Replace war with pistol duels
If world leaders are so keen someone should die for their cause then they should lead the way and settle it like gentlemen. That way they are sure to exhaust all diplomatic solutions first and if all else fails only one nob head dies.

If Bush Snr. and Saddam had just settled it at dawn we could have saved ourselves a lot of bother.

War would no longer cost trillions. Just a one way plane ticket for one and a musket ball. We could stop developing weapons and use the money spent on guns, bombs and tanks to feed poor people or something.
( Draconacticus Reject shampoo. Demand real poo!, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 11:39, 8 replies)

This is fine but you KNOW some of the "rank bad hats" like Iran
Will turn up with a plate steel stove door tied to their chest under a poncho like Eastwood in the Good The Bad and the Ugly.

And Swiss will say they only can use Waterpistols on ethical grounds.

Then Chile turns up with Blowpipe and poison darts and it all gets a bit silly.
( The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 11:46, closed)

This is a good point well made.

I had forgotten about arabian underhandedness. They shall duel naked. Weapons swinging in the breeze.

And fuck the Swiss.
( Draconacticus Reject shampoo. Demand real poo!, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 11:52, closed)

I fear you're mistaken - the door under the poncho was by Marty McFly
in Back to the Future Part III.

Easy mistake to make though if you're not really that much into film.
( Pig Bodine., Fri 23 Sep 2011, 12:26, closed)

Sir,
Only a rogue would use such barbarous machinery as a pistol. Are we to be no better than the Cow-Boys of the American wilds?

Yours &c.,
Apeloverage.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 11:57, closed)

Ha ha :D
*stips to a pair of tweed jodphurs and adopts a Marquess of Queensberry position*
( The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 11:59, closed)

Sir, I had not proposed that it would be fitting to mount a dusty mule and gallop at full pelt toward your adversary while ejaculating, "Wooo yeah, fill your hands you son of a bitch" or what ever is the common vernacular in the colonies.

I think that if you would be so good to consider the spectacle of two gentlemen in their fineries meeting at dawn, a flintlock apiece, walking 20 british standard paces, turning and then aiming down the splendidly crafted barrel of their firearms to deliver a shot twixt the oculars of their opponent, I'm sure you would find it pleasing to your high standards of taste and decency.
( Draconacticus Reject shampoo. Demand real poo!, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 12:06, closed)

I'd quite like to see it Olde Style
With suits of armour, broad-swords and those big spiky ball things...or maybe Gladiator style? Mano a mano.

But huge clicks for the suggestion.
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 12:12, closed)

sounds like an episode of Star Trek
oh wait.....
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Fri 23 Sep 2011, 12:57, closed)