that are hidden to xray.

It should be fixed by being bottled and used as a bulemic drug for instant puke and making me moneys.
(boozehound is drinking your bar dry, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:26, 5 replies)

I take it you're a girl, then
It's not gender-specific. Last night (after both eating the same meal) my missus was releasing such noxious clouds of sulphurous gas she was actually distressing herself, while my own were infrequent and odourless. Sometimes it happens the other way around.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:30, closed)

Agreed!
I have a rule, farts are funny as long as they don't smell. My wind rarely smells but the jazz trumpet noises are funny to both me, and the other half. Unfortunately when she quietly and discretely lets one go it could burn the nose hairs off a dead nun and render the room uninhabitable for about 15 minutes.
( JamHamster My eyes, my beautiful eyes!, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 9:58, closed)

Man farts = comedy
Girl farts = divorce
( AWPS, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 10:29, closed)

Women don't fart, they complain about feeling bloated and worry about 'slow digestive transit' instead.

( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Fri 23 Sep 2011, 11:21, closed)

You haven't met my woman.
My farts make a loud noise and smell vaguely farty.
Her farts are delicate little parp sounds and raise bubbles on painted surfaces.
( shinyshinyscalp less a man, more a way of life, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 12:55, closed)